A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I just started to go out with my girlfriend, and she seems like the greatest girl in the world except for one huge problem. At times she can be very sweet and caring and there are other times where she can be very judgmental. She said she has only been with 5 guys in the past and they have all cheated on her and she broke up with them. Her relationships have been very long compared to mine. I have only gone out with one other girl very briefly. The trouble is she wants to wait a while to have sex and I completely agree. The reason being is she wants to show me that she is not that type of girl. However, here is my issue, I look down at my penis and think its very very small. I have only had sex 4 times with 2 girls and Im 21. My size is about 5'' maybe 5 1/2". Part of me feels like I should off "fucked and chucked" her because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I don't want to be hurt based on my penis size. When I had sex before one girl called me a useless lay because it was my first time and I was a quick shooter. My question is can sex or my penis size ruin my relationship? Everything else is going along great.
View related questions:
broke up, my penis, penis size Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (17 December 2010):
 The others have given some really useful advice, so I'll keep this short:
a) 5 inches is absolutely fine.
b) Cumming quickly is a massive compliment in my book, at least.
c) A good strategy if you're a regular quick cummer is to finish, use your mouth and fingers to stimulate the girl until you're ready to go again. If you're not the sort to go again within around half-an-hour, do the stimulation thing first.
d) Any woman who belittled a man for his size is a very insensitive, cruel woman. That's what women call a man who would tell a woman she wasn't 'pretty enough' and it applies in the other direction too. You're better off without.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (16 December 2010):
 It's not the size of it, but it's how you use it. Yes, that is an over-used metaphor it it is completely true.
Good sex comes with experience and getting to know your partner both emotionally and physically. The honest truth is don't expect sex to be good until you have sex with your partner multiple times.
And as for newbies... it's not unusually to blow your load very quickly. It takes time and experience. And finally, you're size shouldn't matter. Only an incredibly selfish and careless woman would complain about you being too small.
...............................
A
female
reader, Weeble  +, writes (16 December 2010):
Sex is a skill, much like riding a bike, learning to drive or juggling. Nobody is perfect at these things without practice and sex is exactly the same. EVERYONE is rubbish their first time and part of the fun is learning how to make each time more fun than the previous. There are people with small penises who know how to please a woman sexually. There are people with large penises that don't have a clue. Size really really isn't the important factor in sexual skill: communication is. Listen to how she likes to be touched and where, how she likes to be kissed and held. Focus on foreplay (remember the penetrative bit is not the most fun bit for most women, the foreplay is) and most of all, relax and enjoy each other. Then later in the evening, enjoy round 2 and you'll find you naturally last longer. Much about stamina is mindset, nerves, stamina practice and length of time since last ejaculation.Your first partner was a bitch to you. Please don't fret about size (men worry about this far more than women do) or performance, just be yourself and enjoy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): From what I've been told by girls there's nothing worse than a guy giving up because he couldn't get it right, then turning away in a huff and having to be consoled and told it's okay. Or doing the same because he came too quickly then felt dejected and useless. As you can imagine that's not exactly a turn on for a woman.
You ejaculate too quickly you laugh and blame her for being too sexy then you go down on her until you're ready to go again.
You don't get it right, you change your motion, your angle or change the position until you do.
You want this girl and you want her to feel pleasure so you don't let failure get the better of you, you take it as a challenge because if it takes you forever you're not going to stop until you blow her mind.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Don't let that virginity slut ruin this relationship. She was a bitch or in the least insensitive. Of course you were a crap lay, it was your first time. How many things were you completely brilliant at the first time you did them?
She wants to take this slowly to show you she's not a tramp, well only a tramp would have a problem with inexperience, she won't mind helping you learn. The good thing is that she probably knows what she likes done and can show you what to do.
Penis size is irrelevant, as long as you learn how to use it.
"fucked and chucked" is the most stupid thing I've ever heard by the way, because that would only hurt you even more. I mean you would do that and not feel bad? Or not wonder if you just hurt a girl that could've been "the one"?
How are you supposed to gain experience if you only sleep with a girl once? Have one crap night of sex because you don't know how she likes to be touched or ever learn what works on women because you never take the time to find out because you're too scared of being crap.
Dude I've been sexually active over 10 years, there are some things that most women like and some that like things done differently. Each woman is different, so even after 10 years I can have sex with a woman and it be crap because she likes it rough, or she likes it slow and sensual or she wants to be dominant or thrown around a bit, but the more sex we have the better it gets. Practice makes perfect.
Even though me and my girl have been having sex 4 years and I know her backwards and inside out. I can have an off day too.
My trick is I learned how to give amazing head. Seriously the first time I'm sexually intimate with a girl I give her head, bring her to orgasm that way, finish her before I even start, after that most women don't care if the intercourse is crap or not they just want you inside them. Even if it is crap most will fake it as a reward for giving good head. Well in my experience anyway.
If it is crap then you go down on them again, bring them to climax again and by the time you have you should be ready to try intercourse again.
The point is to keep going with confidence, you've nothing to feel insecure about because it's easy and fun to learn.
Plus you could always just do a bit of research on technique and positions. In my experience there's nothing better for a woman in that situation that a guy that knows what he wants and is willing to experiment and find the right combination to the lock.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Your penis size had nothing to do with you being a useless lay, although those were very unkind words to hear after your first time.
Don't worry about your size. It will be plenty for the vast majority of women. Ask for guidance in how to please her.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Well lets be realistic here - yes SEX can ruin a relationship (as in bad sex or a lack of sex) however it is highly unlikely that penis size would ever ruin a relationship (unless it was 3inches or smaller!).
5 inches is fine - Although there is wide anatomical variation, the length of the unaroused vagina of a woman of child-bearing age is approximately 2.5 to 3 in across the front, 3.5 in long across the posterior wall (rear). During sexual arousal the vagina expands in both length and width, but it is thought that it does not expand to much more than 4-5 inches. Therefore if a man's penis is any bigger than 5 inches it just hits a woman's cervix and can be painful, or you simply cant fit the full penis inside her.
So really, any more than 5 inches is a bit of a waste (not all girls would say that, but then again girth is actually just as important as legnth, if not more) so you dont have anything to worry about with your penis. It is NOT small and most girls would be very happy with the size of your penis, as long as you know how to use it.
Now back to sex - bad sex can lead to a bad relationship because you can be left unsatisfied if sex is continuously bad and never gets better. But remember this - you are young and inexperienced, and the more you have sex the better you get. Practice makes perfect!
All you need to remember is this - foreplay! Even if you tend to orgasm quickly during sex, this will be irrelevant if you have spent enough time on foreplay before sex and have maybe even made your girlfriend orgasm before you have sex. I know I personally always enjoy sex more when I have had a clitoral orgasm before I have sex with my boyfriend, it hightens the sensation and obviously lubricates everything down there more.
You can do a heck of a lot with your hands and tongue, believe me! So dont worry if at first you are not amazing in bed, no-one is at first and I am sure that she will want to please you just as much as you want to please her.
So when it comes to the time to have sex, maybe take it slow and just fool around first before you go all the way. Get really good at everything else before you go ahead and have sex, so you can get her really turned on and excited so that she will orgasm from sex quicker too. And there are things you can do if you are really worried about ejaculating too soon - they make condoms with a numbing agent in them (thats the best way I could describe it!) - it is like a fluid in the tip of the condom I think that reduces the senstation in your penis so you dont get as excited so soon. You still get to cum, but it just takes longer for the sensation to build up.
Having sex with condoms is very important anyway, so maybe pop to your local pharmacy or supermarket and see what range they have and they should have the ones I am talking about.
But most importantly - try not to worry so much! The more nervous you are about your performance, the worse your performance you will be. So try and relax as much as you can, take it slow with her and learn what she really likes, so you can please her in more ways than one!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (16 December 2010):
 If everything else is perfect the size of your manhood really shouldnt matter.Some women will tell you that size matters and others will say it doesnt so theres no right or wrong answer.5.5 inches is about average, its not massive, its not tiny so stop worrying. You sound like youve slept with at least one very insensitive woman so its understandable that youre worried right now.The point is, your new girlfriend is taking her time to get to know you so its likely that she will view sex in exactly the same way.The earth wont move each and evey time you make love - thats actually a bit of a fairytale. Just try to forget about sex and carry on getting to know the girl. That way, when you do end up naked together, youll both care enough to take your time to arouse and enjoy each other.Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 If everything is going along great then size doesn't matter. You are normal. It's always difficult when you are learning about sex and relationships. I think you have learnt so far that rushing into sex for the sake of it doesnt do much for your self esteem in fact some girls can crush you when they comment on your performance or size. The art of sex with a partner whom you lovingly care for can take quite a while to be perfect for you both so rushing in to anything is not a good idea. Take things slowly and everything else will develop normally. It's normal to be a quick shooter as well, again these are the skills that you can develop over time.
...............................
|
