A
female
age
36-40,
*rincess Aunty
writes:Hello to all.i have posted a question here. it was to know whether my cousin is interested in me. i have got 2 answers which tell me 50 % he likes you and 50 % he likes you but like a cousin. so i have still some doubt which i want your advice in order to come to a conclusion. if you want to check my last question to know the whole story please follow this site :-http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-cousin-interested-in-me.htmlplease help.so here are the points i would like to be noted :-1. we went together at a relative place in his brother's van. he sat behind me. However on the way to return, there was a lot of bags. he told my uncle to put the bag on the back seat and he was choosing to sit on the seat next to me. There was a ladder which was causing him difficulty to put the seat straight however he managed to get it straight and sat next to me. Now the question is that he could have put the bag next to me too and sat behind.2. On the way my little niece sat on me, her hair was irritating me, so i slowly pull it aside. to tease back he re put her hair just where it was and pull the hair a bit strong. so my niece turn to me ( she thought i pulled her hair, i just smiled at her saying nothing)3. His mum asked him to open the window which he did and then turn to me asking if am feeling cold, i just smiled so he closed the window a bit.4. when we reached our destination, he took 3 bags with him which was quite big though i asked him to give me one. he said its ok he will carry them. i insisted. he refused. i gave him a weird stare. he teased me ''oh you are going to beat me or what''.5. since he was carrying 3 bags, i walked in first and open the door to give him space to enter. however he came behind me. i asked him to go. he told me to go me.6. Now we made a plan out to go to the cinema among cousins. however my cousine did not want to go so my mum would eventually not let me go. he told me to try making my cousin agree to go.7. now his brother was making the decision to go and watch the film tonight, he told me that he would go with his brother but he will go with us too which will be the day after tomorrow.8. When he chatted me he again called me sweetheart.9. while chatting with him, i told him that the night when we had gone to that relative house, my leg was paining since i carried my niece the whole route, he teased me and said you could have told me i would massage your legs. Can you please tell me if these points means he likes me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I agree i think he was just being a gentleman towards you, however yes the part about massaging your leg would raise suspition, but i think you need to get those thoughts out of your head and look to date other guys, as dating your cousin would be wrong on a lot of levels, he is a member of your family and that is how it should stay.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): He's just being polite and flirtatious, as part of a natural cousin relationship.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Aside from that comment about massaging your legs, all other 'evidence' is merely how a playful person would behave around others. That comment does raise suspicion but I think you might be over-analyzing all else, such as how he placed the bags, him taking those actions are meaningless at best. Watch his behavior and then judge. In all honesty though, I would not pursue any relationship with this person, your cousin. The only love that should be shared between you is the sort of love one family member has for another and nothing more, nothing less.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I don't see anything here other than a loving family connection. I don't think he likes you in the way you're thinking. It's possible, but I would doubt it.
It is best if you don't pursue this.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Well let me just say this first - I am not sure how cousin marriages are regarded in your culture, I am presuming that it is quite normal but you must understand that obviously my answer will be from a western perspective where cousin marriages are frowned upon, and in some countries, it is illegal.
There are very good reasons why you should not have a relationship with your cousin - purely for the fact that you are doubling your risk of having a child born with illnesses/deformities if you do have a family together. If you never intend to have children then having a relationship with a cousin is fine, however if you want children then I do not see why, when there are 6 billion people on this planet, that your cousin is the only one you must date. Why not forget about your cousin and if he is interested, and concentrate on finding a man outside of your family which means you will reduce your risk of having a child born with birth defects due to genetics.
Just to summarise the key points about first cousins having children:
- the overall risk to first cousins having children rises to about six in every 100 births, i.e. double the risk in the general population.
- there is a potential health risk arising from recessive genetic disorders (basically families often carry certain genes that are defective and when two people of the same family have the same defective genes it comes out fully in the child. If you had a child with a non-carrier outside of your family then the defective gene would remain dormant and never show itself - hence why they are deemed recessive disorders - they are hidden until two carriers come together and have children).
- Overall the health risks to the child when first cousins are the parents are around the same as the health risks that come with increased maternal age (an older woman having children, which medically they put at 35+).
So yes there are definitely health risks, generally double the risk compared to non-family members aged under 35. When you think it is DOUBLE the risk compared to non-family members, you need to take it seriously.
I do not understand when you have the choice of millions, if not billions of people, why you would deliberately persue your cousin. It makes no sense to do so - so my advice to you is to stop worrying about if he likes you or not and go out and find a man that is not part of your family, so you can have a good future with less risk of birth defects if you choose to have a family.
But if you are adamant you must know if he likes you or not - I would say 90% of those 'points' would indicate that he is not interested, and he is just a kind, caring man who likes to be a gentleman around women. The only one point that might suggest he likes you is the massaging your legs comment - but you cannot be sure just from that one comment.
So the only real way to resolve this is (if you must) go out with him, just the two of you alone and see how he acts around you then. If he is flirty and comes onto you - then he is interested. If he acts like normal - not interested.
But apart from that I cannot help any further - I cannot go inside his head and find out how he feels. You either need to spend time alone with him, or just ask him how he feels about you. That is the only way to know for sure.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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