A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. One had a dress on so short that her ass was showing and she bent over a few times. Do some really need that much attention? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 June 2016):
 A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (25 June 2016):
Honeypie -
"Maybe they are SO full of confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit?"
Yes exactly. I don't know if you have any idea how many times girls and women have been told to either "flaunt it if you got it" or "fake it if you don't".
Young women specially are taught to dress sexy to get attention, to show confidence. Look at most of the women you see in magazines, tv, Youtubers whatnot.
On a guy a tight tight t-shirt is OK even-though he is objectifying himself JUST as much as a girl with a plunging neckline. They are BOTH showing off the chest area, the area the majority of the opposite gender LOOK at, at a club.
I have never been big on revealing outfits, I liked more "classic" looks, but even that can make you stand out.
What you (general you) wear doesn't define you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 June 2016):
 I stand by the same answer I gave two years ago :
because it's a night club. And in a night club you wear night club attire. And for night club attire it is acceptable to be on the skimpy side. It is appropriate to the venue or occasion. What would you like them to wear, a wind jacket with Moonboots ?
Of course some girls go a bit OTT, less skimpy would be enough.
Then again, if you think about it, while your old ratty P.J. is appropriate attire for lounging in your kitchen at 7 A.M., some people wear P.J.s which are really TOO old and TOO ratty.
That does not make them bad or immoral, and most of all it's not something that you have to lose any sleep over...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2016):
 Lots of answers on the same question 2 years ago: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-women-at-night-clubs-dress-provocatively.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Sometimes we go to great lengths, and even over the top for attention. Mostly to get laid! Club-life demands you to dress provocatively, wear a lot of makeup, extra high heels; and guys are supposed to come-on to women like dogs and pigs; so they can get shot-down. Everyone has a role to play. The sleazy low-down playa and the ho. Pardon the terminology here. It is meant to make a point.
Clubbing is where you get to dress your raunchiest, misbehave, drink too much (or whatever); and use the cheesiest lines to pick-up people. At which you get to pretend you are totally annoyed and insulted; at the same time flattered he noticed. Showing-off for your girlfriends; while at the same time, boosting your self-esteem at some jerk's expense.
It's a form of venting. You have to follow dress codes, listen to your parent's preaching about what a good girl and good boy does or doesn't do. Generally, being judged by hypocrites. Doing exactly what your parents did before you.
It's a form of rebellion, sexual-teasing, and an in-your-face response to the usual rules of society; and what is so self-righteously considered acceptable behavior. It's usually a phase, and most outgrow it.
For those who don't outgrow it, they usually lose self-respect; thus losing respect from all around them.
It's mainly a passing phase in youth, a right of passage, and it gives you something to look back on and dare your daughters to do. Which they will anyway, because that's how it goes.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 Yes. Society has taught women over some centuries now, that we are judged by our appearance and not by our brains. So there you have it, the reason why women dress up. Well, half the reason anyway.
The other half, being of course, that we are pack animals and want to fit in. If it's socially acceptable and expected to wear this and that, then we do just so. We've done this for centuries, don't act like it's anything new. If we all just wore whatever we pleased, why aren't anyone wearing 1800-style fashion any more? Surely, some must have enjoyed it, since they all wore it just a couple centuries ago... Or, why don't you style your hair in the 90-fashion? I mean, if you believe yourself to be above the norm and want to pretend that you don't do exactly like these s***ts in the club does.
You wear that same outfit, honey, you have just draped it in a different manner on yourself. But you're not better. We're all nothing but sheep in this sense.
BTW, when you call other women s***ts, it only reflects badly on you and makes you look jealous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): I like wear my lbd when I go out .. its not up over my butt but my Bro calls it my belt .. why do I wear this .. because I look good in it .. because I feel good in it .. now I get guys who will ask when they don't get to paw and I don't encourage warrant or ask for that behaviour why am I wearing it then .. eh for me .. I don't expect a female to be asking the same ..
I have a good figure and a pretty face and I work hard at maintaining both ..that doesn't mean that pretty girls don't come in all shape and sizes and looks .. be proud of who you are .. be happy in the skin your in and if not chose to change it m
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): First of all how dare you call a women a slut!
Second we are no longer in the 1950's.
Women wear what they wwant want because they like the outfit. Not for attention!
Before I had my kid I used to go out in short dresses and the rest. Now I'm 27 and after kids my body has changed so I tend to cover up more. I still like tops that have a v-neck and you know why I wear them because I'm too warm! Not just for men to have a look.
I suggest you change your attitude because I doubt any women would even consider dating you when you brand them things like that, just because of what they wear.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Been there, done that. Not often but once or twice. Never hooked up with a random man. I just liked dressing up for a night with my girls and getting a bit of attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): I really don't like to see it either. Given the fact that quite a lot of men in that kind of environment look upon women as nothing more than a vagina on legs, I see this kind of 'undressing' as degrading for women. Nothing wrong with sex and being sexy, but I would always want to see that coupled with class. Not everything on show. Where's the mystery, the intrigue, the chase, the respect for themselves. Men do not normally look upon women who dress like this as nothing more than a cheap shag and if they don't mind being looked upon as cheaply as that, then I guess that's why they dress that way. I hope they realise how they will be viewed and talked about by the very men they are maybe trying to attract. I find it sad personally.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 June 2016):
 I suppose because they like the way they look and they feel comfortable and attractive in it. Not everyone's cup of tea. However, live and let live.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 June 2016):
Honeypie -
"Maybe they are SO full or confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit?"
Because of sacrifices I have made in my younger life, I am now pretty wealthy. With that, I dont need to walk around with copies of my stock portfolio taped to my chest because Im "so full of confidence." I paid over $130,000 for my car, yet my current wife had no idea I even owned it until we were dating for three months.
When you are trying very hard to show off a quality of yours, it almost always is indicative of some type of insecurity. People who are truly confident dont need to impress anyone but themselves.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 June 2016):
 Honeypie -- PREACH, girlfriend!
Honeypie just slayed that advice. There's nothing more to say. Nailed it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 June 2016):
Maybe it makes THEM feel good?
Maybe they are SO full or confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit? Or they want other to think that?
Maybe it's part of their "sub-culture"? (think Jersey shores)
Maybe it gives them a sense of "freedom"? (from having to be "good little girls" )
Maybe they are trying to fit in with a group of "friends".
Maybe it gives them a sense of power. I think some young (and heck older women) find that showing off their body can be "lucrative" at a night out. Like getting free drinks, attention, dance partners and... a larger selection of "mates".
Maybe... they are ovulating. Seriously, studies have shown that women who are ovulating are more inclined to show skin an be more "sexualized" in their behavior.
I'm sure there are a MILLION more reasons why. My question to you is... why the hate? So what if they want to dress in a handkerchief for going out - I say GOOD for them to have the lady-balls to do it and be confident about it.
It does NOT take ANYTHING away from you or other more "modestly" dressed women. And it doesn't make you "better" in any way to look down on these girls.
They do them.... YOU do you.
Live and let live, girl - life is too short to walk around having to think everyone feel, act and do the same things.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 June 2016):
"Do some really need that much attention?"
In a word, yes. For reasons beyond the scope of a message board post, many woman derive their self worth/esteem from how much attention they can get from men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Here is some advice, stop slut shaming and allow people to dress, and present, the way in which they choose. And, a way in which they feel comfortable.
Who are you to judge?
It might be more constructive to ask why you respond to other women in this way?
Or, to explore the norms created by society that has created this juxtaposition of expectations for women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Yes, they need attention.
When girls are young, they are not confident of themselves. They base their self worth on their looks only. They don't have life experience and confidence built up from life experience. So, the quick fix is getting attention for their looks and their barely there outfits.
Been there, done that.
Also, the way our culture is and the way media exploits women, a lot of these girls feel they need to compete. Be as pretty as the reality show attention whores etc. That all the guys are looking at them and they have to be like that or better. It is all based on media pressure, pressure from guys, pressure from magazine, movies etc. The list continues. It is almost a culture now with social media too. It is also based on pressure from their peers and their friends. Girls like to outdo each other when they are going out places. So they are always going to come out with their best outfits because they want to be better than their girlfriends. Constant competition. So, the more revealing their outfit, the more guys will stare at them and they will feel they are the prettiest. This can change on any given day. Depending on who is wearing the most revealing outfit or is even the most flirtatious. Sad really. It is also fleeting. Does not last long. The ego boost is short lived and they must keep trying to get it. It is a never ending vicious cycle.
When you reach my age... (40s) you are happy with what you have. You know you are beautiful even if you have no make up on and are going to the store to grab something. You have other qualities which are not visible physically which make you beautiful, special, even sexy. And you don't care who likes you or doesn't. You own your beauty regardless of any outside influences. You realize you have days which you look extra hot and revel in it. And some days, you don't and you are just fine with that. Even more, you know your friend looks hot and is getting attention, more than you, and you are JUST FINE with it. More power to her. Remember just because other girls are pretty does not detract from your own beauty. We are all beautiful in our own, unique way. :) So, getting older is a good thing. Your life experiences shape your confidence. It becomes something you own and nobody else can ever change. Now, THAT is BEAUTIFUL!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): You're a woman, just as you chose to wear what you want so can any other woman. While I don't personally get my arse and tits out for a night out (and wouldn't even if I wasn't married) that's just how some women feel at their most confident.
Who are you to judge? Why does a woman's clothes allow you to pass judgement on them. The combination of alcohol is probably meaning these.ladies aren't quit aware how much their revealing. Doesn't mean anyone is entitled to look, touch or grab these women and it certainly doesn't mean they want attention. They probably wanted a good night out with their friends. A kind thing to do if you are more sober than a woman falling out of her dress is to tell her that she is, and get her a glass of tap water from the bar. Let's be a bit more kinder to each other.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 Why do you care? There's nothing morally decent about sl*t-shaming, especially not based on what they wear.
I warn people about wearing those clothes because it's risky, but I don't judge them as sl*ts. I do think it can look tacky, I wouldn't wear it and I wouldn't like my future children to. *However*, if they want to wear it, how does it affect you? Jealous of the attention? You know that most who pay them attention only want one thing, so why does it bother you?
The problem here isn't them or what they wear; it's why you're hung up on it.
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