A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am 40 yrs old and found a woman 35 yrs old online that is absolutely gorgeous and a wonderful personality to boot. We have shared pictures and personal information about ourselves and communicate really well. We have made out on IM and it was intimate. I am crazy for her and she is scared to commit because she was miss treated by men of which includes her ex-husband. She enjoys speaking with me and has indicated that there is something that continues to draw to each other and she doesn't seem to have a problem at all with opening up with me. however she has been burned by crazies on the internet that have been stalkers and boundaryless. i want her in my life permanently but we live in different states not too far away to catch a plane but do not want to scare her off because of past crazies. i do i continue to draw her in without scarring her away? i love chatting with her and want to get serious? i need some advice from someone because this is a unique situation. i have not ever believed in meeting someone through the internet but we seem pretty close already and i would like her in my life for keeps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): thnk u kc100. your advice solidified what i was thinking. however, i especially like the part about travelling to see her without making too complicated and making it basically a really nice 1st time to meet in person so she knows that i am not like everyone else. taking my time isn't as much of a problem as not seeing her or being around her. she is wonderful and so very beautiful that i have only the best intentions, but, i do think that i am falling for her and would like her to be around so i will definitely take it slow so that she is comfortable. once again thank u for your advice it really made things much more concrete for my decision making process regarding my new love interest.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I think all you can do is be honest with her - you obviously like her and dont want to mess her around so tell her that. There is not a lot you can do to make her more trusting of men apart from give her time, and show her in your chats and in your actions that you are not the same as all these other guys. Eventually she will see how serious you are about her - but you have to give it time. Dont try and push her in any way, just continue to talk lots, carry on what you have been doing and it will be fine.
I'm not sure how long you have been talking online but providing it has been for at least a month or 2, maybe suggest meeting up? Make sure that you are the one that goes to visit her (that way you are showing you are serious enough about her to spend the time and money getting to her city) and make sure you stay in a hotel rather than asking to stay at her place. For the first meeting you need to have your own space and not try and do too much in one go, so maybe just suggest dinner one night (ask her to pick a nice restaurant in the area).
I dont think it is worth asking her to get "serious" or to ask her to commit to you until you have met at least 3 times, you need to make sure your connection in real life matches your connection online first.
I think from the sounds of things your relationship is going well and you are doing all the right things, so basically just carry on as you are! The next step for you is to arrange to meet up in person, and then take it from there. Dont mention a serious relationship just yet, wait until you have met first and then see how it goes.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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