A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18, left college, going to university in September, my girlfriend's 17.She's told me I must get her pregnant in the next few weeks. I told her this is just not going to happen, and I said I will leave the relationship if she attempts this.We've never even had sex in this relationship so I don't know why she wants me to do this. I've had sex, but with other girls, before I met her.She's now threatened self-harm and telling everyone she's pregnant by me - even though I know it won't be my baby because I've had self-restraint not to sleep with her.I feel like telling her parents about this, but worry about what my girlfriend's reaction will be.After all, don't they say "safety first"??She won't talk about this and seems desperate to be a teen mum. All I did manage to get out of her was "so she could claim benefits off the State! It'll be so fun, wheee!!!"I have told her I'm breaking up with her but she seems determined for me to be the father of her child.I did break up with her that same night, and she's now been phoning my mobile, and keeps being abusive down the phone. I feel glad I've left her now, the relationship didn't seem worthwhile now this revelation was out the bag...What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): she was obviously cheating and wanted to end it with the other man so she said she was preggers and is now in trouble so she needed you to get her pregnant
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): She may be pregnant by someone else and wants you to be
the father. Be very careful as she appears to be unstable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
You dodged a bullet on this one. Just stay away from her, tell her parents exactly what she asked you (and what you didn't do) and let the whole mess play out the way it has to. She's probably gonna get pregnant by someone else if you don't do it.
When that happens, just let her run her mouth all she wants. All you have to do is volunteer to pay for a DNA test yourself when the child arrives. And don't just say you are willing to take one because that leaves her the opening to say she can't afford it or something. Volunteer the money yourself to make it happen even if you don't really have the money. She won't want the test to happen so she won't call that bluff.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (25 August 2009):
 You sound like you have had a lucky escape from this one!
Seen as you have now broken up with her I think she will eventually leave you alone, it might take a couple of weeks but she will eventually get the picture. You are going away to uni so it doesnt really matter what she says to anyone back at home; once you have moved away you can forget all about it and if she has been saying stuff about you then they will all forget what she said within a week or two anyway.
As honeypie said, she sounds like she is terribly immature for a 17 year old and the reason for her acting like this is because she will have been scared about you going away to uni hence she wanted to have a baby to "keep" you so to speak.
I think what you need to do now is to delete her off facebook, myspace etc, delete her email address and change your phone number. Make sure she cannot contact you and that you cannot contact her either. Focus on going to uni - you will have an amazing time there and you do not want anything to ruin this, especially some silly little girl who is trying to trap you by making you get her pregnant!
You sound like a sensible guy with your head screwed on right so just leave her to it - she sounds totally nuts! Going to uni is such an exciting time and from experience I know that you are best being single when you go to uni; it allows you to have more freedom and you can spend all your time with your new friends rather than feeling guilty about not seeing your girlfriend.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I think that you should dump her, i mean what brought this on?! Why spend the first time you have sex getting pregnant? ! Maybe she cheated without a condom and wants you to think it's yours by having sex with her ( but that's probs just an insane theory! -sorry) Anyways i think that you should dump her.
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A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 I agree with Honeypie!
She does need help, seriously! Maybe she's kind of stressed by the fact that you're leaving for school, but to want a baby because of something like that is still ridiculous, if that's the case & then to outright lie and say that you've impregnated her is even worse. However, I do believe that you need to talk to her parents about this, keep your distance & change your number if possible. She seems like a very distressed girl & you don't need that going into college.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2009):
 I think she is a really immature girl. She might be 17 but her behavior seems more like a 12 year old... Pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing IS no FUN game. Besides she will ALWAYS end up spending WAY more money then the State gives her in assistance, so that is also ignorant of her.
I think it is a LUCKY thing that you haven't slept with her.
I would talk to her parents, she needs help. Really.
Block her from your phone. No contact. That would be my best advice. For whatever reason she might have been scared of losing you since you are of to Uni and she is still stuck at home. Maybe her train of thought was something like.. : "If we had a baby he would always be there for me."
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (25 August 2009):
 I would suggest you immediately confide in your parents or some other adult you trust and then you should contact her parents too.
I see two possibilities: Either your ex-girlfriend is pregnant by someone else and she wants to pin this on you, so she is trying to get you to sleep with her so she can claim the baby is yours or she has mental problems (threats of self-harm should set your alarm bells ringing). Either way, this is too big for you to handle yourself.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (25 August 2009):
 You did the right thing. Now you should just avoid her. If it gets worse, go to the police with your messages and get a restraining order. If it gets worse still, ie she claims you are the dad, demand a dna test.
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