A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My on/off boyfriend and I have been through a lot the past 5 years. We are closer now than ever, support each other, have the same views etc. He is moving to NYC in a couple weeks, a long time dream of his. And I could not be happier for him, I would never hold him back from an opportunity to experience things. I was totally cool with it, I rationalized the fact that he needs to live his dreams and I need to live mine and what ever happens happens.Until the past few days. I am afraid he's going to meet some hot, cool, cute, smart, beautiful New Yorker. I have remained tight lipped about my concerns. There's not telling the future but..does anyone ever come back from nyc?anyone else have a similar experience?and then I wonder if he truly loved me would he risk loosing me while he's gone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 June 2015):
 I guess that's explains why it has been on and off. He knew one day he would leave for New York so he could not fully commit his heart to you. He loves you enough to let you go, and he loves you as a person but as far as sharing life goals together, you are not compatible. You can of course keep in touch by phone but when you don't see each other enough, and have plans to get married one day, then the relationship will drift apart. Even for married couples, when one of them moves away for work, they can't survive the distance because it totally negates the meaning of marriage, which is togetherness.
A
male
reader, Henry1980  +, writes (9 June 2015):
I can't answer about whether anyone ever leaves New York I've never been!However on your boyfriend, why would you think he would ever want to lose you given what you say about your relationship with him. I've had to move away from a girlfriend for work reasons, and I definitely did not want to lose her and definitely still loved her. He will be excited about his new job and maybe the new place but it sounds like he will still want to be with you. Don't worry, focus on what you have together and on making this work as a relationship- that might need you to visit him and him to visit you, it might need thinking about how to do the long term thing, like emails and letters and phone calls but it doesn't mean anything is over.Oh and incidentally for me, a girlfriend is much more important than a city!
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