A
male
age
30-35,
*ikesOral
writes:So I have been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months now. I ask her if she wants to have sex and her reply is "I think I want to wait".How can I change her reply to a "Yes!"? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (16 June 2010):
Then respect her desciion or she'll leave you
A
female
reader, shynessreality +, writes (7 June 2010):
If your girlfriend wants to wait please respect her decisions,If you are confused as to why , calmly ask her. The best thing to do is not to pressurize her , as it will make her feel like you don't care about the way she feels about this.
I was abused by my ex because he didn't want to wait , and it still affects me to this day , the beast thing you can do is respect her wishes :)
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A
male
reader, Wiseguy555 +, writes (4 June 2010):
What you have is a serious relationship my friend, your girlfriend of eight months obviously sees greater potential for the two of you as a couple. If you really love her and respect her then you will wait for her, don't try to rush things. You just need to find other ways of enjoying eachother, you've made it this far ya know? I don't know how your guys relationship is quality wise, a serious relationship is NOT easy. It requires dedication, patience, honesty, integrity, love, communication, etc. Without these vital qualities it will only be more difficult. A serious relationship is about finding a middle ground that works for two people, you must compromise to meet eachothers needs. It won't always go your way but the same goes for her. Just keep loving your woman, if I were you I wouldn't even do oral.you must first reach a near maximum for emotional attachment for one another, then comes the sexual. I started sexual to soon, it didn't ruin us but it took some time to sit down and sort things out and make a decision. Sex won't be special if you disgrace the name, don't abuse it. After a while you might like waiting, if so go all the way till marraige. But that's pretty serious for right now so ya, hope this helped. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): If you push her too much, it be bye bye to your girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Be patient . It is like taking care of a plant. You will need to put more those flowering fertilizers to make it flower.
Love her more and earn her trust .Walk that extra miles for her.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 June 2010):
 You cant change her mind and if you really love her and care about her you will respect her decision. If you force her into sex when she is not ready this is pretty much rape - now you dont want that now do you?
I understand you are a teenage boy and your hormones are raging, and I bet a lot of the time all you can think about is sex - so it must be pretty tough to have a long term girlfriend that you cant have sex with!
You have posted a few questions recently about oral sex and things like that - so clearly she is letting you be intimate with her but she just doesnt want to go all the way. So you need to accept that this is her choice, and be happy that you are still being intimate together even if it is not full blown penetrative sex.
Sex (especially for a girl) is all about emotions, how that other person makes you feel - for her, espeically on her first time, it needs to be special otherwise she will regret it for the rest of her life. You might see it as just sex or getting laid, but she sees it as a precious thing that should not be given away easily. She clearly does not feel ready to have sex so you have to respect that choice, sex is a big deal and only that person will know themselves deep down when they will be ready.
So there is no point in coming back and asking "how can I make her feel ready sooner" - because you cant, it is something that comes from within her and cannot be rushed.
She will respect you more if you are patient and just wait for her, love her regardless of having sex or not, and want her for who she is, not what she can give you. If you make do with fooling around like you are at the moment, and just be patient then I'm sure eventually she will be ready. But if you love her and wany your first time to be with her then you will wait. If you cannot wait - well you dont love her and you are not right together, and it is a good job she has not had sex with you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (2 June 2010):
 You cant make her change her mind! its her decision, her body her rules. If you try to push her shes going to leave you, my boyfriend had sexual experience before me and i asked him to wait and he did. Saying its alright and that your perfectly fine with waiting will give her trust in you. When she is ready thats when she will decide to say yes, but you cannot make her.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (2 June 2010):
 You can only turn a woman on through experience. Someone telling you what to do/ not to do is going to get you nowhere. Find out what does it for her - be sensitive to the signals, you'll get there in the end.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CallMeDeth +, writes (2 June 2010):
Don't. It's her choice.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 June 2010):
 The only way you can change it is to handle your answer with grace and acceptance and prove to her that you're not after her for sex. If she's the same age as you, she may feel that she's not old enough to do it. And that's a valid consideration, because sex is FULL of risks. STD's, pregnancy (the latter a more profound risk for girls), men who are only after sex...you have a girlfriend who isn't easy and views sex as something very monumental between people who love each other.
I'm going to make an assumption based on the screen name you've chosen that you two have already engaged in some sexual activities. Respect her decision to wait. You'll be happy you did.
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