A
female
age
30-35,
*nonymous1818
writes: I have been seeing A married guy for nearly 8 months. He spending every free moment with me we do things we go away sometimes, we talk on the phone multiple times a day every single day. He has been great fI me, He’s caring, attentive, Generous understanding this whole time he has been here for me hundred percent but right now I just find myself wanting him to be around me all the time on the weekends he’s always with his family and I don’t get to see him. For the next few months he would need to spend a lot more time with his family so we barely see each other. I just don’t know if I can do this anymore I have my own kid but I love him so much but I just don’t know if I can do this anymore because lately I’ve been feeling jealous towards his family even though I shouldn’t I don’t have the right to . Only one thought of me breaking up with him get me hysterically crying I’m in love with this man. But I’m very scared The more time I get to spend with him The more fall in love with him and I don’t know want to let go. But I know that this is a dead-end relationship I’m confused. Thank you no judgment please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2018): Well if you regret the day you met him and know he is a serial cheat stop wasting your time with the loser. Look i get it, you are attracted to him, he has had plenty oof experience in drawing the women in but that is what you are, another woman on his bed notch, nothing more nothing less. Yes i am sure he is great at wooing you and maybe good in the sack but to him it is simply just a game, you mean no more and no less than the others because at the end of it all he will grow older, get bored with it all and come to some sad conclusion that he has been a complete arse to his wife and will spend his twilight years trying to make it up to her, she is 'the long suffering wife'. Rid yourself of this jerk because i have been where you are, the other woman (many years ago), being with a man who is single, who treats you as his number 1 and HIS ONLY LADY is much nicer than anything this man is giving you TRUST ME, stop selling yourself short!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2018): If I would leave the job it would hit me really hard financially and I have a child to support very hard and tricky situation. I really regret the day I met him my whole world flipped upside down. And I had a discussion with him a while back that even if he does leave his wife and I will be in the different status with him somebody else is going to take my place because I would never trust this man. I feel really bad for her because all 20 years of their marriage he has been unfaithful at all times I would not want to be in her shoes
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2018):
 So make a choice.
Keep the business meeting and alone time to an absolute minimum, let him know that you are DONE being a mistress and make SURE he understands that if he can't respect that... his wife might hear about it.
You are too young to throw away your life and youth on a man that isn't available and isn't a quality man.
But you are OLD enough to set boundaries. BE firm.
Don't let him manipulate you any further.
And for HOW long are you "bound to be working with him"?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (24 April 2018):
 OP, until you wake up and realize that you are worth far more than this man can offer you, you are going to be miserable. The few stolen moments that you have together are never going to be enough for you but that is all that he will ever be able to give you. Love yourself enough to want more. I had a friend that had an affair for 7 years with a married man. She even accidentally got pregnant and he gave her the $ to have an abortion. Nice huh? I say that very sarcastically. She was always sad, always lonely and spent every holiday alone because he was with his family. She wasted 7 years! I begged her to leave him but she was "in love". Happily eventually she did get sick of being the side piece and left him. Don't let 7 years go by! End it and if you have to be involved let it be ONLY on a business level. He'll keep stringing you along forever if you allow it! Don't!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): I know this will be easier said than done, but don't spend any more time with him as lover or friend. Keep your relationship to him strictly business.
He will not leave his wife for you. On the slim chance that he did, you would likely discover that living with him 24/7 would kill your little prince charming fantasy. Think about how he treats his wife. How much quality time does she get?Does she get all that caring, understanding, attentive generous stuff you get? Doubtful, and if you took her place doubtful you would either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): Maintain your business-ties in a professional-manner. You have to take hold of your emotions and switch-over to your sense of logic. A young intelligent single-woman deserves better. You have so much life ahead of you.
We have to learn to have power and take authority over our feelings and impulses. We have to establish values and distinguish between what is wrong, and what is right. Not just do things because they feel good. You wouldn't want some woman sleeping with your husband, or your husband choosing another woman over you.
You are above being someone's mistress. That is a subservient and subordinate station for a woman in a man's life; in comparison to his wife. You are his concubine.
You didn't educate yourself and struggle in this world to be hidden and used like a play-toy. You're a good woman.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (24 April 2018):
 If you choose this man, you are choosing a path that is going to have you crying, angry and heartbroken all the time. You are also choosing a path that is at the DIRECT EXPENSE of another woman and children.
He is really having the good life right now, while you two ladies are wasting your time. Do you realize that both of you are sacrificing your own happiness so that he can have everything? A family, a wife to care for him, and a woman to bang on the side?
And the worst part for you is that breaking up will barely hurt him at all - he has someone who is legally bound to him anyway. Breaking up WILL hurt you, since you have nobody else. I can see why this is hard for you.
Sister, time is a precious commodity and you are 100% wasting it on this lying, cheating, loser. You are in love with someone not worth a second of your attention and who will never love you as much as you love him, no matter how much he says it or what he gives you. Unless he shows up with a finalized divorce and probably some therapy under his belt, he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you, his wife, or frankly WOMEN as a whole. He has betrayed his family, and just by letting you give him your heart, he is betraying you.
You are worth more than this.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous1818 +, writes (24 April 2018):
Anonymous1818 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlready reevaluated everything We are so involved business ties us together even if I’m going to end this I still need to speak to this guy on daily basis I really don’t know what to do
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): Sorry, he's not all those sweet lovely things you've described. He's a two-timing cheating bastard. He is betraying his wife and family. He thinks with his penis, and you are just a piece on the side, until he gets caught. If he gets caught, he's going to choose his family. His wife is going to deny him that option.
She will first punish him by making him suffer through a lingering separation, and refusing a divorce, that will keep him edgy. You will see less of him. Then she will finally divorce him, and take full custody of the children. She will drag his cheating ass over the coals, as a smart wife should. He put his marriage on line, so is cheating on your wife worth it? No, he's none of all that good stuff you say he is. He's a piece of dirt waiting to destroy his family.
If you do win him. You'll always wonder when he was going to cheat on you. That's the karma. Oh, you haven't seen karma yet!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2018):
You know he really isn't your BF, right?
Because he CAN'T be a husband and a BF at the same time. And HE is SOMEONE else's husband.
You need to stop being selfish here. How about you put yourself in his wife's shoes for a minute? ( know you mention nothing about her because that isn't important to you as long as YOU get your needs met).
What goes around comes around, remember that.
As for the married man. What kind of low life would do what he is doing to TWO women? He isn't some great catch (when it comes to quality person and partner) He is a piece of shit for getting involved with you when he ALREADY has a partner.
Summer is around the corner so vacations, birthdays, BBQ's, family things are ALL the things in his life that YOU ARE NOT part of or welcome to. Because you are just a side-chick. THAT is all you are. I know that sounds harsh but look at reality.
I don't know why women CHOOSES to go for married men and then whinge about it later. If you KNEW he was married from the get go, then you CHOSE the misery you are feeling now.
Do you want more for yourself? A man who can ACTUALLY commit to you? Who wants you and no one else? Then you need to end it with this guy, cut all contact and work on moving on.
You are DE-EVALUATING yourself by being "the other women".
Delegating yourself to the crumbs this man will toss you. Sure he is riding high on the attention and affection you are giving, but only when it's CONVENIENT for him.
You know what you need to do. You just CHOOSES not to.
You know how it's going to end. Even if he DID leave his wife for you, his family wouldn't welcome you. You wouldn't be able to trust that he would be faithful to you, and he wouldn't be able to trust you either. It wouldn't be a happy ending with this guy. You wouldn't just ride off into the sunset with him and LOVE would carry you through... no, like it's a romance novel or Hollywood rom-com. There is nothing romantic about affairs and cheating.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 April 2018):
 The man is a liar, a cheat and a thief, he steals precious family time from his wife and family and gives it to you ....
You state you know this is a dead end relationship ... and then, to excuse the fact you are in it, claim confusion.
Face it, you are not confused, you know exactly what the score is here, so do yourself a favour and while he cant be with you for the next few months block him, delete his number, change yours, remove and block him from all social media, concentrate on your child who is probably suffering from a lack of attention from you at the moment because all you are focussing on is this married man.
You need to get over him and get over yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): He is not leaving his wife and family, you're a bit on the side to side track him from mundane life. Carry on and become more miserable or get yourself a man who is free to date. Be prepared for your married man to play games if you throw in the towel, he wants to have his cake and eat it.
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