A
male
age
30-35,
*NaNo
writes:look im a 15 year old kick boxer. i been with this girl ever since elementry i really like her. I broke her ex boy friends jaw and leg because he cheated on her and he hit her a couple of times. am I right or wrong.
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (19 September 2009):
 You made 2 mistakes.
1. You cannot be 100% sure that something is credible or not. You may think it is, but I believed that myself. I have had a woman come up to me and say someone raped her when that someone was unconcious while she was giving him a handjob. She met him in a crowded room, he passed out 5 minutes later IN that crowded room and she gave him an HJ then said he raped her, because she "didn't want to look like a slut".
Mistake #1- You reacted to something you did not see.
2. A woman will feel sorry for her abuser if they get beaten up. You have to take the high road and be mature about it by not hitting the abuser when there is no immediate threat to the woman. Believe me I know how doing that to an abuser feels. It feels great! However, you should only use enough force to minimize harm to a current abuse victim. Your actions would only be justifiable if he were to be currently beating the hell out of and hospitalizing her at that very moment.
Mistake #2- You used violence when violence was not absolutely necessary.
An alternative is to protect her from him if she feels threatened.
I have done that a few times myself. I wanted to break the guy's leg and jaw, but it would have made ME feel happy, not her. She left him so she could find someone that didn't feel good by being violent.
You are her bf so be there, protect her, and make sure no one fucks with her, but minimize force.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 All she will now see in you is violent and out of control. He should have you busted. Many relationships are messy at times and need to be sorted out by them. If someone else thinks you treated a woman badly...in their eyes will it be ok if they low your brains out. Be careful how you judge for your actions will come back to visit you.
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (28 August 2009):
I dont think you were in the wrong,
You reacted harshly, and its not your battle to fight, and how credible is abuse in elementary school . What the hell, did he push her in the sand box?
Seriously dude, its badass that you are a kick boxer, but save the confrontation for a situation that calls for it.
If my girl was wronged by an ex. I would react the same any, and Fck and one that says differntly. Any guy who loves his girlfriend, would do anything to protect and keep her safe.
-iydm
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A
female
reader, Ms.Helper  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You made yourself look younger than you actually are!
Beating someone up does nothing, has it changed the past? No.
You did it as an excuse to look 'hard' infront of a crowd. Grow up.
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A
female
reader, Jen, +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You were totally wrong.
Yes, what HE did was wrong - he cheated on his girlfriend which is no way to go.
But you shouldn't have got involved with it. Especially not with violence. Punching and kicking gets you no where.
Next time before your anger lashes out you need to ask yourself certain questions like, Does this involve me? Do I need to lash out?
Basic things that will stop you from bringing out the anger.
What your friends boyfriend did was wrong but it's up to the girl to stand up for herself not you.
Good Luck
Jen x
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Resolving violence with more violence is like saying "These fries are too salty, I'll add more salt."
I don't know how kick boxing is, but in karate you must never initiate combat, it's only for self defense.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I can see where your coming from, because any male who hits, disrespects women in this way deserve a good kickin, but, since it happened in the past before you were involved, it really wasn't your place to do so. He might end up doing you for an unprovoked assualt on his person!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Hell yeah you were wrong.This guy has actually done nothing to you. He mis-treated your ex but she is a woman and she will be able to stand up for herself maybe not physically but there are other ways besides hitting back.Dont get me wrong I think Id want to do the same , but I wouldnt let myself because Id be doing it for me and not her. breaking his leg and jaw makes you feel good. not her and definitely not him.Learn from this and dont do it again. Also as you get older if you pull a stunt like this then most women are likely to walk away and you my friend are likely to spend time in jail.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (28 August 2009):
 to be honest this doesn't make you any better than him.
ok so you're not hitting her but you've hit someone else and who knows that anger could turn to her.
so to be fair you're really just as bad as he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): For "terrible things to him in the past", I meant to say "terrible things to HER in the past".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Let me get this straight... I will assume the following, since you provided no details:They broke up already. You 'obviously' had the upper hand as you train in the martial arts. You went up to him, instigated a fight and then beat him up?I cannot say whether it is right or wrong, but I will say that what you did was uncalled for. So an ex of hers did terrible things to him in the past and you felt it was your right to go do the same things to him?Ever heard of the circle of vengeance? Thousand year old wars, because people keep trying to take revenge on each other. If you were my son, I would be disappointed. In my years, training in wushu, I was taught and reminded that my kung fu is used to protect. I do not instigate battles. I only counter them if the battle had already been instigated.Alas, I am not your teacher, nor your father. Only you can decide whether it was wrong or not. You will receive no approval from me.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 If you have been with her since elementary school then how can she have had an ex boyfriend?! That makes no sense!
Regardless, you have broken someone's leg and jaw therefore you are most certainly in the wrong. You have committed a crime and this guy could easily press charges for grevious bodily harm (I dont know what they call it in the US, maybe it might be something like an unprovoked assault).
Yes what he did to your girlfriend was wrong but she should have pressed charges against him for hitting her - the law should deal with people like him. You are not the law, you cannot just take matters into your own hands and go around hurting people. What he did was awful, but what you did was just as bad.
Kickboxing is great exercise and if you want to fight in a controlled environment as part of your sport then that is fine. But you cannot use your skills in kickboxing to attack other people, whatever the circumstances seriously hurting someone is wrong and you should expect their to be some serious repercussions for your actions.
Learn to control your anger and dont ever attach anyone else ever again, no matter what they have done to you or someone you care about. You will come across lots of bad people in life that do terrible things, but you have to learn that the law is there to deal with them and you cannot take things into your own hands. You must learn to walk away if you ever feel angry or if you want to hurt someone, you are better than they are therefore you dont have to resort to violence.
Her ex is a scumbag, but by attacking him you have lowered yourself to his level and now you are just as bad as he is. I dont know what else to say apart from dont ever hurt anyone again intentionally unless you want to spend a long time in jail.
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