A
female
age
30-35,
*ee-j
writes: this boy i like i told him i loved him and he said he loves me too. i was like omg he loves me, and he sed that he wants sex with me all the time and i said im scaird to and he said thers nothing to be afraid of. is that true i have nothing to be worried about? xx Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, 07crostona +, writes (23 November 2010):
ok look sex is not a scary thing it just you shoudt have it till your 16 and like the person seaid u need to make sure the 1st tkme is speccial make sure u realu love the person. and that is just my opinion
A
female
reader, Ms.Helper +, writes (26 October 2009):
i could tell you that i love you right now, does that mean you'll sleep with me?
how ridiculous.
they're the famous 3 words to lure you into bed, are you going to be another that falls for it?
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A
female
reader, Ask Reanne :) +, writes (29 August 2009):
I lost my virginity at 13 and tbh it was the biggest mistake of my life because i had only been with the guy 2 days. He forced me and he told me he loved me dont you think its a bit funny how you say you love him and he says it back then atomaticually asks you for sex all the time, something just doesnt fit here. tbh i jus think hes saying what you want to hear. Dont rush these things they take time, your first time is ment to be special and with the right person. When losing your virginity there is nothing to be afraid off just pregnancy and STI's but if the boy uses a condom then it should be fine. BE SAFE IN SEX! the only other thing too be worried about is you having sex with this boy and him leaving you because the feeling of being used is not nice at alll. i hope this helps, take care let me know how you get on, x0
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I'm not a big believer of fear. Fear makes us think irrationally. So should you be afraid of anything? No.
Should you be aware? Yes! Be aware of your consequences:
1. There are no females in my 42 years of living whom reported: "I had sex between the age of 13-15 and it was a wise choice which made me feel good about myself, and gave me direction, and increased my self assurance"
2. The one to have sex with is one whom is committed to you on every level: emotionally, financially, lifestyle, and dedicated in every way, even when you are not around. Having sex with a boy, while you are an adolescent, who just says there's nothing to be afraid of is like driving a car for the first time on a major interstate; you have no idea what will happen to you there and afterward, and you certainly have no skills to handle it.
By the way, you will find that almost every male under the age of 35 will try to have sex with you, and will have no intent of being your friend, thus leaving you eventually, and that's a promise. So it's best to deny males sex and hold out for a true friendship in which he respects you which happens one day at a time, and gets better and better the more you hold out on him.
3.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 August 2009):
If he says he wants to have sex with you all the time....then that is a warning sign that he is only interested in you for one thing!
Uncle Phil is right - there are lots of problems that can come along due to having sex. But when it is with the right person then no, it isnt anything to be scared of. But at your age, this wont be real love it will just be a crush. I am not saying you are too young for sex (in the eyes of the law you are but that is something for you to decide whether you are going to abide by or not). I had sex when I was 15 and I dont regret it, and I was 100% ready. But I had been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, we were very much in love and it felt so right. I wasnt at all scared, just excited and a tiny bit nervous.
So if you feel scared then that is a sign that you are not ready! Dont let this guy use you for sex - it really sounds like he is only after 1 thing and he would probably dump you once he had sex with you. The best thing to do is to wait until you are in a loving committed relationship for quite a long time and then wait and see if it feels right.
For now, just enjoy being a teenager and hanging out with your friends talking about boys. Sex is special and can be great but only with the right person and you need to be totally sure that he is the right person before you do sleep with them. Otherwise you will have lost your virginity to someone who doesnt care about you and you will feel used and regret your decision for a long time.
And if that wasnt enough to put you off - having sex from a young age hugely increases the chance of getting cervical cancer (that was how Jade Goody died). So the longer you put off having sex the better it is for your health!
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (28 August 2009):
I am not going to repeat all the precautions about safe sex, although they are very true. I want you to think about how drastically sex changes a relationship. Once sex is introduced especially at your ages, that's all the relationship becomes... sex.
This is the time to really get to know a person, learn about who he is deep down inside, his character, how he treats others and to experience romance and courtship. And its the time to share yourself as well but on this level, not the sexual level.
Telling him, no, that although you find him very attractive and appealing, but you are not ready for sex and likely will not be ready for a very long time... will provide you with invaluable information regarding his character and his true care and concern for you.
By saying no now, you run the risk of losing him, but if that's the case... well better to lose him now then after you have given him such a beautiful gift.
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (28 August 2009):
I lost my virginity at when I was your age. And it destroyed me.
I cried for weeks, and couldnt admit to myself what I had done. I mean you have no concept of love at 15. No real idea, and you dont need sex as a means to express how you feel.
Its sounds like he is just saying what you want to hear.
-iydm
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A
female
reader, Ms.Helper +, writes (28 August 2009):
Nothing to worry about apart from your boyfriend getting put in prison due to under age sex, getting pregnant, having an abortion, surely that's enough to put you off for the time being? Wait until your old enough, if he's worth it he'll wait around.
X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): No, nothing to be scared about at all except for unwanted pregnancy (could even be twins) deadly or nasty diseases, increased risk of getting cancer in a few years time, loss of self-respect and him running off in the opposite direction when your parents find out about it.
Save it for when it means something really special with someone you really love. Trust me when I say that at your age you don't have any idea what real love is. You will though, when you're a lot older.
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A
female
reader, Shanny96 +, writes (28 August 2009):
Looking at your age there is everything to be worried about. you really do have to be safe.. Condoms split and you have to be educated on sizes and how to put them on. You want your first time to be special and with the person you know is right and you know they love you more than anything. You say How do I know he isnt the right one? You know because when you actually love someone you get that funny feeling in your heart, the one you have never had before. You really do need to think about this, you do not want to say to your child.. you were an accident with a young kid who just wanted me for one thing. It seems to me if he is saying this, he is only in the relationship for that. He should be waiting until you are 100% ready and he should be telling you he loves you first!!!Please be safe.
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