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... Send *ocSilverback a private message | | | *ocSilverback's profile:I am straight forward and to the point. Whether it's what you want to hear or not, I speak my mind. If what I say helps, good. If what I say offends you, oh well, get over it. With my knowledge, sticks and stones may breaks my bones, but ratings will never hurt me...
If you want to see the more sensitive side of me, keep reading the columns. My wife is also an Agony Aunt. She refuses to let me say who she is, because she doensn't like the way I express myself. Go figure. She is more gentle with her advice. |
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I'm attached to my guy on the side even though I think he may be using me. Should I walk away?
Q. Hi I am 32yrs female, married, but have been having an affair with a 48yr old single guy. I am confused as I really like this guy alot, may be falling inlove with him, we have been seing one another for 4 months now, and had sex in the last 2 ...
A. 27 January 2007: Well, let see...YOU are the one that is married. Has it ever crossed your mind that this man does not want a commitment and what better way to find a sexual relationship without any ties than a married woman? You are chasing this man from what I ... (read in full...)
I've been waiting forever but he still won't marry me! So should I call it off and marry this other guy who's offering?
Q. i have been engaged for 1 1/2 years now to my fiancee, when i mention to him about getting married he goes to a bad mood so i just stop and keep my mouth shut cos i don't want any arguments.i feel he doesn't wanna talk about this, but for how long ...
A. 27 January 2007: I tried to stop reading after "there's another man who is ready to marry me'. GEEZE!!!!!! You are more in love with the fact of being married than you are with your mate. So much drama in this play. I say stop the game playing at 36-40 years ... (read in full...)
Should I have told her more about my cheating... or not?
Q. hey well i have made a big mistake. i cheated on my girlfriend and was unfaithful in the first month and a half of our relationship but after i realized how bad i felt i told her about it. she gave me a second chance and i am greatful, but i feel ...
A. 27 January 2007: First of all, it wasn't a mistake. You knew exactly what you were doing. Be thankful that she has forgiven you and gave you a second chance. Don't go into the graphics of what you have done. It's guys like you that give good faithful men a bad ... (read in full...)
Can I learn to deepthroat?
Q. my boyfriend says that the only time a girl is good at giving head is when she can deep throat. how do you do that? he's fairly large in the trouser department. 8 inches. so i'm guessing it wont be easy but i want him to enjoy it so i gotta learn ...
A. 27 January 2007: Man O man. The ONLY way?? NOT! I think that he wants to see for himself how it feels while YOU are performing this sexual act.
If you are dead set on giving him what he requests....then watch the movie DEEPTHROAT. ... (read in full...)
I give good advice, so why are my ratings bad?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I am feeling a bit down at the moment. Why? Because like you I am an agony aunt but unfortunately my ratings have been going down and it makes me feel well (excuse my French)…“sh***y.” I don’t think I give bad advice so I don’t ...
A. 27 January 2007: Just keep on doing your thing!! State how you feel from your heart. A lot of people do not want to hear constructive critisism, therefore, they are apt to rate as poor. SO BE IT! If what you say helps at least ONE person, it is well worth being ... (read in full...)
If he finds out I cheated with my ex, it will destroy him and out future. What do I do?
Q. Hi, Right what it is, ive been with my bf for 2years and i love him more than anything and yes we are only young but we plan to b forever, and we talk about having children. Bt about 3month ago, i cheated with my Ex, of 3 years, and until then, i ...
A. 14 January 2007: Why, in the same breath, you state that you love him more than anything AND then I cheated? They do not fit together. The feeling you are experiencing is the outcome of being deceitful. Did you not think of your future before you cheated? Or for ... (read in full...)
We had sex twice and it wasn't great-now he doesn't want to do it...what should I do?
Q. Hello I'm having a bit of a problem. I'm 24 and at christmas i lost my virginity to my boyfriend. We have only had sex twice and it wasn't that great. It was without condoms (long story, and yes i know about safe sex etc) The problem is, sinc...
A. 14 January 2007: If this was actually your first time having sex, it will be uncomfortable to say the least. But, as with time, you will enjoy. I have to say that you having sex without protection is NUTS. Forget what he states about not using condoms due to the ... (read in full...)
After my attraction to another-I don't think I can love with my husband, again. I find him gross! Any opinions?
Q. I am in love with another man... I have been happily married for 8 years, although my sexual attraction to my husband was always weak (different story). About 16 months ago I became attracted to someone at work. The attraction grew stronger while my...
A. 14 January 2007: Why the hell are you still with your husband??? Please tell me this. Poor fella. You know, you are so wrapped up in yourself, that you cannot see what you are doing to other people's emotions. Your husband NEEDS and rightfully deserves to be ... (read in full...)
Should I beleive him that nothing is going on between them or is this really an affair?
Q. Is He Cheating?? Sorry its long- I have been married for almost 2 years in May. My husband and I have been together for nearly 6 years but have known each other since childhood. A few months ago he got a phone call from a woman late at nite. ...
A. 13 January 2007: How much more information he has to give you before you see that this man is cheating? HE IS CHEATING ON YOU, HE IS CHEATING ON YOU, HE IS CHEATING ON YOU.
My God, he is leaving various things for you to find for a reason. Either he wants you ... (read in full...)
He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?
Q. My problem is this, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he has this habit of constantly touching my private parts (vagina), he says that it is his to touch, this is really starting to irritate me, I have spoken to him about it before ...
A. 13 January 2007: I am not believing what others has typed on here. As far as even ending your relatitonship after two years!! Apparently, this guy has a lot to offer with the ONE acception. He graps your "thing". If that is the only issue with him, you've got ... (read in full...)
Was I out of line to tell my fiance that things between us aren't the same as they used to be? Any advice?
Q. Was I completely out of line to tell my fiance that things between us aren't the same as they used to be...for example, we don't cuddle as much. I didn't say it in an angry tone, and didn't want to start an argument. I was just noticing it, not like ...
A. 13 January 2007: You know, your feelings matter as much as his does. You are 'pussy-footing' around a guy who apparently has issues. Seems to me that you already are walking on eggshells. If your relationship is already rocky due to the fact that his actions ... (read in full...)
After she told me she "can't even remember" the number of guys she's been with, I'm having doubts about us. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, Im 20 years old, and from calafornia,i have been going out with my girlfriend jane(20) for about a month, we were good friends (that slept together) before we decided to be a couple. I love spending time with her, we can talk about...
A. 13 January 2007: Well buddy, maybe she can't count the number of sexual encounters is because she's doing them while being intoxicated. Sounds to me someone at this young age gets drunk and has sex or 'intmate encounters', due to the outcome of drinking alcohol. ... (read in full...)
Broke my porno habit... but should I tell my fiancee about my secret past?
Q. In regards to pornography and masturbation, my question is opposite of most others on this sight: I began this habit at the age of 13 and did not feel there was any problem with it. My opinion began to change at the age of 18 due to religious bel...
A. 13 January 2007: I feel that you just might be lying to yourself. You might not bring porn into the picture, but I feel the maturbation is still in effect or else you wouldn't feel the guilt you are having. Maturbation is pretty much 'life-long'....mate or no ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilt, but I can't stop cheating! I need opinions so I can realize how selfish I'm being.
Q. I'm a young mom married to an older guy and i have cheated!! I met this guy recently and we both liked each other. He satisfies me not just sexually but emotionally too and i think that's what i am craving for. We are very intimate now and i know ...
A. 11 January 2007: I feel like if your husband knew what you were doing, HE would be the one to stop it OR LEAVE YOU. Is your affair worth losing your family? Are your needs above the needs of your family? Why on earth are YOUR selfish needs more immportant? If ... (read in full...)
He's a newly married man, should I risk getting together with him?
Q. i am in love with a newly married man he is 13 years older than me but we connect so well.the thing is he flirts with me too and told me that he really likes me.should i risk it and go with him or should i just leave it please help....
A. 11 January 2007: He's a newly married man on the look-out for a newly, teenage mistress. What a guy!
With all of the single guys out there, you are choosing a relationship with a man, who apparently is not satisfied with one woman. Do you really want to go ther... (read in full...)
He's casually dating both me and his ex. I don't want to be jealous, any advice?
Q. What's the proper way to act when your one of two people seriously dating someone? In my previous relationships I've always jumped right from casual dating into a relationship and have never been one of numerous people dating 1 person. But in my...
A. 9 January 2007: First of all, I have added the additonal letters to his name "B".....the rest is ullshit. Remember, you are gathering all the information that is happening with "B" and his girlfriend FROM "B". How convenient for him. He can basically tell you ... (read in full...)
He stopped having sex with me and I found out why..he started an affair! Any advice?
Q. This is so typical that it almost hurts to write it, but pain propels my fingers. He starts an affair behind my back, but then believing he should only have sex with one person at a time, still hangs out with me, but stops the sex (with me), b...
A. 9 January 2007: First of all, I know that you are just trying to clarify the 'other woman' and yourself and stating that she is #2, but, if he broke things up with you on an itimate level, then she is actually #1 and you are #2, sad to say. No one deserves to be ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or am I just being insecure?
Q. Ok ive been with this guy for 1yr and 5mo.who is being distant b/c we have total different work schedules it was'nt always like that, because he would work on cars in front of his house( his house that we shared) or at the customers house. 5months ...
A. 7 January 2007: Give him the benefit of the doubt. You are used to seeing him because of the location in which he was working previous. Unless you have a valid reason for him cheating, I wouldn't even bring it up. Working on cars is hard work. And that is a ... (read in full...)
Ex and I split so I began dating again and now he's jealous! What's going on here?
Q. My bf ended it recently, we'd been getting on so well it was something that was unexpected. Our sex life was great and always very enjoyable.He told me he loved me and though we hadn't made any long term plans for a future together ie marriage etc ...
A. 7 January 2007: Are you sure that the jealousy lies with just him? You sound like you would take him back no matter what he has done to you. You stated that you have broken up several times over trivial things. Who did the breaking? If he did all the breaking, ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and never had sex! I want it so what do I have to do?
Q. Ok here's the deal I'm nearly 19 and I've still never had sex with a guy or even had oral. I know loads of you are gonna give me rubbish bout not popping my cherry with anyone and how special it is and how normal I am but no offence I really don't ...
A. 7 January 2007: Okay this is not the lousey stuff kid. Pop your cherry. Go out with the first Joe blow that you meet. You won't meet the man of your dreams. Is that what you want to hear? Spoiled brat. Tie a bone around your neck, maybe the dogs will play a ... (read in full...)
I can't help it-I love my current girl and ex gf! Why am I this way?
Q. Hi, my name's Joe, and I have a dilemma.. Is it natural to fall in love with two people? I mean I've been going out with this one girl for 6 months, thinking that it's going somewhere.. and then recently, after meeting up with my ex-girlf...
A. 7 January 2007: This sounds vaguely familiar. Oh well. Do yourself and each female in this situation a favor....let them both down easy. It is not fair to either one of them. I believe you have feelings for both of them.....love is not in the scenerio. ... (read in full...)
I want to meet her but she says she's 'confused'! What the heck does she mean by that?
Q. Hi, I am having an online relationship with a girl from another country. We have not met in real life, but we have spent much time chatting on msn messenger, and we have built up a really wonderful friendship. I have fallen in love with her, and...
A. 7 January 2007: R&B hit the nail on the head. I need not state a word.... (read in full...)
Getting really frustrated in my sex life with my partner. I need help and advice!
Q. I'm getting really frustrated in my sex life at the moment. Me and my partner have a good sex life but lately, I'm getting bored. We make love and, although he tries to make it about me too (we have toys and he gives me oral etc), I never come ...
A. 7 January 2007: Try telling him that you want to play with each other and with your toys BEFORE you engage into intercourse. That way you can use this time to become aroused (also he) and possibly orgasm. If he is a quick squirter you will possibly never have an ... (read in full...)
We're loves and both married to other people. How can my lover get over his guilt of cheating?
Q. Both my lover and I are married but there is no sex for either of us in those relationships. We have been seeing each other for a few months and have recently started sleeping together. However, my lover is finding it difficult to deal with his ...
A. 7 January 2007: Okay. You keep talking about HIS guilt. Have you any? From the looks of things you do not feel any type of remorse for your actions. You stated that there is no sex in your marriage.....why is that? And also, how the heck do you know that he is ... (read in full...)
Married man dilemma! I am hooked! What should I do now?
Q. Hi, I am in a dilemma - divorced 5 years ago, several opportunities for relationships along the way and always declined. A co-worker that I have known and talked to daily for the past 3 years - and purely work conversations - for never an instance...
A. 7 January 2007: First of all, you stated that you work together on a daily basis, yet he lives 3 hours away. Humm....okay. I noticed you defending yourself from the start. You are always talking about work....then BAM....you are with him. I'm missing something. ... (read in full...)
Can a woman fancy you without you knowing?
Q. Can a woman fancy you without you knowing or not telling you? thanks for your help folks!...
A. 7 January 2007: Yes. It's up to you to 'sense' them out. If you feel that you are being 'fancied' and you like...talk to them. Some women do not like to make the first move. So, make a move Man! Good luck.... (read in full...)
We both have respective bf/gfs, but we get on so well, I want to know if we're into each other?
Q. hi, a quick question to any boys reading - if you have a boyfriend and you meet a guy and become good friends with him but don't tell him about your boyfriend for a long time, it pretty much means you like your friend a bit too much, yes? and if you ...
A. 7 January 2007: Games. Ah yes. If you choose the route of games, that is what you will be playing with in your relationships to come. If you ever want a serious relationship, put away the checkers and break out the deck of cards....then lay them out on the ... (read in full...)
It's all so complicated! What can I do?
Q. i like this guy,but his best friend likes me, my best friend likes my crush and i'm friends with his ex. i don't want to hurt any one but i really want to ask him out. what in the world can i do...
A. 7 January 2007: Whoa! Get out while you still have these friends! Much 2 complicated. And what's with YOU asking him out? You might want to wait for men to ask you out. You might be setting yourself up for let-downs.... (read in full...)
I love her more than she knows. What should I do?
Q. I am madly in love with my best friend. We used to go out at the start of 2006, and after 2 months going out she has been the last thing I think of before I sleep at night. We have stayed close friends and during the summer we did end up making ...
A. 7 January 2007: You might want to just 'ask' her. Tell her how you feel. You have spent intimate time together, that should count for something. If you do not tell her how you feel now, her new relationship just might exculate. Do it now Man!... (read in full...)
He's separated and still pays the mortgage on his wife's home! I resent this..am I being unreasonable?
Q. My boyfriend of almost two yrs is still married and he was separated when we met. He has yet to get a divorce. He's been waiting for his soon to be ex to be able to afford the house that they have together. He's been paying the mortgage all this ...
A. 7 January 2007: First of all, even when they do get divorced, he will still have to pay the mortgage on the house for a few months. Check the laws of your state. (This only pertains if they are paying on the house to own....not renting). If they do divorce, ... (read in full...)
Been with boyfriend for 4 years, but am getting on so well with another guy. What should I do?
Q. I am 39 years old and divorced and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have been quite happy together and I trust him, but I have always got upset and made unhappy by the fact that he will never move in with me, he says that the time isnt ...
A. 7 January 2007: Go with what you both are feeling "guilty" as charged. Neither of you has cheated before? Well, then stop cheating and the guilt feelings will go away. Who are we to break up a bond? If the marriage was failing, let it fail without your help. ... (read in full...)
I want a threesome w/ my fiance's best friend, but my fiance is jealous and possessive. Should I just get over my feelings?
Q. My partner and I have recently got engaged, bought a house and have finally decided to settle down after many years of playing the field. We have been together for a year now and I have so far felt that this is the last man I will ever be with. ...
A. 7 January 2007: Maybe try having a threesome with one of your best friends and see if you feel the same toward her and him. Especially if he really ENJOYS himself. Tell you what, you might not like the outcome of that one. Or maybe you have run out of things to ... (read in full...)
I know it makes you blind, but is this another side effect?
Q. Is it true that when you masturbate it kills thousnads of brain cells?...
A. 7 January 2007: Whack a way little man. You will still be able to see after you open your eyes...... (read in full...)
Once i'm triggered, i'm really aggressive! How do I stop doing this?
Q. Hi there, i have just failed in another relationship after 6 months, my problem is i become very jealous, insecure, etc when my partner and i are in a social environment, i try to drink before hand to help me relax, but then once something triggers ...
A. 7 January 2007: There is a pattern here. Girl, going out, take a drink, go out, get aggressive. How about, girl, stay home, drink a coke and see what happens.... (read in full...)
I just want to be happy with the girl I love, but am struggling. Can I achieve that?
Q. I've been living with my gf for a few years now and her behaviour has changed rapidly.She has 2 children from a previous who i have a good relationship with. she recently stated she wants no more children now but did when i didn't!Instead she treats ...
A. 7 January 2007: Man, you have already answered your question. Please re-read what you wrote. You wrote all these nasty little things that she does. You wrote that talking to her is IMPOSSIBLE. So what's left? Nothing. If you cannot communicate with her, ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he call?
Q. Why doesn't he call? I have fallen for a guy whose works too hard and loves spending time with his mates. Ohhh things were sooo rosey in the beginning and he always had time for me. He tells me he likes me and wants to be with me and wants to ...
A. 7 January 2007: Well darlin, it looks like you have a good heart. But if no one is making any calls, how are you going to have a relationship? By the looks of it, you are more into the relationship than he is. I say move on as much as it might hurt. There is ... (read in full...)
Am I getting an orgasm or steps leading up to one?
Q. ok so sry if this gets a bit in detailed but im not sure if i get an orgasm or if its just a little thing before i reach orgasm. so after a little while i will start to shake (writhe) and my breathing will increase and i will get really wet then ...
A. 7 January 2007: I would say yes you are. You are getting more and more sensitive in that area because you are having multiple orgasms...whew. Whatever you or someone else is doing, you might want to share with others..haha.... (read in full...)
All my trust in her was shattered when I found out she's still in touch with the guy she cheated with!
Q. A year ago I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me 2 years ago. It took time and I was heartbroken but I got over this and forgave her. Then I found out that she was still speaking to this guy - she had told me previously that she wasn't ...
A. 7 January 2007: A year ago you gave her a second chance. Now you feel pretty much like you've been cheated on again. You said a mouthful when you said that the trust has been shattered. Without trust pal, you have nothing in a relationship. Now that is your ... (read in full...)
Should I still remain in a marriage that I am in, just for the satisfaction of my family?
Q. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 teenagers. I have only been "content" in my marriage, not really happy. I have been friends with a another man for about 7 years. He was in a bad marriage and is now going through a divorce. Seven ...
A. 6 January 2007: You know, back in the old days, you would have been stoned to D. People like you are the reason why marriages do not last. Sorry, but you will not get pity from me. Your poor husband and kids didn't even have a shot to defend their own family! ... (read in full...)
I cant take his lies anymore. He says he will change but he doesnt. Any advice?
Q. have been dating my boyfriend on and off for about four years now. he is a good guy and i love him, and he still tells me he loves me. we have had our problems but usually we work things out. recently though he did something that made me feel very ...
A. 6 January 2007: Did you ask him why he did not call you? Did you ask him why didn't he spend the holiday with you as he promised? I feel that you should not end this relationship without at least getting these questions answered. I would be curious to know how ... (read in full...)
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