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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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What should I do about his awful idea to move in with him at this terrible hotel?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 years is working out of state and living in a Dump of a hotel because that is the only place available..He is in the Katrina Hurricane area of Louisiana USA..Well long story short he wants me and our son who is in Kindergarten to ...
A. 15 February 2006: I thnk the need to care for your child is the most important thing here. And as a mother, if you feel uneasy or unsure about whether to move to this area then go with your instincts. This could create trouble in your marriage, but after all you ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend back?
Q. Does anyone out there have any tips on how to get a boyfriend back? Things to say etc . . . I am gay and 33 and have just split from my boyfriend who is 21 after six months. Things were going swimmingly well until recently when he has had loads of...
A. 15 February 2006: Ease up on the pressure then. I am not syaing that you ARE pressuring him, just that is how your poor BF sees things at the moment. I think everything that is getting on top of him is out of his control and your relationship is the one thing he ... (read in full...)
Is this post-natal depression, or something else?
Q. This isn't really about relationships as such. I think I may be suffering from post natal depression. Are there any signs I should be looking out for? I got really bad baby blues when my baby was 4 days old. I wanted my partner with me but he was ...
A. 15 February 2006: Jesus
You really have been thru the wars and my heart goes out to you. I fully understand you have issues with medicines due to what you have witnessed and what you ahve been thru.
But I can only speak from experience and I can honestly say that... (read in full...)
Found the "shirtless" photos of my "shy" online guy on another website under a different name!
Q. Ok this isn't a serious problem but I would just like some thoughts. About two months ago I met this guy on the internet. We became really close. We would send pics of ourselves to eachother etc..and just talk about things we did that day. Well one ...
A. 15 February 2006: You are not being weird about this and yes you have been betrayed. So give yourslef a chance to get over this and sack this toxic git off!... (read in full...)
Is this post-natal depression, or something else?
Q. This isn't really about relationships as such. I think I may be suffering from post natal depression. Are there any signs I should be looking out for? I got really bad baby blues when my baby was 4 days old. I wanted my partner with me but he was ...
A. 15 February 2006: If you are truely clinically depressed then antidepressants can really help. St John's wort has shown some good results in tests, but is also a from of anti d too, and it has been shown to work for some people - although it didn't for me.
The side... (read in full...)
My best friend never went after the guy we both like and is annoyed because I finally want to!
Q. Sorry this is so long!!!! My best friend and I like the same guy. Have done for ages. When I found out she liked him there was a lot going on in her life and so I didn't want to add to her troubles and decided she could "have" him, so to speak...
A. 15 February 2006: She sounds like abit of a control freak does your friend!
Go for the guy you want to and ignore her behaviour, she cannot have every man she sees...
And anyway, do none of these fellas actually get any say in this?
Good luck, and chose wisely... (read in full...)
The phone calls and texts have stopped but is he still continuing his affair?
Q. I believe my husband has been seing someone else. We have been married for 8 years and have a 5 year old daughter. Thing is For the past 4 months his bills have been showing that he has been texting her on average 30-50 times a day from morning to ...
A. 15 February 2006: His relationship with you should come first. Look at whether you really want your marriage to continue then issue him with an ultimatum - you or her. Be prepared to follow it thru.
I always feel an emotional connection is 100% worse than a sexu... (read in full...)
Drunkenly kissing a workmate was a big mistake... Do I have to tell my girlfriend about the indescretion?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I love her a lot, and I know she loves me back. She's away at uni now, and I get to see her about once a month. Recently our time together has been difficult and we came close to splitting up a couple o...
A. 15 February 2006: I think you have beaten yourself up enough over this with the worry and stress. You were going thru a bad patch and you *drunkenly* kissed someone else. You made a mistake. Learn to live with it, forget about it and consign it to the past.
I... (read in full...)
Is 3 years too much difference?
Q. Hi.. I have just realized that a guy likes me that is 3 years younger than me. I am 21 and he is 18.. He is a friend of my friends, and my friend said that he is really mature for his age. We have totally hit it off, and are kinda dating now. I g...
A. 15 February 2006: My hubby is 5 years younger than me and he was 23 when we met. Everyone said it wont last because he was so young and I was at *that age* were I allegedly wanted to settle down!! He is the more mature out of the two of us. 'nuff said!
This isnt... (read in full...)
Pregnancy question...
Q. Ok, i have a quick question thats important to me. Can you still be pregnant even though u have ur period, does it matter if it's late or what???????...
A. 15 February 2006: If you ahve an inkling you may be pregnant try atest. Yes you can still be pregnant even if you continue to have periods although it is relatively rare.
You can also have something called an implantation bleed when the fertilised ovum impl... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of stretch marks?
Q. Im expecting at the moment, and i have a one year old. So my stomache is coverd in stretch marks and its maing me feel really un sexy for my long term partner. I wanted to know if there is any women that have the same problem or is there anyone that ...
A. 15 February 2006: Stretch marks can be a pain. But they fade to little silvery line eventually. Try bio-oil, it makes your skin smoother which may improve there appearance. But I think more women have them than not (and I mean women, not skinny teenagers!) and ... (read in full...)
He's not the "best boyfriend" because I know he cheated. So do I get him the trophy anyway?
Q. So its Valentine's Day, and I've never really done anything special for my significant other. This year I thought of a really cute idea for my boyfriend but I'm not sure if its 100% sincere. I want to get him this Best Boyfriend Trophy but I don't ...
A. 15 February 2006: Has his behaviour improved since? Has he behaved in an exemplary manner and does he treat you properly now. Then get it!
If it is gonna p**s you off all the time, dont. You will just make yourself miserable.... (read in full...)
I want our troubled marriage to work, but am I a glutton for punishment?
Q. In December 05 my husband told me he was unhappy and not sure if he loved anymore. January 06 I found phone calls to another woman. Approached him and he told me that are just friends. I kicked him out, but recently told him if he wanted to make ...
A. 15 February 2006: The welfare of your child in this situation is the most important thing, so you need to keep things stable for them.
Next, it would appear that your husband has been/is having an affair as there is no other explanation for his behaviour that you ... (read in full...)
Said he'd call me back in 20 minutes, but it's been 2 days. I'm disappointed...
Q. I've been seeing this younger guy who's been pursuing me and it turns out I really like him. Well the night before last he calls me like he's been and was distracted by a family member and said he call me back in 20 minutes, but didn't. I let it g...
A. 15 February 2006: This is a hard one. Chances are (and this is what I would believe in this case, and from the information you ahve given), that he has got cold feet and bottled it. You have left a message so the ball is now firmly in his court. Dont ring him ... (read in full...)
Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?
Q. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?...
A. 13 February 2006: No problem rebecca, but keep your answers directed at the questioner and not at other people's advice, I think that would be a little more fair dontcha think
:-)... (read in full...)
Sex is a problem because I was raped...what can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem and I really need some advice. I am a lesbian and I am going out with my girlfriend six months now and things are great except sexually. I was raped six years ago now and everyime she touches me I kinda seize up. Is t...
A. 13 February 2006: Sweetheart
You need professional counselling to get you thru this. I will tell you it works from personal experience, and also because I am a survivor of rape like you.
Go, get help, and start to live your life again.
Good luck and hugs.xx... (read in full...)
Does sex hurt...
Q. does sex hurt?...
A. 13 February 2006: It shouldn't do.
If it does then you are probably not aroused enough and need to get your partner to spend more time on foreplay before you have penetrative sex.... (read in full...)
Does casual sex equal loose morals?
Q. If all you want is sex when you go out and nothing more, does that mean you have loose morals? Male or female? Does just wanting a s**g with the opposite sex show a lack of self respect? Should they even respect you when all you want to do is screw ...
A. 13 February 2006: No, I don't believe it does. Unfortunately there are other agony aunts on here that spend there time pulling other peoples opinions to pieces but hey, you asked for an opinion.
I believe if you are honest with yourself about why you are just want... (read in full...)
Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?
Q. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?...
A. 13 February 2006: That was, by the way meant to say LOOSE MORALS, whoops... (read in full...)
Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?
Q. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?...
A. 13 February 2006: There are certain agony aunts on here who equate having the courage to do what you want (ie have casual sex with an ex if you so chose) to being of loose marals and *dare I say it* having low self esteem.
Fortunately I am not one of them, and to b... (read in full...)
Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?
Q. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea?...
A. 13 February 2006: Yes if you can distance yourself from the fact you are probablu only going to ever have sex with him! If it is to scratch an itch go for it.
But remember that he is an ex for a reason.....probably best if you keep it that way!
Good luck x... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend too needy, or is it me?
Q. I have been going out with this girl for almost a year now but I think she is becoming a bit possessive. To give a specific example, towards the end of this week I spent Thursday and Friday night with her and Saturday morning. On Saturday...
A. 13 February 2006: I think she sounds more selfish than needy - what sort of girl would get a gob on because her BF went to visit an injured friend in hospital? Is anyone else missing the point here, it's not even like he went out with his mates!!
I am a thro... (read in full...)
Walked in on my husband with the Page Three girl and I need reassurance that all men do this...
Q. I know all men masturbate and have had numerous conversations with my Partner about this, he always said he never did it if I was in the house. Recently I was still quite sleepy so he got up to have a shower. I decided to get up shortly after and ...
A. 13 February 2006: yes this is normal. Please stop worrying....
Maybe a lot of blokes don't use the printed picture but I would state that nearly all men mastubate. And nearly all men use the images in their head. It is a simple biological release.
Please dont let... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend out if she's pregnant or not?
Q. I have a friend that is taking the pregnancy test and she still has no answer how can i help her? ...
A. 13 February 2006: Home pregnancy tests can sometimes give you a false negative result, as they are not sensitive enough. But they NEVER give a false positive.
Go to your GP or family planning clinic with your friend and support her whatever the outcome. There are ... (read in full...)
Divorcing my husband because of his drug use. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I recently found out my husband is on meth. I'm in the process of divorcing him. We have a child together, so he gets supervised visitation, at which time he often tells me he misses me and still loves me. Even though I have no intentions of ...
A. 13 February 2006: You have to live with the decision you have made.
But make sure you made that decision with all the FACTS in front of you.
Above all remember that your child is the most important thing. I think that this isn't a problem for you tho, cos I think ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents that I think I might be bisexual?
Q. hiya, I'm 15 and a lil confused. I'm not really sure, but I think I maybe bi-curious. It may just be a phase I'm going through? Should I tell my parents or keep it to myself until I'm totally sure? Thank you x...
A. 13 February 2006: I think you are all slightly underestimating the parents on this one!
Why encourage a kid not to confide in their parents if they have a *problem or even a dilemma like this? Not everyone has parents who are idiots, some people have parents who ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents that I think I might be bisexual?
Q. hiya, I'm 15 and a lil confused. I'm not really sure, but I think I maybe bi-curious. It may just be a phase I'm going through? Should I tell my parents or keep it to myself until I'm totally sure? Thank you x...
A. 12 February 2006: Why not have a chat with your parents, if you are lucky enough to have parents who are open minded enough to sit and talk to you about your sexuality.
They may have some valuable advice to give you, as well as being able to support you thru any prob... (read in full...)
Do spells work?
Q. Does anyone think spells actually work? I mean like voodoo or witches spells? Just curious....
A. 12 February 2006: Each to there own, there is more out there than mere science can explain. Keep an open mind. x... (read in full...)
My wife hates the idea of my close female friend. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help me solve a problem with my wife. I have a married female coworker who I have become friends with. We talk on the phone daily as we are not always assigned to the same location. She sends emails and pictures to me a...
A. 12 February 2006: Put your wife first.
Get a new job.
Would you act the same way with a male "friend", you know, feel the need to talk to him on the phone every day?
Chances are the answer is no.
Your wife should come first, so stop kidding yourself.... (read in full...)
Do I go back to the woman who stabbed me in the chest? I've fallen for her again!
Q. Hi, I meet a girl four years ago and we was going out for the 1st two years and was really happy. I moved in with her and her 10 year old daughter, and my two kids stayed at the weekend.Two years ago on Boxing day we had a party and both got drun...
A. 12 February 2006: Only have one piece of advice for you, which has stood me in good stead after I came out of an abusive relationship....
ONCE A VICTIM, TWICE A VOLUNTEER.....
Read it and then think about the advice you would give to somebody else in your position... (read in full...)
The threesome with my husband was a total mistake... I just don't know how to fix it!
Q. My husband wouldn't touch me after I had our son. So, after trying everything I could think of, I agreed to his request of a threesome with another man. Now I am completely destroyed. What was I thinking? That is not a choice I would have ever ...
A. 12 February 2006: This is a case of trying to get over the past. I am not being flippant when I tell you that this is the past and unfortunately we cannot change the past.
Obviously your husband is very uneffected by this, but by the sound of things this is insi... (read in full...)
Does he care?
Q. Can you tell me if this is the way a caring partner should be. I had been looking forward to going out all week but last night it went wrong. We went to pick up a friend and I felt unwell so we had to get the taxi to take me home. My boyfrien...
A. 12 February 2006: Like I say you asked for advice. You asked what people thought. I told you what I thought, that I thought was the point of this exercise! Not everybody has the same thought patterns, opinions and processes as you. I am very sorry if I view ... (read in full...)
Does he care?
Q. Can you tell me if this is the way a caring partner should be. I had been looking forward to going out all week but last night it went wrong. We went to pick up a friend and I felt unwell so we had to get the taxi to take me home. My boyfrien...
A. 11 February 2006: Yes I do know what anxiety is, I have researched it - part of my job, and I have suffered with it and panic attacks and been treated for them. So I am allowed to make my point, if you think it is invalid then that is your opinion. There is no need ... (read in full...)
Does he care?
Q. Can you tell me if this is the way a caring partner should be. I had been looking forward to going out all week but last night it went wrong. We went to pick up a friend and I felt unwell so we had to get the taxi to take me home. My boyfrien...
A. 11 February 2006: You say you suffer with anxiety - you need to look into getting this problem sorted out as it is obviously spoiling your enjoyment of life. You say he yelled at you and threatened you - how? Did he threaten physical violence, if so dump him. Did ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I have acne, am short and feel like the only single girl at school...
Q. Dear Cupid, I have lots of acne on my,and I'm short too and my friends always mock at me and called me names. I'm 14 this year. I have difficulty looking for a boyfriend, and i wanted to have a boyfriend who loves me for who...
A. 11 February 2006: You need to confide in an adult about how you feel, your Mum maybe and get her to go with you to your GP and he can advise you about what to use to control you acne.
The BF thing. I think maybe you are trying to hard. This will happen in it's own ... (read in full...)
Is this post-natal depression, or something else?
Q. This isn't really about relationships as such. I think I may be suffering from post natal depression. Are there any signs I should be looking out for? I got really bad baby blues when my baby was 4 days old. I wanted my partner with me but he was ...
A. 11 February 2006: I suffered with quite serious post-natal depression after the birth of my son and it didn't start to kick in until he was 3 months old.
My life felt pointless, I would look at my son and cry and think my life was over. I felt fat and frumpy and ... (read in full...)
How can we tell her that her breath smells?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, I was wondering if you could give me advice on my friends bad breath? It smells really bad and whenever she breaths in mine or my friends direction, we can't help but look away and it feels really rude. How can we tell her that her ...
A. 11 February 2006: You have to bite the bullet and tell her. Sit her down and tell her that sometimes you ahve noticed that her breath smells a little. Explain you are telling her this precisely because you are her friends and you don't want her to find out by ... (read in full...)
Do good girls really finish last???
Q. I asked about whether my partner cared when he went out and didn't come home till 3am in the morning, drunk. I had gone home because of not feeling well and hoped he would be at least a little concerned and come home a little earlier. This didn't ...
A. 11 February 2006: It is not being selfish to put your needs first. But it is also not selfish for a partner to stay out if the other person has given permission for them to finish off a night out. After all, if I have been ill on a night out I would not expect my ... (read in full...)
Do spells work?
Q. Does anyone think spells actually work? I mean like voodoo or witches spells? Just curious....
A. 11 February 2006: Yes I do think spells can work. I also think that it is not something that should be messed with until you fully understand what you a doing.
Curses and hexes can come back to haunt you if you use these things to try to do harm to others.
Be sa... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm going to wet myself
Q. I know this may sound strange but anyway; I am a 21year old girl only recently had my first boyfriend. When we start to mess around in bed I get aroused, but then just as he is about to enter me I feel like I am gonna wet myself. Im scared this will ...
A. 11 February 2006: Yes this can be normal. And no, chances are you are not going to wet yourself. This is just a feeling that can happen when you get very aroused. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it is by no means rare and you will probably get a few people on ... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone...what can we do?
Q. My other-halfs ex cannot get over the breakup and we dont know what to do! Its more complicated as they have a baby who is now 4months old. They broke up before the baby was born. The ex cannot accept that they are no longer together. After ...
A. 10 February 2006: she wont be able to see her behaviour is so awful precisely because this woman is diturbed.
I feel that the child is the most important thing here. If your partner really wants to see it then you need for him to move out in the short tima to be a... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone...what can we do?
Q. My other-halfs ex cannot get over the breakup and we dont know what to do! Its more complicated as they have a baby who is now 4months old. They broke up before the baby was born. The ex cannot accept that they are no longer together. After ...
A. 9 February 2006: You need to start reporting this to the police so if it escalates they can build a case against her. if you OH wants to see his child he needs to set the wheels in motion now so if it goes thru leagl channels the child is not too old before he ... (read in full...)
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