A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a good career. He's always broke and asking for money. When I tell him no, then the fight is on! He argues and name calls. Tells my my ego is too big that's why I won't help him. I have told him several times I can't always be handing out money. He's not a child, and should be responsible. He's even threatened me with juju. Saying if he does that too me, he will spend all my money! I haven't talked to him for 3 days and now he's messaging again. Any advice ?
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2022): I agree with every else. It is time to dump the dude.
Your friend, Calvin
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2022): Intelligent people don't work very hard and get a good career and then let some lazy pip squeek come along and milk them dry.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2022): What you didn't mention is if you actually live with your boyfriend, or if he is an online boyfriend? If he's online, I would recommend that you stop sending him money. If you live with him, you might want to put an extra layer protection on your credit cards, and bank accounts. You may also want to get identity protection; so no credit cards or loans can be applied for online.
If you have joint accounts, that would be inviting the worst thing that could ever happen to you. He could withdraw every cent you have!
If you're afraid of "juju;" perhaps it's time to revisit whatever faith or spiritual belief you were brought-up with. Prayer and worship are great protection from evil spells and witchcraft.
It's time to say "NO!" He's not being your boyfriend; he's your dependent, or boy toy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2022): Stop letting him use you. You deserve better. He is a child and needs to grow up. You are not his parent, and he is not your responsibility. Leave and find a man instead.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2022): Are you writing to vent, or do you really want honest advice?
I'll be frank and direct. I speculate you've written DC looking for sympathy from other females; and someone to tell you what to say, and/or what to do, to "fix" your adult-sized man-baby. You knew from the very beginning of the relationship that the age-difference was going to become an issue down the road. You must have dismissed many warnings and red-flags; because he didn't suddenly become a brat. You've likely enabled much of his bad-behavior; and you probably wanted a hot young good-looking boyfriend. He had sexual-energy, stamina in bed, boyish charm, tons of sex-appeal; and you must have thought you'd be able to whip him into shape. Thinking you'd smooth the rough edges, and teach him how to be a good boyfriend.
He's acting his age. Now it's time for you to act yours. If you're afraid of "juju;" I'm going to go out on a limb and speculate that your boyfriend is from West Africa. That is a dark religion of witchcraft and spells practiced in Ghana, Nigeria, and Cameroon. Americans do not practice "juju!" They would use the term black magic, divination, or voodoo.
There is no advice on how to "make" him suddenly grow-up. You've grown attached to him; and addicted to the reality-TV drama he offers by now. It will take a gradual wearing down of your nerves and patience; and you will reach the final straw. You will blow-up and throw him out. No words can we offer to make you do it; he has to push you to it.
When you've had enough of raising and supporting a teenager in his twenties; you will finally dump him, and go find yourself a man. During the downtime until that happens; you will have the opportunity to work-on your own flaws and weaknesses. Then you will be ready to start a well-matched relationship with another adult who is looking for a compatible and meaningful relationship.
There is a plus side to all this. If you've never had children, now you have an idea of what it's like to parent a teenager. You will be able to use this experience in the future, should you decide to have a family.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 August 2022):
 Sorry, have had issues with posting recently, hence the "testing" post. Didn't want to go to the effort of typing a reply if the site was going to stop me posting.
You've wasted 2 years on this waster. Draw a line TODAY and don't waste another minute. You KNOW he is pointless. You KNOW he is no good. You KNOW he is using you. The question you need to be asking is why you don't think you are worth better because, sweetheart, you really are.
Ignore his messages, block him and move on with your life. Find someone who has similar values to yours and who pulls their weight in your relationship. You were not put on this earth to be miserable with a loser.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 August 2022):
Testing
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 August 2022):
 Why in the WORLD are you with this guy??
I realize that often things are written during the worst time, and you get the worst version of the situation, but honestly there is no list of good qualities that could possibly outweigh this.
You haven't talked to him for three days, you can go the rest of your life. He's just writing because you're his meal ticket, he'll say anything he can to get back in your good graces and then just go back to the same nasty behavior.
You deserve better than this. Say goodbye and regret nothing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 August 2022):
 Why are you with him?
Change your locks, change your number, block, delete him on all apps and social media.
If he could "juju" you to hurt you why can't he juju some income or a good job for himself? He is full of crap.
Move on, OP
He is a man-child. Let him figure life out on his own or find someone else to leech off.
You can do better, and you know it.
Take some time and figure out why you were dating him in the first place and what red flags you either didn't see or ignored. And then NEXT time you meet a man you think you might want to date, pay more attention.
Don't talk to him, don't continue to see him.
WANt more from a partner than he is willing and able to give.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2022): You gotta be kidding . "Any advice ?"...Why, what advice do you think that any not-out-of-their-mind people could give you, other than : block the damn moocher on all your phones and social media, move on, and make better wiser choices next time ??
...............................
|
