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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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Should I have an affair??
Q. I met a man at work when he came from an agency to cover shifts, we went for a drink after work and had a kiss in his car the only thing is he's married and wants us to have an affair. Should i because i don't want anyone full time and it would su...
A. 9 May 2006: He is telling you he is in an obusive relationship is he? This is a slightly different answer form what you ahve given before. I do question your morals because he is a married man with children. If he is an abusive relationship as he alleges, ... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair??
Q. I met a man at work when he came from an agency to cover shifts, we went for a drink after work and had a kiss in his car the only thing is he's married and wants us to have an affair. Should i because i don't want anyone full time and it would su...
A. 8 May 2006: Whyask for advice if you will not take it on board. People on this site obviously give you the advice they think is correct....you cannot see it but it WILL all blow up in your face. At some point the wife will find out and then were will he be? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend watches other women...what can we do to fix this problem?
Q. my boyfriend has a problem with watchin other women and we both think that he needs help,so what can we do to get rid of his obsession of watching other women?...
A. 1 May 2006: I would like to know how he does this and exactly what you mean by watches other women. Do you mean when you are out as a couple or do you mean porn or on the TV?
Please reply and fill us in further.
xx... (read in full...)
I slept with a girl on Holiday before we dated, but I told her I didn't, I'm feeling quilty.
Q. I have told my girlfriend that I didn’t sleep with this girl on holiday. It was before we started seeing each other. This type of thing has come up before and she has already told me that she would finish with me if I told her that I haven’t slept ...
A. 1 May 2006: I think you need to stop worrying about this. It is your past and we all have one of those. Just let it go. If she asks about your past you don't have to be graphic telling her the whole who what when and were senario....just tell her the bare ... (read in full...)
He needs space to deal with his grief but I am losing my paitence!!
Q. Well i was going out with a guy until recently when he said that he needed space since his great nana has just died and we dont know each other that well. I've been careful to let him make all the flirting and communicating and ive had to learn to...
A. 30 April 2006: You are already pretending to be something you are not so why not just let this one go and chalk it up to experience?... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my friend's husband...I'm fighting it but am having a tough time. Help me!
Q. hi there.. I have recently come to the conclusion that I am attracted to my friends husband. I work with both of them and they are both lovely people. I have recently separated from my violent husband and we are proceeding to divorce. I am very ...
A. 30 April 2006: You probably have a crush on this guy because he represents all that your ex wasn't. I admire you as you have so much awareness about your situation and ahve not come on here looking for advice on how to snaffle him form under you friends nose!
a... (read in full...)
Vaginal intercourse doesn't do much for me..
Q. Alright guys. Simple question. I need tips. I can't have orgasms during sex. Clitoral orgasms are fine. My boyfriend is amazing at giving me those with his fingers, but penetrating does nothing? Advice?...
A. 29 April 2006: The majority of the nerve endings for the vaginal region are not actually in the vagina itself (can you imagine how much WORSE childbirth would be if they were?) They are on the outside round the clitoris and the labia. You are really not alone in ... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for a gay guy!!
Q. Hey, I just probably want to get it of my chest, and advice. For quite some time i've really had some strong feelings for a guy, one major problem his gay. I know why do this to myself! I've tried brushing it aside, brining logic into it- his gay ...
A. 29 April 2006: You have probably fallen for him as he is a totally NON-THREATENING MALE, me and my friends call them NTM's for short. You know the sort of guys you acn flirt with and mess around with without them thinking it automatically leads to sex. Or it ... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 29 April 2006: Good to know that you can give objective advice female anon below.....*insane freak like her mother is*. C'mon.... (read in full...)
I found out my daughter has been having sex since she was 11 !
Q. Iam worried about my 14 year old daughter Iam starting to think she maybe a nymphomaniac. I didnt know until recently that she was no longer virgin well after talking with her I now know that she is having sex everyday with her 18 year old boyfrien...
A. 29 April 2006: I do not believe this is a genuine question. One reason is, how did she afford a rampant rabbit and why would she as forward as to use it within obvious earshot of her mum or dad?
C'mon, please get a little more inventive.... (read in full...)
He abused me, we broke up and now I am going to give his ring back, but I want to tell him off good. Any good tips on what I should say?
Q. Hi there, I was hoping to find some advice for my problem...I was engaged before with this Muslim Egyptian guy, but he turned out to be controlling, possessive and emotionally abusive and I broke up with him. He now wants the engagment ring he gave ...
A. 29 April 2006: Keep the money from the ring and don't give him diddly! The ring was a gift.
Stand on your own two feet. If he keeps harrassing you or makes threats against you or suggests anything untoward will happen GET IN TOUCH WITH THE POLICE! The go live... (read in full...)
For the men: If you could cheat and get away with it... Would ya?
Q. just a question for the male's, if you could get away with it ,would you cheat on your girlfriend/wife?...
A. 28 April 2006: How did cheating question lead onto porn again?... (read in full...)
He don't ever say his emotions and don't listen to mine...
Q. i ave been with my boyfriend for a long time but he never tells me how he feels and doesnt listen to how i feel which causes us to argue what should i do?...
A. 27 April 2006: People have different personalities and different ways to deal with emotion. For example my hubby doesn't like to talk about how he is feeling, I on the other ahnd do. But my hubby is very demonstrative, buys me chox and flowers, sends cute text ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't really love her, why is he with her?
Q. I'm involved with a man that has 2 of us on the go! He is 36 I am 40 the other woman is 58, yes 58! He met me 4 months ago 5 weeks after his 9 year relationship with her ended,she ended it. Everything between him and I was totally fine untill she ...
A. 27 April 2006: You ahve a bit of an issue with her age. Are you another of this youth obsessed society we live in. Fancying someone sometimes goes deeper than the wrinkles on the surface you know!! Look at how you disparage the relationship so ofetn in your ... (read in full...)
How do I ask this (married) guy for his number?
Q. i work at a place that has a truck come deliever stuff to us once a week. im very attracted to this guy. but i found out that he won't be delivering anymore after next week. i want to ask him for his number but im way to shy and scared of what he ...
A. 27 April 2006: Sorry, but he is married. Do you not have standards of your own. Yes he flirts with you. So? Get some morals and leave it alone.....have some self-respect.... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a much older man. What should I do?
Q. Recently I found out that my 15-year-old daughter is is dating a 46-year-old man. She's not planning to marry him or anything; just dating him. However, the 31-year age gap makes me shiver; I fear that this guy is up to no good. How do I bro...
A. 27 April 2006: You dont broach the subject with her, she is 15. You tell her!! You ground her, stop her phone and keep her indoors. Then you get a grip of this dirty pervert and you warn him off. Get some guts and look out for your kid!!... (read in full...)
He's in jail because of me, but now I miss him!
Q. I am in a relationship that has lasted four years. my partner has been abusing me starting four months into the relationship. we have a two year old child. my partner has an alcohol addiction. I have had a restraining order since I was pregnant. ...
A. 27 April 2006: Forgot to add - he is not in jail because of you. His own despicable behaviour has put him there.... (read in full...)
He's in jail because of me, but now I miss him!
Q. I am in a relationship that has lasted four years. my partner has been abusing me starting four months into the relationship. we have a two year old child. my partner has an alcohol addiction. I have had a restraining order since I was pregnant. ...
A. 27 April 2006: Number one. Do not try to establish another relationship with another man before you are fully over this one. Number two. Do not even consider getting back with somebody who not only verbally and mentally abuses you but has a history of ... (read in full...)
Don't want to be a homewrecker, but I think I love my workmate..
Q. I am considering trying to start a relationship with someone I work with. We are both public officials in a small community who work together - but not in the same office. The only problem is that she is married with three kids and I'm not anxious ...
A. 27 April 2006: Fantasys are best kept inside the head!! Good luck napolean in keeping your libido in check.
:-)
xxx... (read in full...)
Guys, What is your views on your partner having male friends?
Q. question for the guys out there..if you were in a marriage or long term relationship how would you feel if your wife/partner was friends with other men? she would go out for the evening with them occassionally (on their own)when you didn't want to ...
A. 27 April 2006: Sorry forgot to add, that I put this question to my brothers and all of them said it wouldn't be/ isn't a problem if there partner has friends of the opposite sex. They are secure enough in themselves to see that friends come in all shapes and ... (read in full...)
Guys, What is your views on your partner having male friends?
Q. question for the guys out there..if you were in a marriage or long term relationship how would you feel if your wife/partner was friends with other men? she would go out for the evening with them occassionally (on their own)when you didn't want to ...
A. 27 April 2006: I have a variety of friends and have been with my husband for 8 years. I have male, female, old, younger, gay, straight, black, white, single, divorced, physically disabled and able-bodied friends. I did not give any of them up when I met my ... (read in full...)
Is it really possible to have sex with someone by mistake? Do I believe this excuse?
Q. Okay this may seem like a stupid question but I need to hear some other peoples opinions. Is it really possible to have sex with someone by mistake? Recently I found out my girlfriend slept with my best mate 6 months ago. They both say it was a ...
A. 27 April 2006: You amy be able to develop trust in one or other of these two people if you chose one of them to remain friends with. But forget about trying to rescue both relationships. Think about it, you would NEVER be able to trust either of them around each ... (read in full...)
My sister in law is obbsessed with my husband and now im attraced to her husband. What should I do??
Q. Hi: I am a married woman wih an 18 month old daughter. I am pretty unhappy in my marriage in large part due to my overbearing know-no-boundaries inlaws, especially my sister in law. She is obsessed with her brother, my husband. As a conseque...
A. 27 April 2006: You seem to have two issues here that need dealing with seperately.
The *thing you have for your BiL, is this a *tit-for-tat* of thing do you think? Or could it just be that unconciously you ahve developed a crush on this guy as a way of 'get... (read in full...)
Should I see my doctor about vaginal fluid?
Q. Hello Well I'm 13 14 in 2 weeks well i have been gettin discharge a really creamy white one when ive just cum off my period its not as bad but a week after me coming off my period it cums back like loadz it fills the crutch of my thong id this str...
A. 27 April 2006: No honey this is completely normal. Vaginal secretions differ according to where you are in your mentstrual cyle. If you are not itchy or the discharge doesn't have an offensive odour then you ahve nothing to worry about.
If this doesn't reas... (read in full...)
Is it lipstick on my bfs collar??
Q. Has anyone ever found lipstick or something suspicious on their b/f's/husband's collar? Recently when my boyfriend and I of a year were lying down I saw this straight line that was about half an inch long on the lower collar of his shirt but it did ...
A. 26 April 2006: Without being able to chemically test it and without a confession nobody can actually tell you what it is lurking on your bf's collar. I suggest that if it is and he is not giving you any cause for concern it could have been somebody kissing him ... (read in full...)
He kept me at arms length. Is that right??
Q. I recently got back with an ex. However, i found that he was not making plans with me for the weekend, was coming over once a week without staying, even then he wouldnt plan this in advance. I dumped him soon after.can anyone tell me if they thi...
A. 26 April 2006: I think you did the right thing. Personally I would have questioned whether he was seeing somebody else as well, because when you egt back with somebody you are excited and want to spend time with them......the fact he wasn't commiting to you sort ... (read in full...)
Is his soapy smell the sign of an affair!?
Q. I stayed over my b'f's place. The next night after work--he was going to pick me up again and he never changes his clothes after work because he gets to wear jeans and only changes if we are going some place nice. He was home for a few hours but but ...
A. 26 April 2006: I think you may just be seein something here that isn't really real. Chances are his jeans were to tight and he knew he was getting a BJ and had a wash. Have there been any other signs that you are not telling about yet?... (read in full...)
He's thinking about our future and I may be overreacting!
Q. My bf and I today were hanging over his house and he was going to eat some ham and asked me, because he knows it's against my religion to eat pork, if we ever happened to live together in the future would he be able to eat ham and I was just shocked ...
A. 25 April 2006: Honey, this is a good sign from him because he obviously sees your relationship as having some potential to go the distance. Chances are he was just being hypothetical. I dont think this question means he is going to propose anytime soon so stop ... (read in full...)
I need space from my girlfriend AND there may be someone else!
Q. So, I need a little bit of advice...hope you can help!!! I've been with my girlfriend for 5 1/2 years (i'm 25 and she's 22) and we've started to buy a house (nothing official yet) but i've come to realise that i might not be able to live with her...
A. 25 April 2006: Get out now. These doubts have started to surface for a reason and do you want to be stuck with a mortgage AND a gf you really don't love very much or respect either from what you are saying.
Leave and do the decent thing before you move on to the ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated on me, should I stay or leave?
Q. my boyfriend cheated on me one time, but he has a baby by the girl. we've been together for almost 4 years, should i leave him or stay and make it work?...
A. 25 April 2006: One time - so he says! Can you prove it was only the one time? More to the point can he prove it. Not to mention this child, how will you live with knowing he has fathered a child with another person whilst he is with you? I know I couldn't.
Y... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair??
Q. I met a man at work when he came from an agency to cover shifts, we went for a drink after work and had a kiss in his car the only thing is he's married and wants us to have an affair. Should i because i don't want anyone full time and it would su...
A. 25 April 2006: Yes but they probably will not come on here and ask for approval will they?... (read in full...)
He's got porn and videos of me and him-and-me... But now I find a porno mag of his and I'm steaming!
Q. Okay, I have been having this terrible dilema with my boyfriend for some time now. I, personally, am against pornography, and he is not. A while ago, I asked him to get rid of the porn, he did, and I was happy. Just recently, though, I found a ...
A. 25 April 2006: I would like to see the evidence that proves pornography leads to unfaithfullness. That is like saying drinking grape juice will lead to being an alcoholic!!... (read in full...)
Does he spend too much time with the mother of his children>
Q. I think I made a major mistake. I sent my boyfriend a email explaining to him how I think his relationship with his Ex, whom he has 2 children with, is inappropriate. I told him that it makes me uncomfortable when he does things with her and the ...
A. 25 April 2006: Your insecurities are ruining what was a perfectly amicable relationship between two people who have the interests of the most important people in all this at heart. THE CHILDREN!
This should not be about your opinions or your feelings and quit... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but he's telling everyone we had sex!
Q. I am 14 years old and my ex boyfriend is telling all his friends that I had sex with him but I didn't!!! I am still a virgin and planning on being one for a long time because I think losing your virignity is a big thing. But everyone thinks I'm a ...
A. 25 April 2006: I had EXACTLY the same problem as this at exactly the same age as you. Even my own friends didn't believe me the rumours were so rife.
I confronted the guy when he was with his mates and asked him straight out 'why are you telling everyone we had ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about why's he's still married to his wife?
Q. I have been with my partner for almost a year and we live together. He has been seperated from his wife for 3 years, but is not yet divorced. He says its a matter of money but I think he could afford it if he really wanted to. He has 3 kids and I ...
A. 25 April 2006: His wife cannot change the children's surname without permission as regardless of whether they are married or divorced he is the father and has half the parental rights, tell him to seek legal advice on this if she threatens it again.
As for divo... (read in full...)
We broke up and he tells me I am too large for sex. Should I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend and I just broke up.. It's kinda a long story so I won't get into it. Part of our problem was sexual. He started by saying that I am super hot..the hottest girl he has ever been with. He would watch me in the shower, masterbate while ...
A. 25 April 2006: Sounds like this guy was compensating for his own inadequacies. Don't take what he said to heart. After all didn't you think that he *must have been smaller* when you first had sex? AND you didn't throw that in his face - makes you the nicer ... (read in full...)
I like to smell myself, is this normal and why do I do this?
Q. hello, this isnt really a "problem" exactly, i was just wondering why i do this. ever since i was little, i've smelled the crotch of my panties. i dont know why i do this, but i do it almost every time i sit down to pee. its habit, but i also like ...
A. 25 April 2006: Why would you consider it a problem. If you do it, it harms nobody else AND doesn't harm you then why worry? Yes, it can be considered *slightly strange* as it is a taboo subject that not many people would discuss, but hey....don't discuss it in ... (read in full...)
I get on so well with my professor... What should I do?
Q. Hello, I have a genuine liking for one of my professors. She is a psychology professor and we have SO MUCH in common. We like the same colors, we wear the same colored clothing (alot of black and brown and dark green), we eat the same foods, we have ...
A. 25 April 2006: This superficiality of what you claim is *being alike* leads me to think that this is just a crush and something you will get over. If you stay out of her orbit whenever you can, do not go to her office for *private chats* and treat her with the ... (read in full...)
Don't want to be a homewrecker, but I think I love my workmate..
Q. I am considering trying to start a relationship with someone I work with. We are both public officials in a small community who work together - but not in the same office. The only problem is that she is married with three kids and I'm not anxious ...
A. 24 April 2006: You want to have sex with her.
PERIOD!!
If you want sex go find yourself someone free to play your games, don't destroy a marriage.... (read in full...)
My sister in law was seen kissing another man, do I tell my brother?
Q. My stepdaughter saw my sister in law romantically kissing a man at a local bar. My question is do i tell my brother or do i let him figure it out himself...
A. 24 April 2006: Firstly you do nothing on the word of another person. She could have been mistaken, yes she says she wasn't but believe me if she was you will be ostracised from your family.
Secondly you approach your sister-in-law and tell her what your step... (read in full...)
Am I really too old to have another child?
Q. I am 40 this year and would like to have another child, my husband would too. We already have 3 children, we are self employed and able to financially afford another child. My problem is that people close to me say I'm too old now and am being se...
A. 24 April 2006: Hi there
Don't let the doom-mongers amongst us put you off the joy of adding to your family!
I am 35 and hoping to have a second child, age is a physical fact as I rish said, but it can also just be considered a number too! As long as you are youn... (read in full...)
How can I get his sister to give us some space?
Q. OMG..My boyfriend and I had just moved into a place. I know him and his family are really close especially him and his sister..but the problem is, is shes almost over at my house everyday! I moved out of my home to get some space and it doesn't feel ...
A. 24 April 2006: You dont say how old she is?... (read in full...)
I am having an affair but he is shy!!
Q. I'm having a affair with a married man,we have only kissed and cuddled though,he has said he wants sex with me,the thing is he turns me on then just walks,whats going on is he shy as he hasnt been with many women,is he feeling guilty to his wife.or ...
A. 24 April 2006: Back off. This guy is married and reeling you in like a fish on a line. He is making you desperate for him and then he has you!
Leave him alone and let his wife have her husband back. There are many single and unatatched men out there. Coul... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 27 February 2006: This is something you must overcome if you want to continue to have a place in your mans heart. For heaven's sake his daughter is SIX YEARS OLD!! She is not even aware she has to be in competition with her Daddy's new partner yet! And it is also ... (read in full...)
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