A
female
age
30-35,
*alloweenbaby10
writes:Hi I'm in a tough situation,I think I might be pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. My current boyfriend and I have been trying for a year for a baby and haven't had any luck. He cheated on me 3 times a while back and out of anger I went and cheated on him because it kept bothering me so much. My ex cummed in me, I haven't gotten my period and I'm afraid to find out if I am or not. I want to tell my boyfriend that I may be pregnant but idk if its his kid or my ex's kid. Am I able to pull it off as my boyfriend's baby? I love him so much and I have been telling him for a while for us to go to a sperm donor or something but he never responds. Now if he does find out I'm pregnant but not his idk how he would take it? He's been with a girl before for 9 years they broke up and got back together and she was 3 months prego with another mans baby. My bf stayed with her and he signed the birth certificate and cared for the child but then he met me and dumped her and we have been together since and we are doing good in our relationship now. Idk what he would do if he found out I was prego with someone else' baby!! Please help!! I don't want to get rid of the baby and I don't want to lose my boyfriend. Am I able to pull it off as his?Or lie and say I went to a sperm donor?Or make up a lie and say that I got drunk and had a one night stand, and I'm not keeping it? Then he will tell me to keep it but not sure if he would let me stay with him...Please please respond back to me I don't know what to do!My ex cummed in me 4 times...my boyfriend has cummed in me everytime we had sex and nothing ever happend and nothing ever happend with his exes either... Please if I am pregnent with my ex's baby please help me on this and what I should do! I plan on going to the doctors if my period continues not to show. If it doesn't come by december 3rd I plan on going to the doctors ! Please help me!!
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be pregnant, broke up, cheated on me, drunk, got back together, his ex, might be pregnant, my ex, one night stand, period, sperm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jbl2010  +, writes (22 December 2010):
If you wer my girlfriend i would want to tell me its my baby and keep me believing that and if i found out it was your ex's baby i would bring it up as myne own because we love eachover
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): How old are you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Put everyone else aside. You need to tell the truth for the sake of the baby. The baby deserves to know who its real father is. You want to be a mom and that means doing what's best for you child.
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A
male
reader, Liebes Kummer +, writes (17 December 2010):
It is indeed a difficult situation, not helped by the history of cheating and distrust between yourself and your bf.
It is certainly not a healthy relationship to have a child in, let alone bringing up a child.
Having said that, i am not pro abortion (unless for health reasons), find out if you are indeed pregnant. And i would echo what everyone has said; tell your bf the truth. You described your ex as being immature, what if your bf found out from your ex somehow? That would certainly make things worse.
What is done, is done, but, you need to start making some wise and intelligent decisions.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I'm with maverick494 on this one.
I don't understand why you want a baby, or why you are with a guy who cheated on you.
This doesn't sound like a good situation to bring you baby into.
If I were you I would leave your boyfriend and be a single mum. You don't have the time or the energy for this rubbish very soon.
You and your boyfriend both sound like teenagers, not parents."I slept with my ex because my boyfriend cheated on me." Does that really sound like responsible behaviour?
Your age says 18-21, why are you trying to get pregnant? Do you even have the finances set up for this, or will this child be payer for out of taxes?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): You might not be able to keep on lying forever, as, what if the baby looks just like your ex, or acts like him ?. Your boyfriend is bound to figure it out, that is, if you are still with him when your child gets older.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 December 2010):
The very first thing you need to do is get tested. You're not even sure if you're pregnant yet, so get tested and see whether you are or not.
If you are, there are several very good reasons to tell the truth here.
1 - It would only be a matter of time before he found out. In the world we live in now, he only has to suspect for one second and he can get a DNA test. On top of that, if your child is ever ill and they check for diseases or illnesses in families, it will soon become clear that he's not the father for the same reason.
2 - He knows you cheated. He may suspect something. Men aren't stupid when it comes to whether they're fathers or not. We can do the maths just as well as a woman can when working out who may be the father.
3 - He cheated on you several times, and you cheated on him with an ex. There is no way that you two are suitable for each other. You need a stable home for your baby, and the home you're living in now is anything but stable. He'll just cheat again, and again.
4 - He went back to an ex, and ditched her when he found out she was pregnant. He'll probably treat you with the same courtesy.
5 - If you don't tell him now, and keep this a lie, later in life it will come out. Then you'll have a very angry boyfriend, and worse, a messed up and very angry child. Your child will consider you a liar, and you'll be hated by it. I've never met a child yet who has forgiven being lied to by a parent. Children are not overly forgiving. This could mess up your child.
Overall, your relationship with this guy has been a disaster so far. That means it will continue to be a disaster whatever happens. The problem now is that you may be bringing an innocent life into this mess. And that's wrong. Find out whether you're pregnant, and if you are get a DNA test done and tell him the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): No alternative here than to tell the truth. Your boyfriend deserves to know if the baby is not his, he may well love it as his own given the chance though. But to pass the baby off as his would be very cruel and he would find out in the end one day no doubt. DNA tests these days mean you can't hide these things for long.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 December 2010):
I missed your follow up (it takes some time for answers to get posted around here) so that's why my answer is off. Still, I stand by what I said.
Some questions for you:
1. If your ex is so immature, why did you go to have unportected sex with him in the first place?
2. how can your bf "love you so much" if he cheated on you so many times?
3. And how can you love him if you cheated on him?
4. How can you two even trust eachother?
5. What's in stock for the future if you can't be loyal to eachother now?
6. Why in the world do you even want a baby?
I know you are young, but this messing around is just plain stupid. (not just you, your bf and your ex take just as much of the blame for this little trainwreck.) Please think about all of that before you do something you will regret the rest of your life. Sorry if I sound repetitive, but all of this just seems so wrong.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Please do not try to pass the baby off as someone else's child. Secrets don't stay secrets very long, and its very likely that your boyfriend will find out. The longer you wait to tell him, the worst it will be. I hope for your sake that you are not pregnant. It sounds like you and your boyfriend need to work on some issues before bringing a child into things. Please tell the truth if you are pregnant. The guilt will eat you up inside eventually if you don't come clean.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 December 2010):
Let me get this straight: your current bf cheated on you 3 TIMES and you went and got revenge by getting busy with your ex and now you might be pregnant? I'm sorry but I'm not really seeing the love in this relationship. This seems very toxic and lying about the baby would top it off as the ultimate disaster.
To be honest, I would probably abort the child if it was there, end the relationship and start off with a clean slate as a single. Seriously, neither of you seem ready to commit to eachother, let alone carry the responsibility of a child.
Plus both your bf and your ex have the right to know who the father is if you do decide to keep it. But I strongly advise against it. I'm not pro abortion, but if it prevents a child from being born in very unfortunate circumstances, it would be better. You need to grow up and know what you're doing. Babies aren't just cute little things you can cuddle. They need parents to care for it and love it 24/7.
Sorry if I sound harsh but you wanted advice. If my answer displeases you, feel free to ignore it, but realize not everyone will sugercoat it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Well even if the ex doesn't want anything to do with the baby...that is still no good reason not to tell your current bf the truth. TELL HIM PLEASE. He should know the truth....do not be selfish and only think about what you want or don't want in this situation. Your unborn child also needs to know the truth as well......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Please don't think about yourself....don't even think about the boyfriend..think about the BABY!!! That child has a right to know who his or her REAL father is. Do not be selfish...please don't hide this even if it means the boyfriend leaves you....the child deserves to know. Also, you don't want the boyfriend thinking the child is his either so it is best to tell him the truth as well.
Seeking revenge in relationships always backfires with negative results. Yeah...your bf cheated, but if you decided to stay with him and work things out then why cheat?
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A
female
reader, halloweenbaby10 +, writes (17 December 2010):
halloweenbaby10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi I am the one who posted this I forgot to mention that my ex does know! And he said he wanted nothing to do with it and we didn't have sex 4 times, we had sex once and he claims that he finished 4 times.. But you are right! I'm going to come clean to my boyfriend and see what he decides. I know he loves me and if he truly does then he will make this work between us. My ex wants nothing to do with me and mind you he is really immature to begin with. So thankyou for your answers,although please keep some advice comming my way! Its helping me with my thoughts!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): He will find out eventually if you lie about it. Plus, you are lying to your child aswell. I doubt anyone with a conscious could live with that.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 It would be VERY wrong if you tried to pass it off as your boyfriend's baby - you cannot try and fool him into him into raising another man's child, and it is also not fair on your ex because this could well be his child, this child is 50% his genes therefore he has the right to know about it.
It seems to me like your relationship is a mess, there has been cheating on both sides so you just need to come clean about what happened. If you really do 'love' each other like you say, and because you forgave him 3 times for cheating then maybe he will forgive you.
If I am being honest I think this is obviously not love because you dont cheat just because you were angry with him for doing it to you - this relationship is just an immature game of pointscoring against each other. If you loved him you would not cheat - simple as that. You say you are worried about losing him, did you not think about that when you had sex with your ex 4 times? I mean really, how do you expect us to take you seriously when you had unprotected sex 4 times and then claim you dont want to lose your boyfriend?!
All this cheating, ex's, trying for a baby, him abandoning his ex and his step-child for you.....it has just been bad right from the word go and I can tell you this now - you are not meant to be together, this relationship is not working and it wont last. Not that you will listen to me mind you, but the fact is that you both dont love, respect or value each other enough to be faithful.
But all that aside - the only thing you can do to make this right is first of all come clean to your boyfriend that you have cheated on him and are now pregnant. Lying to him about not cheating, and then telling him it is his baby - that would be the lowest of the low. Once you have told your boyfriend, give him some time to think while you go and tell your ex about the baby - he deserves to know it could be his. Then after that, make your doctor's appointment and also ask them about a DNA test, I'm pretty sure these can only be done once the baby is born but it is a good idea to get one set up shortly after the child is born so you will know once and for all who the father is.
But please, please do not lie and make this worse than it already is. Come clean, to everyone - and hopefully your honesty will pay off and it will work out ok for you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (17 December 2010):
 No, you should not lie to him. He deserves to know the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): You need to tell your boyfriend the TRUTH. He cheated so he may be more likely to forgive you. Think of the baby for a second here, you will want him/her to know who their real father is, you are panicking at the moment but in the future you will want to know who the real dad is. Tell your boyfriend okay
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Tell him the truth! Hiding this from him would be despicable.
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