A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys and galsi have a problem...a major one...my girlfriend wants to have sex with me!First of all why now? im fourteen for goodness sake and second of all i don't really love my girlfriend anymore i was going to break up with her today because i think this relationship is a little one sided. Also i don't want to have 'fun' yet i hate doing things behid my mothers back and she in a real tough time lately and what REALLY pissed me off was she send it in the middle of my maths class it was on vibrate so i was lucky but my vibrate kinda loud so... and she made it extremmly detailed half the stuff she put on there i didn't get and she included things which make me feeling full of hate and anger for example:Oral sex i know what that is and i feel kinda werid i mean licking and sucking my gf boobs and so on it makes me feel dizzy and i feel like well i don't know...BJ - whats that ?Anal sex - whats that ?and she wrote a list of 7 things which she wanted which i'm too embarresed to give...also i feel sick and digusted she's so heartless and asking for things which i refuse to give But i don't want to blow my girl's self esteam so i'm kinda stuck she very brave and i think of her as a pirate but she's a little hot headed toohelp guys i don't know what to do and its tomorrow so if there and thing i'm sure it'll help sorry its kinda long.thanks.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Ok - first of all keep in mind that aged 14 it is illegal to be having sex and you are right in being concerned by everything she has said to you, it is best to wait until you are older when a) it is legal and b) you feel totally ready for sex.
Now this is just for informative purposes only (I really advise you against trying these things for now as they are best handled by adults who know what they are doing and are more sexually experienced):
1. BJ - this is a blow job, a.k.a Oral Sex. Basically the female puts the penis into her mouth and stimulates the man this way.
2. Anal sex - having sex in the anus (i.e. bottom, bum hole, whatever you want to call it). Generally the way that gay men have sex (due to the lack of a vagina, so this hole is the next best thing) and has caught on in the straight community as a new sexual activity to experiment with - very difficult to get right and can be painful.
I'm not sure why your girlfriend has started all this now - there could be a number of reasons. Maybe her friends have all started talking about having sex, maybe even some of them have had sex (or at least are pretending they have as some teenagers can do) so she has got it into her head that she needs to start doing this too (peer pressure basically). Or maybe she has just started to mature quicker than most and is becoming interested in sex. Who knows!
But regardless of why she is acting like this, the fact is that you are not comfortable with it and you need to tell her. It wont hurt her self esteem, I promise - you just need to explain that you are just not ready for sex yet and want to wait a while longer before you even think about this sort of stuff.
If you say you dont love her anymore, then I think the kindest thing you can do for her is to end the relationship - you should not string someone along when you no longer feel the same way. You will only hurt her more if you stay with her when you dont love her, the best thing to do if you dont want to be with her is just to be honest and break up with her.
So I think first things first, break up with her. And then try not to worry about sex and all these things, you clearly are not ready so until you are really in love with a girl and feel totally ready then just put it to the back of your mind.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, Jessypj +, writes (21 December 2010):
Hey there!
I think you need to tell her she's going way too fast, you're still so young! I can't believe she would be talking about anal sex at such a young age, I didn't know what that was till I was about 15!
She might just be saying All this because she thinks it's what you want and she feels inexperienced. You're both obviously not ready sit her down and tell her that, you'll probably get a better reaction than you think
Hope this helped x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Tell her youre just not ready for the sexual things she has listed out. That is completely understandable my man. Youre young and inexperienced and looking to ease in to things. My guess she may not understand that and thats simply because of immaturity and her physical needs are in front of her mental needs. Our bodies are ready for sex before our minds and here it seems like youre not letting your hormones do the talking. Good for you! Tell her kindly and firmly that youre not ready and then proceed to address your concerns with the relationship. Good luck here pal!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): She is very much experienced in it and if you give in it, you may be victim to such new ugly things which you don't like already, and also there are chance of STDs diseases so be aware of it say NO it, any how she continue with her bad habits with anybody
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