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... Send *atron a private message | | *atron's profile:Hi, i feel that my life has been a bit of a Roller Coaster but i've come through it all older and a lot wiser. If i can help just one person feel better about themselves and then look at their lives with a clearer view to allow them to find the answer, i'll be satisfied. I beleive we all have the answers to our problems but we just need reassurance and a gentle nudge to follow through our own instincts.If you think i may be able to help give me a go, you've got nothing to lose.X |
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Should I tell her that I now find her very arrogant!?
Q. A year ago I moved in with an old friend. We used to get on really well. Recently I have experienced some very negative feelings towards her. Sometimes these feelings can be quite nasty. Recently she seems to have become very self absorbed and can ...
A. 4 July 2006: Some people just drift apart after awhile,it's as though you grow in different directions, you also find that when you actually live with someone they dont turn out to be the person you thought they were.
That didn't appear to make much sense, what... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but I know I'M the right one for him...what can I do?
Q. I'm a 15 year old girl and i'm inlove with a guy who's 17 but his dating someone else,him and i have had a fling but then i started dating another guy for a while until i found out i'm madly inlove with the above mentioned guy!I really want him and ...
A. 30 June 2006: He obviously thinks that she is right for him or he wouldn't be with her,i doubt he thinks you are the right one for him otherwise when he had the fling with you he would have stuck with you, sorry to sound harsh but i would rather be honest with ... (read in full...)
We have been struggling for a while now, he says hes had enough and wont give it another shot, but I know it can work!!
Q. Hi ppl, me and my bf were together for 11 months. we vowed to stay together forever no matter wot problems occured. we had been engaged for the last six months. things have been quite hard between us recently and we were constantly arguing! But now ...
A. 30 June 2006: Sounds like he felt he'd tried for too long to make a go of it and got fed up with it all as it didn't seem to work anymore. You obviously regret all the arguements and looking back most of them were probably needless, but looking back wont help the ... (read in full...)
It was a fictious story about me and she found out....then I got mad...what should I do?
Q. Hi.. probably a very silly question: I had a relationship this wonderful girl a few years back - lets call her L - she had to move to London to continue her studies and my career kept me here. We always kept in touch - I have always been inte...
A. 30 June 2006: Get in touch with her..sober.. and explain the situation clearly, tell her how you feel about her and take it from there. Dont leave things as they are if you feel you have a chance with her, lifes to short to put things like this on hold. Never ... (read in full...)
My insecurities have driven her away!!
Q. Hi, I am having some serious relationship problems with my girlfriend. I have been with her for nearly 18 months now and I love her deeply. The problem seems to be my insecurities, I have never really been particularly lucky in love, I put in m...
A. 30 June 2006: Then listen to what she is telling you, dont let your imagination get the better of you and enjoy the relationship.
Dont ever try to tell your g/f negative things about her ex cause if she's still got a good relationship with him (which is good for ... (read in full...)
What is the difference between someone who "loves" you and someone who's "in love"... ?
Q. Hi, I know some people have asked this question before, but I just need some clarity, what exactly does it mean when someone "loves you", as apposed to someone not being "in love with you"? whats the difference which is more important, which hurts ...
A. 30 June 2006: When you love someone,parents, friends etc you care deeply for them, love being around them, support and respect them and look out for them. When you are 'in love' with someone your world revolves around your relationship with that person, you get ... (read in full...)
My family accuses me of stealing money from them...why do they do this?
Q. My family accuses me of stealing money from them...First, my mom then my sister....My mom had 100 dollars stole from her and now my sister had money come up missing. She blamed it on me because she left her purse on the front porch..... That would ...
A. 30 June 2006: Have you ever stolen from them or anyone else in the past? cause that may be the reason they continue to point the finger at you, if you havent then you really need to ask your family why they continually accuse you of stealing from them and make ... (read in full...)
My bf said I wasn't as good a kisser as his ex gf's...help, need kissing tips!
Q. Hiya, Me and my boyfriend have been going out quite a while, but haven't got any further than french kissing. However, my other friend, a boy, told me that my boyfriend had told him that I wasnt as good a kisser as his other previous girlfrie...
A. 30 June 2006: Dont listen to anyone, you've been together awhile and he hasn't given up on you so you must be doing something right.
There's no right or wrong way to kiss and no one can really tell you how to do it, it kind of comes natural while you're doin... (read in full...)
My fiancee cheated on me, wanted us to stay together but I said "no way". Now she's crushingly happy with this guy...
Q. Hi, just trying to find answers. My ex fiancee cheated on me with another guy. When she finally told me, she told me she loved me and wanted me to forgive her but she was also in love with him and didn't want to give him up at least as a friend. I ...
A. 30 June 2006: She's not worth the heartache, how could she tell you she was in love with you and him, talk about want your cake and eat it!
She may be putting on an act to make you think she's not bothered about you not havin her back. Ignore her let her get on w... (read in full...)
I know he talks to his ex..but I'm afraid to confront him
Q. my bf and i have been together for a year and are quite serious. however, from the beginning of the relationship he has always been in contact with his ex gf. recently i told him that i dont feel comfortable and secure with his 'friendship' with his ...
A. 30 June 2006: Hi, how do you know he answers her calls when you aren't around? If you've been together for a year and they have always been in touch why is it only now that you feel insecure with it?
The truth is, that if he has a good friendship with his ex the ... (read in full...)
I don't want my mate telling everyone that we used to kiss! We're both girls!
Q. heya. I'm 14 and i dont know what to do. A few years ago me and my mate started kissing round at her house. We did it regularly when I went to her house. We were 12. Now we go to the same school and are not mates anymore (just grown apart really) ...
A. 25 June 2006: I did exactly the same thing, i think a lot of girls do but its only a few who admit it. It's all a part of growing up, discovering our bodies and feelings.
She is probably thinking the same as you otherwise she would have mentioned it by now. When... (read in full...)
Confused about my sexuality (long post)
Q. Right I'm having a problem, and I've tried hard to ignore it for my sake and for my families sake, and ESPECIALLY my parents. but I'm afraid it's not changing. This might be long so please bare with me, I need to get this off my chest. I'm singl...
A. 25 June 2006: Your family and freinds love you and although it may be hard at first they would still love and respect you, those that are true freinds that is. those that decide they dont agree with who you truly are are really not worth bothering with. Your ... (read in full...)
Breaking up with my ex has been so very hard to do!
Q. I feel like a puppy that has lost his best friend and is walking around with my tail between my legs. I've written several times before pertaining to a suprise breakup with my ex (the bi-gay story),thank you all for your support and I know some ...
A. 25 June 2006: The reason this is so hard for you is because like you said you have no-one to share this with, most people have someone they can turn to and winge at day in day out until they get it all off their chest and are able to move on.
You feel bitter beca... (read in full...)
Do I say something about how I feel to the girl who jokes that we're lesbian lovers?
Q. Just please help me. Yes I have typed this many many times but the answers I have got aren't helping! This girl I like, we are both girls, she recently made a couple of jokes about me being a lesbian and she is my girlfriend. I used to really ...
A. 25 June 2006: Thats because you dont know where you stand with her, you dont know if she seriously fancies you or just joking about, does she know that you are gay? is she gay? you both need to sit down and seriously talk about the way you both feel, then you can ... (read in full...)
Not sure i'm ready for a lesbian relationship, how to let my gf down?
Q. I'm really confused, I'm 16 and my girlfriend she lives about 3 hours away from me and I really really like this guy who only lives 3 minutes away. I know this sounds stupid but is it wrong to want a relationship with someone you can see nearly ...
A. 25 June 2006: Be honest with yourself and your g/f. Explain that you are a little confused at the moment and dont want to hurt her any more than you have to but you aren't ready for a serious relationship and the reason you know this is because you are attracted ... (read in full...)
I made a really bad call with the girl I love! Help!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am bi which many ppl dont like but I fell in love with this girl. We dated for five months then I, stupidly, broke up with her. Now I miss her alot but she has another girlfriend. She says she still loves me and I know I still love her...
A. 25 June 2006: If she says this girl is just a rebound, then ask her to give it another go, explain why you finished it and that you realised you loved her after you felt it was too late. Dont give up on her it sounds like there is a good chance that you can work ... (read in full...)
My gay friend is getting married and I feel bad about it
Q. Hi this isn't a relationship problem but I'm desperate for help.My best friend of 20 years has suddenly decided she is gay, I have no problem with that.But now she and her partner are having a civil ceremony (marriage?) I got an evening invite and I ...
A. 25 June 2006: Your friend hasn't changed she's at last being the true her! You dont suddenly decide you are gay, she's probably known for years but society and lack of confidence have made her live a lie bless her.
She is your mate, respect her for who she is, ... (read in full...)
I text and ask girls out, but they don't reply! Where am I going wrong?
Q. I have recently found a couple of girls I like. They are nice to me when I see them, but If I text them and ask whether they'd like to meet and do something like go to town or the cinema they just don't reply. For example a msg might read "hey, ju...
A. 25 June 2006: Ask them face to face and see what happens then. They may not think you are being serious, they wont be able to ignore you so easily and will hopefully give you a chance or atleast tell you why they dont want to.
Dont give up trying but do do it f... (read in full...)
This counsellor isn't helping our marital problems, so would choosing another one help?
Q. My wife and I are seperated, but going to counselling to try to sort things out. She has found the last two sessions very upsetting, and will not go back to that counsellor. The upsets are more to do with herself,(ie how she sees things/reacts to ...
A. 25 June 2006: Hi i think that getting upset is part of the process of facing problems and the next step is learning how to deal with them. It sounds like you are heading in the right direction although your wife obviously doesn't, but dont give up on this ... (read in full...)
Anyone have saving tips?
Q. Does anyone have any tips for saving money each week? I'd love to save for a super two-week holiday but find it really hard to put any aside......
A. 25 June 2006: Iagree with irish49 have a direct debit set up with your bank so that so much each month is transferred to a savings account no matter how small it all adds up. After a while you will forget about it once you manage a couple of months without it it ... (read in full...)
Are there advantages of buying over renting? What?
Q. What are the advantages of buying a house over renting a place? Any? Which will cost more in the long-run?...
A. 25 June 2006: At the moment to privately rent property is probably as expensive as buying but if you buy you know that what ever you do to the property you will reap the benefits and rewards and wont be given notice to leave, unless you default with re-payments ... (read in full...)
Do I pursue my ex-pupil?
Q. I'm a 34 year old female teacher... Last year I had a relationship with an ex pupil (who was 17 at the time) We had a beautiful relationship for an entire year until her parents found out and all hell broke loose. I put my hands up to the blame and ...
A. 24 June 2006: Just read my reply to you, sorry if it sounded hard hearted i sincerely do wish you happiness in the future x... (read in full...)
Do I pursue my ex-pupil?
Q. I'm a 34 year old female teacher... Last year I had a relationship with an ex pupil (who was 17 at the time) We had a beautiful relationship for an entire year until her parents found out and all hell broke loose. I put my hands up to the blame and ...
A. 24 June 2006: Face it she has moved on and doesn't need you in her life anymore. You obviously were serious about the relationship where as she wasn't, she probably thought she was but when it all came out and people got hurt reality stepped in and she realised ... (read in full...)
Scared my lady will cheat when I am away
Q. i am 21 and in the army, i am due to deploy to iraq in november for seven months, my fiance tells me she will just have to cope, her previous relationships are riddled with her cheating, but she has not with me yet, i am scared and insecure?...
A. 24 June 2006: She will just have to cope!!! If i was her i'd be dreading it, i'd be so worried about your safety and miss you like crazy. If she's been faithful like you say she has dont worry about what might happen before it does, you will need to stay focused ... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat?
Q. I know this sounds like a ridiculous question but why do people have affairs or cheat behind their partner's back? I ask because I'm 18 and never been in a proper relationship so I don't understand it. Also is it more common for men or women to be ...
A. 24 June 2006: I think it's 50/50 on the male/female thing.
People cheat for all kinds of reasons, some do it to get caught, especially if they feel they are being taken for granted or not appreciated, it brings things out in the open and they've proved to them... (read in full...)
My husband looks at porn and has a female friend from college
Q. my husband of 3 years started going onto porn sites about 6 months ago - some of which were teenage porn sites, which disturbed me as i have a 13yr old daughter (he is her step dad) he was also having online chats with the porn women on a stumble ...
A. 24 June 2006: Get rid love you are worth more than that. He is being selfish, arrogant and not considering your feelings in any of his behaviour. I wonder how he would react if it was the other way round, have you asked him?
He is very immature and self... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move forward?
Q. I have been with the same partner for 8yrs. When I first met him, I told him I was not interested in getting married. I did not tell him why. The truth is I had been in many many relationships where I had been cheated on. I had real trust issues a...
A. 24 June 2006: Dont be shy with your b/f you've been with him 8 years and by the sound of it you would like to spend the rest of your life with him, so now's the time to tell him exactly how you feel about the relationship, start as you mean to go on, you have to ... (read in full...)
I can't desert my children to keep my girlfriend happy
Q. Hello, I am in need of your advice in trying to address a problem I have. I live in England, I am a 45 year old man, divorced for 4 years, with 2 children: a boy of 7 and a girl of 13. I live on my own, and see my children every other weekend,...
A. 14 June 2006: Hi,I agree with you 100% you are the kind of man that deserves great respect. You and your children come as a package, how can a woman of her age really expect you to choose her over your children. Your daughter senses your g/f's feelings towards ... (read in full...)
He said he don't like lesbians, but I'm finding out otherwise.
Q. i'm really confused, my husband goes on about how he hates lesbians but i later find porn on his conputer of just lesbians and also he has aranged with a female work friend who is bi to join in with us one night. why is he lying like this?? please...
A. 14 June 2006: Hi, he doesn't hate lesbians, few men do, i believe that some men find lesbians intimidating because women know what women like and men think they do! It obviously turns your husband on to watch them and now i assume he wants to try the real thing ... (read in full...)
My bf was intimate with a girl I used to be close with, i dont talk her to now, but how do I move on from this ?
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months now, hes 4 years older than me and i already knew hed partially fingered his gf wen he was 16. but recently i found out that he also fingered a girl who i was very close with and we used to call each ...
A. 14 June 2006: Hi, if we resented everyone that our partners went out with before us we wouldn't have many friends would we? you cant hold grudges against people and the actions they took before you were on the scene, you must forget about it and move on, you are ... (read in full...)
We broke up after 2 years he said he was too young, but we are still in contact, he needed space, but now I dont know where I stand
Q. please really really need advice!!!!!!!!! hello i have wriiten before about this but i am still very confused and its not getting any clearer. Basically about a week and a half ago my fiancee of 2yrs broke things off saying he was too young ...
A. 9 June 2006: Hi, i think his brothers advice is the way to go, give him some space to sort out what it is he wants. It may have developed through stress, he may feel pressured in all parts of his life and think that to escape from his routine of the last couple ... (read in full...)
What kind of penis would women rather have?
Q. What is it that women prefer when having sex with a man? A long penis is or a thick one (in diameter)?...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi, size doesn't come into it, it's the way that you use it. What ever shape yours is you are stuck with it cherub, so use it with love x... (read in full...)
Not even dating a year yet, and my boyfriend has proposed! What do I do?
Q. I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and he recently asked me to marry him! We've only been going out for 11 months and I love him but I'm only 17 and have my whole life ahead of me, plus he's in the Marines. I'm really confused. I dont know what to ...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi, if you really have strong feelings for your b/f as he has for you just explain that you really dont want to get married for a while but you would love to show your committment to him by getting engaged. Engagements can be as long or as short as ... (read in full...)
Did peer pressure cause my BF to end it with me?
Q. My boyfriend just broke up with me. I think it may have been peer presure cos i had a fight with his cousin just two days before, then he wasn't talking to me then he broke up with me over the phone. Do you think this could be the reason?...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi,he was probably embarrassed by you fighting with his cousin, divided loyalties and all that or it gave him the excuse he needed to end the relationship. It was a bit cowardly of him to finish with you over the phone but he must have had his ... (read in full...)
I really really like my internet guy, but I'm not yet attracted to him, will this change in time ?
Q. Hi. I'm going out with my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. We met online, and when we met in person, I wasn't really physically attracted to him, he's cute but there were never any real instant sparks. But I pursued him because I found him to ...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi,it's early days take the relationship a day at a time and see how it goes, he obviously has strong feelings for you and probably thinks you feel the same, which i suppose deep down you do. It's your first b/f dont expect it to be like the films ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about breaking up with my boyfriend
Q. ive split up with my boyfriend and feel really guilty what should i do?...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi, if thats what you want please dont feel guilty, you split for a reason dont go back out of guilt, that would be an even bigger mistake, no-one wants to feel like a charity case. Try to remain friends but get on with what ever you want to do with ... (read in full...)
Afraid my boyfriend will break my heart
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years, and we broke up about a month ago, and got back together after a couple of weeks of being apart (both of our choices). I was confused why he did it, but then I started to understand that he wasn't sure ...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi, take each day as it comes, he came back to you so he obviously missed you and the relationship. It is hard to feel relaxed in a relationship that you thought was going ok and found that that feeling was one sided, you will always feel tinges of ... (read in full...)
Should I seek counselling for my problem?
Q. I really need some advice, I'm really down at the moment. I think I've suffered from depression on and off for about 5 years now. I've always been a thoughtful person, even when I was a child but I think it's turning into something more and I ...
A. 8 June 2006: Hi, instead of paying private for counselling why dont you go to your GP, they can offer all kinds of help. It sounds like you are suffering from full blown Depression, it could be reactive but you say you have a good life and if you cant identify ... (read in full...)
My friend is too scared of his abuser to get help!
Q. I really need your help. My male friend has told me he is being abused. His abuser beats him badly. No one knows apart from me. He says that if he tells anyone, his abuser will kill him. He is so scared and I wanna help him but don't know how and ...
A. 7 June 2006: Hi, tell your friend to look in the yellow pages and phone a professional advice line, your friend must not let this continue, if he doesn't tell anyone his abuser could kill him. These people can advise on safe places to go and where to get one to ... (read in full...)
No help with the kids, he drinks and smokes and he's moody... No wonder I don't feel like sex!
Q. I have 2 children ages 2 and 8. Why can't a man understand that the sex is not going to be the same after having children? I have had the long sulks, constant aruguments yet not much help with the kids, which would be a great help. But I am usually ...
A. 7 June 2006: Hi, the problem as i see it is that you feel like a wife, mother and housekeeper, you dont feel appreciated and you've lost your identity whereas your husband spends time away from the home environment with workmates then socialises with friends ... (read in full...)
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