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female
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*olly5
writes: I am very unhappy in my marriage. My husband is cold and we have no physical contact, not even a hug from him. He is hardly ever in the wrong. He seems to take great delight in outwitting me in conversations and always has to have the last word. His family are constantly in communications with him, Letters, daily e-mails and phone calls weekly. His mother uses him for her affections, that are missing from her husband. When I have brought this up - he says it's none of my business and how can it be bothering me.With other people he is timid and has a thoroughly sickly pleasant mannerism. He is constantly tetchy and impatient and thinks he is perfect. I am afraid in the car when he is driving as he gets paranoid when drivers get close behind him and he has done stupid things like fastly swerving into a layby, I wondered what was happening and only to be told shut up, don't start. I felt hurt and hopeless. I have got resentment and bitterness towards him now. I feel if he carries on in this one day he will put us both in danger. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): Your husband sounds just like my husband. I know divorce is not the answer, but i know you've thought about it, cuz I have, i do always, I feel like i'm trapped, but when he's sweet, he's great. My husband is unpredictable. Are you dependant on your husband? Do you have children? My husbands mom died when he was 1 and his aunt who raised him, has a lot of say in what "he" should feel, and that "he has to be the man". Does your husband have migranes? Its probably due to hyper tension. My husband is sauve and caring and helpful to others, but when i ask him to help my family he has a problem. So what I do is, I ignore him now. If my family invites us over for dinner, I'll ask him, but if he doesnt want to go and makes a fuss, then i tell him I'm going, and he's welcome to come along.
My husband got to a point, where he shoved me, and he was a bout to smack me, cuz he was swearing at me, and i asked him to grow up and talk rationally;name calling is just out right uneducated. He got up to hit me, but my 14 year old brother got in the way, I then threatened to call the police, and to wipe him clean of everything he'd be paying alimony to me and my future husband, if he ever touches me again. Ever since then, he's learned to keep his anger to himself, Though i've been mixing in some "Kali Phos" which is tablets from the health food store. I doctor told my husband to his face, that his migranes where set on my having too much anger. And she asked him to lighten his attitude, cuz this attitude only creates more health problems like blood pressure and nervous breakdown. He wont take it if i tell him what its for. So as I want my marriage to work, i take some tablets and mix them in his milk and throw some in gravy or sauce so its masked and throuroughly mixed. Also if you can get out find a job, when he sees your more independant he'll miss you, respect you more too.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (22 January 2006):
 Do you still love your husband? Has he always been like this? When did things start to go wrong?
You need professional help. Marriage counselling very often works, especially if your husband will not sit down and talk to you. If you try to talk to him make sure oyu do not sound accusatory, try to tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. If he will not respond then go for counselling, if he will not go for that then give him an ultimatum......BUT BE PREPARED TO FOLLOW IT THRU!!!!
Life is too short to live in a misery, go for it, see if you can help him change, if he won't MOVE ON!!
Good Luck with your future happiness. x
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A
female
reader, breeze +, writes (20 January 2006):
hi my husband is the same. like a robot. will not have any fun and im so fed up with it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 January 2006):
 If you are so unhappy why don't you get a divorce? Life is too short to live in a constant state of misery. Good luck.
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