A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does my friend seem jealous? We are both female single never married and in our late 30s. We met because we work together. The other day I asked her about dating and she said she was not interested and was going to focus on work. A couple weeks later I told her I was going to do the same in text message. She loved my comment and typed out I love it which makes me think she is happy and wants me to be single. More recently I did just happen to go on a date. I send her and several friends pictures about the guy, a dress I wore, foods are etc. Every friend I sent it to acknowledged it-asked me how it went, complimented me, talked about the food etc. she is literally the only one who said nothing! Then before I admitted to her I found another woman very attractive at work because she made me think of a celebrity. She seemed to respond by ignoring my text for a few days. When we first met and I would date she did seem to be more responsive and be happy for meAnother factor is she has shared with me in the past how she is insecure about her appearance and how people don’t really want to date her because she’s unattractive. But she said she’s not interested in dating now and does seem very busy with work. As a friend I want to support her and I think she is beautiful and also has a great personality but doesn’t take time to put herself out there for others to see. So is she jealous or maybe have some sort of crush on me? Should I talk to her about all of this? I ask because it did bother me she said nothing
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2023): Yeah i'm glad the others all said it. I have friends who do this - share every detail and honestly? It's just annoying. I have too much other stuff going on to give notice to this and your friend sounds the same.
Please be careful though with your specualtions and the way you speak at work as some things can now be interpreted as sexual harrasment - accusing her of having a crush etc. Yes it sounds daft but that is actually very borderline.
All I am adding on here is to try to be a bit more reserved. Not everything needs to be shared, and once it's shared it can't be taken back. Be a bit more secretive, have a bit more mystery about yourself. It wi make you more interesting.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2023): You come across as a needy teenager, yes like Honeypie said.
Far too much wanting attention and opinions and time from this other person you work with. Beyond reasonable. If a true friend was wanted this much it would appear old, and this person is not a real friend. Are you one of those people on face book who post to say you've just had a cup of coffee and were going to phone your mum in a few minutes. And expect everyone to be enthralled by these day to day things. Let me tell you something. People only care about such details if you are famous. You are a nobody, not famous, not in demand. Their lives matter far more to them than yours does. And you will not make them wish they were on a date with you by talking about a date you went on.
If you want to give or get free advice on life to anyone and everyone on our great new and busy advice forum come along and do so, askagonyauntsadviceonline.com You can get paid for it too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2023): "I did just happen to go on a date. I send her and several friends pictures about the guy, a dress I wore, foods are etc. Every friend I sent it to "This sounds more like What I Did On My Honeymoon postcard. Way too much info. With all these details -- the etc part begs the question, did that dress come off? Girlfriend probably just rolled her eyes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2023): So you have a crush on her, and you think if you send her details and pictures of going out with another woman should get her more jealous and wishing it were her instead. You are disappointed because she does not revolve her life around you dating a total stranger to you and her. You are annoyed because she is not fascinated by photos of food.. nor would I be. I know what food looks like and don't need photos to remind me. Nor would I go wow, great, and all that stuff to make you feel better, especially if it were a very ordinary cheap place you went to. Tell her the truth, that you fancy her and wish you had gone out with her instead. Get it off your chest.If she looks like some famous good looking woman then she will be popular with other guys who want her too so ask yourself why she would prefer you to them.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 September 2023):
 Agreed - you seem more caught up with the friend's reaction than the date. I have a few girl friends like you, who enjoy having, what I affectionately call a "POW". Aka, a Panel Of Women who they text for opinions and reactions. As a member of a few POWs, it feels a little insecure and needy.
I am guessing that you work friend has her own group of friends and is focused on work, not you. It is extremely sweet that you value her opinion so much, but when you ask if she is jealous or has a crush on you, you kind of come off as the one who is a bit jealous and has a crush on her.
That's completely okay if that's whats going on here, but I do think you need to maybe look inward and see what's going on with you rather than what's going on with her.
Best of luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 September 2023):
 You seem a little too invested in this friend. I don't think she's jealous or interested in you, but I think she might find you a little annoying. I know I would. You're work friends but you're sending her pictures of your date, the food etc...if my colleague did this then I'd also most likely ignore it unless we were very close friends. You're talking about crushes at work which is not very professional. You say she's busy with work and so, she must definitely find your actions irritating. You're behaving like you're 20 something, instead of in your late 30s. I think you need to act your age and respect professional boundaries. You've even gone so far as to think she might have a crush on you! You really need to focus more on what's important and less on this stuff!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 September 2023):
 "So is she jealous or maybe have some sort of crush on me? "
I'd guess not to both.
Her world doesn't revolve around you. Whether you go on a date or like someone's looks at work. I mean what is she supposed to do with that info? And as you pointed out she seems pretty busy with work.
Maybe she sees you as a "work-friend" not a "friend-friend".
" Should I talk to her about all of this? I ask because it did bother me she said nothing"
You could, but that makes you seem like a need teenager.
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