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I fell for my friend's ex but I think she was using me to get back at him because he cheated on her with a friend

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2015)
A male Nigeria age 36-40, anonymous writes:

so i once asked advice about dating my friend's ex-girlfriend. it was well adviced here on cupid.we kept chatting though and we were getting too serious but stil not officially dating. long story short maybe she got talking with my friend again and he in turn reached out to me,telling me how he still had hopes of getting back with her and asked if i had a thing for her. he expressed his fears she might have fallen for me just because she told him she respected me a lot for me,still dont know why or how i came into their conversation. he ended up telling they broke up because he cheated on her with her own friend. i arrived at the conclusion that she must have wanted to use me get back at my friend and pay him back exactly the same way. i got so vexed and i rushly told her i would cease being friends with her,she insists i must tell her why. i dont ever want to talk to her again,but again i miss her already,like i really have fallen for her. i ensured my friend i wouldnt hurt him that way. was i rash? what do i do now?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think going after your friend's ex is NEVER a great idea. Specially one that likes to play games and I DO think... she was using you to get back at him. NOW she may also have liked you (still like you) but I think she wanted HIM to feel what SHE felt.

Secondly, she jumped straight from him to you without really processing and dealing with HIS betrayal and the break up so you are in essence... a rebound.

Just cut the contact, she KNOWS why.

And next girl you fall for and date... let it be someone none of your friends have dated. Less drama.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (9 June 2015):

janniepeg agony auntIt's possible she's using you to get back at him, it's also possible she wants to feel needed and admired, the way she can't get it from her ex. Her confidence was shot after he cheated, and you are the closest person she can get too to feel better again. I don't think you are rash. You don't have to explain to her why you don't want to talk to her again. She knows why, she's just trying to lure you back in and doesn't want to cut off contact. You have to let the two get over each other by themselves.

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