A
female
age
26-29,
*cared but want one
writes:Okay so this is considered wrong sometimes i guess. Okay so im 14 and I am going to be quite honest the guy i like 18 and he likes me to. My issue i giess is what other people say about it? In the State of Indiana i know that if someone has sex with someone at 14 even if its consentual if the other person is 17 or above they can be charged for rape. Well, i mean ive known this guy for the past year or so and im not exactly a really thin girl ya know? Im slightly larger in the middle and wear a C cup bra. Im not a virgin but "billy" is not real name. But you know what I mean? Like ive always been a little too mature for my age at seven i really didnt havee many fruends my age my best friend was 13(now a senior in highschool) i gave up all my toys by age 9. I was an early bloomer.when we firsr met at my church i was in a relationship i would like to date him but i dont want him to get into trouble. And he has deneided over 15 girls in the past month i mean thats alot over one year i really think he does have serious feelings for me and have seen too many friends be too blind sighted by teenage hormones. I really havt ever gotten along wit my dad or stepmom and u talked to my real mom about and she said that she wanted to meet him and as long as she approved of him and everyrhing cuz shes known him sunce ge was born but lost contact in recent years and after being married to my father for 8 years and his controling closed minded ways agreed thar if she approves i can date him and she wint tell my father:) but do u guys think this is a good idea? Do u think it soynds like he really has feelings for me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Thanks to all who have posted and are trying to help me with this it really is a tough desision and for the comment about spelling Im using my ipod touch and trying to type on this things isnt exactly easy lol. But i would like mention that this guy has already waited about a year for me and i dont want to make him wait and miss out on other girls his age. And for starters he is really into his christain faith he is still a virgin and all. But one id the comments mentioned about not being together forever and youre right i honestly can say thats one of the things i think about when i get someone my age is that you know very very rarely are people with the same person from 8th grade or so on i didnt plan on doing anything sexual as it is against christan faith to hve sex before marriage which i do regret. Its a tough desision i talked to him the other night about this situtaion and when i told him i wasnt sure if we should date now as its not a good idea he literally almost cried........and i felt so bad cuz i dont think its right for me to make HIM wait 4 years for me that seems very selfish but thanks and i hope that i can really can fund out an answer for this becausr its really stressing me and him out if couldnt imagine thanks again to all who commented i appreciate your help:)
A
female
reader, Kiryuu +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Well i have that same problem too. i am your age and the guy i like is 18 so we are alike! My friends always say never go out with a guy 5 years or older than you so i think you are free to date him just to do sex yet.
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A
female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (17 December 2010):
I don't think there would be anything wrong with you two getting together if you both like each other, you just need to be certain that he likes you and isn't going to play you around. However, I don't think sex between you two is a good option because, like you said, he could be done for rape. I suggest you make sure your feelings are true and be sure about them, just don't rush in to it. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, halloweenbaby10 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Hello I live in rhode island and I was 15 and my bf was 19 when we first started dating. I'm not 17 and he's turning 21 next month. U need to be careful , my boyfriend almost got charged when he was 19 for sagitory rape. But I was turning 16 in the same week where he was getting charged ( my step father is the one who caled to make the charges) but everything went good in the end because u have to be 16 to be able to give consent. I loved this guy and I knew he was the one so we fought for eachother. He almost went to jail for me, he's been in the aci for me. But be careful cuz I dropped out of skool for him and also left my family at 16 to live with him. It took a while for everything to cool down and be alright. But don't waste your time on this guy if he is really the one for you. Since your only 14 your soo young and he's 18 (legal adult now) you gota also think on the negative things that he could do. I'm not trying to put bad thoughts about him in your head because I don't know him but just be careful that you guys will be in a true relationship. What happens if you fall for this guy and he ends up liking an older girl? Or doing stuff behind your back? a ot of guys around 18 realy think about partying and sex and craplike that. So if you guys TRULY like eachother and are guna plan on staying in it for good then go for it but be careful because of the age difference. You would have to keep u guys as a secret until u r old enof to consent ...good luck!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 No it's not a good idea. Don't have sex with him until you are of legal age of consent or until you are 18 yourself. Even if your parents don't press charges, the state can charge him with statuatory rape even if it is consensual (you know that).
Regardless of feelings, I wouldn't date him right now, if he loves/cares for you that much, then he will wait for you.
If your parents don't care that you date him and you two DO NOT engage in sexual relations until you are eighteen or of legal age of consent, then there shouldn't be a problem.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (17 December 2010):
No it's not a good idea. Don't have sex with him until you are of legal age of consent or until you are 18 yourself. Even if your parents don't press charges, the state can charge him with statuatory rape even if it is consensual (you know that).
Regardless of feelings, I wouldn't date him right now, if he loves/cares for you that much, then he will wait for you.
If your parents don't care that you date him and you two DO NOT engage in sexual relations until you are eighteen or of legal age of consent, then there shouldn't be a problem.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I might also add, that it isn't impossible that you will be together until the day you die. It has happened before and it will again.
But statistically speaking, the odds against this happening are staggering... especially given the pace and demands of modern life, and divorce being so easy to get... and of course the ever decreasing ability of youth to sort problems out in favour of selfishly just moving on to the next person without ever trying to work on their problems properly.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Little tip... if you want people to take your claims of 'maturity' seriously, you might try using a spell checker before posting (or learning how to spell all on your lonesome).
Breaking up your block of text into smaller paragraphs also helps.
Just saying.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Doesn't sound like a good idea. Wait at least until you're 16 to decide. If you still like him then, you know it's for real and at a more mature age, people will respect your decision a lot more. I'm 18 and the thought of one of my 18 year old friends going out with a 14 yr old would make me feel pretty sick, mature of not. For his sake and yours, leave those feelings alone.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 No, it's not a good idea regardless of his feelings that anyway ,at 18, may be superficial, here today gone tomorrow.
If your close minded dad and stepmother find out and get mad, they can send him to jail. As you have pointed out yourself.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Well you havent mentioned anything about the guy himself or how he acts around you so I cannot say if he likes you or not.
However with the issue of dating him - I'm not sure if this will be a good idea to be honest. You are right, if you had sex it would be classed as statutory rape and he could go to prison, so it is not at all worth the risk.
But if you were certain that you would be happy to not have sex, and have no sexual activity whatsoever with him - and you were literally just 'dating' then that would just about be ok. 4 years is not a big age difference, but because you are still so young it means that the age difference is very important and could cause a lot of problems.
If you were 18, dating a 22 year old - that would be no problem at all. But because you are still very young chances are he could get into a lot of trouble if he dated you.
I guess it is up to you both to decide if it is worth the risk? You would NOT, under any circumstances, be able to have sex until you were 18 so could you stay together 4 years and wait for sex? So would you both be happy just dating and spending time together without doing anything sexual?
In all honesty I think it would be far easier if you didnt date him, it would be more trouble than it is worth, you dont want to risk him getting a criminal record and there are plenty of boys closer to your age that you could be dating instead.
Any boyfriend you have aged 14 wont last forever so it is not worth risking him having a permanent criminal record for some short lived teenage romance. So think about what this could do to his life, I dont think it is fair on him to put him into this sort of situation.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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