| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Getting married soon and have proof that he slept with an ex while on business!
Q. Dear friends, I'm getting married in September. My fiance has been on a business trip and i have firm evidence that he slept with his ex girlfriend. I really dont know what to do and how to react. Shall i confront him? Shall i even cancel my f...
A. 20 August 2010: I'm not sure what you should think or what I would do. The fact that he's trying to excuse it shows a pretty big lack of remorse. It's good he came clean though. It's really your call. All it really comes down to is do you think you can ever trust ... (read in full...)
Pandora's Box
Q. Im not sure wether this is fair to my loved girlfriend or not; Yet we recently discussed her sexual past for she brought it up. In the process she explained that she has had a number of sexual partners she didn't want to give me the number but she ...
A. 14 August 2010: "Women like sex too."
Thank you! Yes it's true. Me and all my friends quite like sex. Actually my sex drive is higher than my boyfriend's. Two my friends are the same.
In fact recently people have started to realize that once social stigma is taken... (read in full...)
FWB, but tired of putting myself out there and always getting hurt.
Q. I have been talking to this boy for over a year. He has asked me out in the past but now he is with someone else. He says he loves me and cares about me and I love him. I wanna be with him but I dnt think he feels the same. We're friends with ...
A. 14 August 2010: I have to agree with q. The only time I've ever had a successful friends with benefits situation was when I truly 100% had no emotional investment whatsoever. I genuinely felt no different if he slept with someone else (so long as he used a condom). ... (read in full...)
He's with his ex and sneaky. How can I get him to stop dating her?
Q. bad news!!! my best guy friend who i have a major crush on just got back together with his ex. i dont know if he is tricking me or if he is telling the truth. it is the middle of the summer, he goes to his friend's house and my house, so how did he ...
A. 14 August 2010: You can't change anything about him, but you can change who you hang out with. This guy sounds like a real scumbag to me. The kind who manipulates girls so he can get a cheap thrill out of feeling powerful. I really would try to find ways to ignore ... (read in full...)
He's with his ex and sneaky. How can I get him to stop dating her?
Q. bad news!!! my best guy friend who i have a major crush on just got back together with his ex. i dont know if he is tricking me or if he is telling the truth. it is the middle of the summer, he goes to his friend's house and my house, so how did he ...
A. 14 August 2010: He's not trying to trick you, he's dating her and no you can't break them up. Why would you want to be with a "sneaky guy [who] lies a lot?" And as for telling the truth, he's telling the truth. Guys are more straightforward in this regard usually. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to choke him during sex.
Q. Hey peoples! , My boyfriend recently asked me to choke him while I'm giving him pleasure and i've never done it before so how do you do it? x...
A. 14 August 2010: Don't do it. It's dangerous. You could cause permanent damage, or you could go too far and send him to the hospital. Or at worst, kill him. People are built to need to breathe. Just don't do it.... (read in full...)
My kids were rude to my ex. Did I do the right thing?
Q. My girlfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together many times in the last 2 and a half years. When we have broken up sometimes I would vent my frustration to my adult children, not in a vicious way but just trying to get some answers ...
A. 14 August 2010: You did what any sane and normal person would do, and that is to pick your children over everyone else. She has no right to be mad at you for standing by your kids.... (read in full...)
FWB, but tired of putting myself out there and always getting hurt.
Q. I have been talking to this boy for over a year. He has asked me out in the past but now he is with someone else. He says he loves me and cares about me and I love him. I wanna be with him but I dnt think he feels the same. We're friends with ...
A. 14 August 2010: If you're friends with benefits, but he's dating the other girl, that right there is reason enough to stop. One, he's cheating on her with you. What does that say about his character? If he was with you, he'd probably cheat on you too. Two, if he ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a 24 year old to go out with a girl under the age of 18?
Q. On holdays we argued alot. Is it wrong for a 24 year old to go out with a girl under the age of 18. Because at 18 you are classed as an adult. Im just wondering because my cousin is a bit of a perve he hasnt had a girlfriend and i think hes desprate...
A. 14 August 2010: It's not just wrong, it's illegal. And yes, that sounds very creepy.... (read in full...)
Pandora's Box
Q. Im not sure wether this is fair to my loved girlfriend or not; Yet we recently discussed her sexual past for she brought it up. In the process she explained that she has had a number of sexual partners she didn't want to give me the number but she ...
A. 14 August 2010: How many sex partners have you had? Women should be just as free to express their sexuality without judgement as men. Unfortunately that rarely happens. Here is a post on this subject of retrograde jealousy, the poster Yos has some great insight.
h... (read in full...)
How do we find a girl for our threesome?
Q. my bf and i want to have a threesome. but neither one of us has ever done anything like that. so we arent sure where to start. or how to find another girl to do this with us. where would be a good place to find another girl?...
A. 14 August 2010: Oh and one more thing, if you do decide to do this, make sure YOU pick the girl. Not him. You can always put up an ad on Craigslist to find someone.... (read in full...)
How do we find a girl for our threesome?
Q. my bf and i want to have a threesome. but neither one of us has ever done anything like that. so we arent sure where to start. or how to find another girl to do this with us. where would be a good place to find another girl?...
A. 14 August 2010: Is there a particular reason you're doing this? If it's just for him, I definitely wouldn't do it. If he "just wants some excitement" then ask if you can invite in another man instead. It's only fair right? That would probably get that fantasy right ... (read in full...)
If a woman introduces you as her "special friend", what is she saying?
Q. Hi, I have a female friend who always introduces me as her "Special Friend"... what is she saying? Is she interested in a relationship with me.. or is it a subtle way of saying "hands off" to other women? I'm confused as she tends to blow ho...
A. 14 August 2010: It sounds like an old-fashioned subtle way of saying, "hands off, he's mine and we're going to be sleeping together."... (read in full...)
Boyfriend hit me last night!
Q. Last night my boyfriend and I were leaving a friends house and we got into an argument. After I got out of his truck he followed me and wanted to keep talking but I told him I was tired. He grabbed my arm, yanked me towards him and pushed my face to ...
A. 14 August 2010: You should get out now. There were so many red flags for violent abuser in there. He left a bruise, he became physically violent when angry because you wouldn't do what he wanted, he calls you names, he also tried to control you physically. You need ... (read in full...)
He denies that he's cheating. But I have proof!
Q. So, I asked a question yesterday about my LDR relationship. I'm afraid that my LDR boyfriend is cheating, quite openly too! He has tons of friends that are girls, I will admit that I was jealous at first, but I got over it. It never really bothered ...
A. 14 August 2010: Usually you should trust your gut. Friends hacking his account? I don't think so. You know it was him. I know it was him. The internet knows it was him. You should dump him and stay dumped. Even if he didn't cheat with her, it's completely ... (read in full...)
Getting married soon and have proof that he slept with an ex while on business!
Q. Dear friends, I'm getting married in September. My fiance has been on a business trip and i have firm evidence that he slept with his ex girlfriend. I really dont know what to do and how to react. Shall i confront him? Shall i even cancel my f...
A. 14 August 2010: No one can tell you what you should do, but you should probably confront him if you're absolutely sure. What evidence do you have that's so concrete? Someone who sleeps with an ex then lies is probably not the kind of person you want to marry. If he ... (read in full...)
She always wants sex, I don't! Help!!!
Q. My girlfriend constantly wants sex, but i dont, what should i do?...
A. 14 August 2010: Talk to her about it. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to.... (read in full...)
He's too young to have ED!!!
Q. Okay so, I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a couple months. Things started off a little rocky, but we came through it and we're very much in love. We've had fights, but we were able to work through them. The only issue I'm really h...
A. 13 August 2010: Something tells me this is much more deep-rooted and traumatic than he wants to let on. Obviously you can't force him into therapy. But the fact that he says he "barely even remembers it" tells me that a) this is really affecting him and b) it's the ... (read in full...)
He's too young to have ED!!!
Q. Okay so, I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a couple months. Things started off a little rocky, but we came through it and we're very much in love. We've had fights, but we were able to work through them. The only issue I'm really h...
A. 13 August 2010: Yes the sexual assault could very well be to blame as it is incredibly traumatic. Please have him see a counselor about it.... (read in full...)
I fantastize about ugly old dirty fat men! What is wrong with me?
Q. Hello, I feel as if I am abnormal...I am a 23 year old girl and in a good relationship yet the only thing that really turns me on is if i fantasize about much older, ugly, fat dirty men. I dont know why this is and it makes me feel like a freak. I ...
A. 12 August 2010: "Babe. I got so much hair growing out of my ears, I am using it for a comb over."
I just almost peed myself laughing.
OP: So long as it doesn't involve children or animals, I don't think you need to worry. There's that famous internet rul... (read in full...)
What's your opinion on anniversaries in a long distance relationship?
Q. My question is more out of curiosity than anything. I've been with my boyfriend a little over five months, however it's always been long distance so we haven't seen each other much. That said, what's your opinion on anniversaries in a long distance ...
A. 11 August 2010: I have another question for you? What could be the harm in doing something special to celebrate your 6 months? It would just be a nice, fun thing. In a long distance relationship I'm of the opinion finding things like this to look forward to etc... ... (read in full...)
He's too young to have ED!!!
Q. Okay so, I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a couple months. Things started off a little rocky, but we came through it and we're very much in love. We've had fights, but we were able to work through them. The only issue I'm really h...
A. 11 August 2010: The issue doesn't usually have to do with age. A lot of the time it's psychological. Is he under a lot of stress? Are you two having other problems in the relationship? Those are the two most likely things I'd guess. Why not try "taking the ... (read in full...)
Do you believe that there is only one true love in your life?
Q. Do you believe that there is only one true love in your life? ...
A. 11 August 2010: No. It's statistically improbable.... (read in full...)
British women...
Q. Why are britsh women nearly always subtle... not like foreign women who dont beat around the bush (no pun intended) and get straight to the point.... would certainly make life a lot easier!!...
A. 11 August 2010: I'm pretty sure women not getting to the point or being straight forward i.e. being passive agressive is not a British trait. We do it because that's just the way we (well many of us) interact with each other. It's infuriating for sure. I hate it, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend does crack and swears he doesn't cheat on me. Is that even possible?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a boyfriend that is a crack cocaine binger. I am very naive about what goes on when my boyfriend is in this lifestyle. I heard that every time a man smokes this drug that they are promiscuous and can not be alone. My boyfri...
A. 11 August 2010: I don't think it's wise to trust or be with someone who frequently does crack cocaine. I don't think cheating should be the biggest concern. The illegal highly addictive mood altering drugs should probably be your top concern.... (read in full...)
My fetus is at high risk for Down Syndrome and I don't know what to do.
Q. hi im just writing because i need some 1 to talk to im 19 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with my first child yesterday i found out that my baby is at high risk of having down syndrome i dont know what to do .. dont know if i can handle a chil...
A. 11 August 2010: Raising a child with Down Syndrome will require a ton more time, a ton more money, and may never be independent. It's impossible to tell how severe it will be until the baby is born, but in it's most severe cases you may have to devote yourself to ... (read in full...)
Every time he has sex it causes him pain
Q. i have been married for 7 years and i have a big problem,for the past 3 years my husband has erection problems and feel pains in his testicle and we have been trying to get pregnant for 7 years but no luck,is it bcoz he has one testicle?everytime we ...
A. 11 August 2010: Sex shouldn't hurt. Ever. Have him see a doctor.... (read in full...)
How do I return the blow job favor to my girlfriend?
Q. My girlfriend recently decided after 5 months of dating that she wanted to go a step farther and give me a blow job. I tried to lick her and she said it was more of a turn off than feeling good. What can I do to repay her physically? ...
A. 11 August 2010: When you say lick her, do you mean giving her oral? Try gently rubbing her clitoris to warm things up and then kiss around her inner thighs to get her comfortable with you being down there. Make sure you tell her how good it smells (hopefully you ... (read in full...)
Am I having mental orgasms?
Q. [OP original title] I am only 13 and I have never had sex, and dont plan on it until I find someone I am in love with. But of course, being a teenager I think about sex a lot. Whenever I fantasize, it feels like my uterus [or another female body part...
A. 11 August 2010: Doesn't sound like an orgasm at all. It sounds like you're just becoming aroused. Your cervix actually does move and your vagina does elongate when you become aroused. Why on earth are you scared of masturbating??? They're your own body and they're ... (read in full...)
Douching & sponge, what on earth?!
Q. [Moderator's Note: OP's own title] Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles, I am in need of your advice and experience please!! I'm a virgin THINKING** about doing it for the first time with my boyfriend. We are both virgins and are talking about all** aspects ...
A. 10 August 2010: "Exactly how foolish do you think I am being suggesting no condom?"
If you're on the pill, then you're not being foolish (so long as you're sure he's really a virgin/std free). Also so long as you've been on the pill for long enough that it's effe... (read in full...)
How do you know if a condom splits?
Q. I feel a bit embarrassed asking for advice but here goes, I have been seeing this girl for a few months and we both want to sleep together, she has had a lot of boyfriends where I have only slept with a girl once when I was drunk and cant really ...
A. 10 August 2010: Yes, you can DEFINITELY tell. (the following is a little gross, but sex with all those fluids can be pretty nasty. So bare with me). After all's done, run your fingers from the base to the tip pushing the semen. If it doesn't leak out at the tip (or ... (read in full...)
How long does it take the average guy to cum?
Q. So my question is simple I was just wondering how long does it take the average guy to cum ..... like for a guy does it happened quicker during intercourse compared to oral ? ...
A. 9 August 2010: There are lots of things you can do to make him cum faster during oral. Most guys I've talked to say the best thing/their favorite thing is when a girl uses her hands a lot too. As he's getting close gently cupping/massing testicles can send them ... (read in full...)
How long does it take the average guy to cum?
Q. So my question is simple I was just wondering how long does it take the average guy to cum ..... like for a guy does it happened quicker during intercourse compared to oral ? ...
A. 9 August 2010: Depends on the guy and how the girl is at oral/sex. The average during sex is supposedly 2-10 minutes. I think duration also probably increases with age as men get used to holding off and learn techniques for lasting. At your age though since they ... (read in full...)
Circumcision for women... is this all taboo?
Q. Hello, I'm a south african citizen, there are many cultures all over the world and some are considerd taboo.. especially here in the african continent to where im from, i live in johannesburg. most of you who have visited s.a would know it. There ...
A. 9 August 2010: Female circumcision is not the same as male circumcision and is also not about aesthetics. It is usually intended to prevent women from enjoying sex ever as a way to prevent her from cheating, basically a way to keep a woman under male control (like ... (read in full...)
Could I still have a chance of being pregnant?
Q. i had unproteced sex 10 days ago and also 2 days ago. Yes he did ejaculate inside of me. I also understand i could be pregnant, but i started bleeding randomly today but i only came of my period around 18 days ago. Could i still have a chance of ...
A. 9 August 2010: You can still spot if you are pregnant. If it's a full-on period, then probably not. But if it's spotting and in the middle of your cycle it's not a good indicator. If you miss your next period, take a pregnancy test.... (read in full...)
Douching & sponge, what on earth?!
Q. [Moderator's Note: OP's own title] Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles, I am in need of your advice and experience please!! I'm a virgin THINKING** about doing it for the first time with my boyfriend. We are both virgins and are talking about all** aspects ...
A. 9 August 2010: It's good you're being so careful. However, if you're both really virgins, you can't possibly get or have any STDs. So you don't need to worry about getting tested and stuff (though the HPV vaccine is a good one to get unless you are a nun). Many m... (read in full...)
Could I still have a chance of being pregnant?
Q. i had unproteced sex 10 days ago and also 2 days ago. Yes he did ejaculate inside of me. I also understand i could be pregnant, but i started bleeding randomly today but i only came of my period around 18 days ago. Could i still have a chance of ...
A. 9 August 2010: Yes. You could be pregnant. In reality, you're only fertile for about 5 days of your cycle. But you gave it a pretty darn good shot of hitting those 5 days by having unprotected sex twice. Why on earth aren't you using protection? Remember, no glove ... (read in full...)
My cheating boyfriend says he loves me and wont do it ever again, but why is he still talking to the other woman?
Q. This is a real messed up situation. Just found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me. I want to forgive him and want to believe him that he is doing everything in his power to be more committed to me, but the facts are not adding up. What do ...
A. 9 August 2010: I agree that it sounds like he's playing you. It doesn't sound like he feels that bad for cheating, more that he feels bad for being caught. The reason is that he didn't tell you until you forced it out of him. If he had come clean the next day, ... (read in full...)
AIDS from Orla Sex?
Q. can u get aids from blowjob...
A. 9 August 2010: It's unlikely but possible. Chances are upped if you have braces or any other cuts in your mouth. Most other STDs are transferrable through oral sex as well. This is why even during oral sex you need to use condom. Remember that oral is actually ... (read in full...)
I don't want to give him oral sex b/c actual sex happen rarely
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and even at first he didnt want to have sex that much, maybe 1 or 2 times a week. He always asks for blow jobs and I dont really even want to because I know that will make him last even ...
A. 9 August 2010: This sounds like someone who enjoys controlling and toying with people. He's using sex as a power play and furthering it by saying "you have no control, you're weak." Who shames someone else for having a high sex drive? And consistently teasing to ... (read in full...)
I don't like him watching porn alone! Should I just watch it with him?
Q. I don't like my boyfriend watching porn. It makes me feel like I am not good enough for him. Just the thought of him watching other naked girls and doing the nasty with himself makes me sick. Should I just watch it with him? Would he stop watching ...
A. 9 August 2010: No watching it with him won't make him stop watching alone. Have you tried talking to him about how it makes you feel?... (read in full...)
Porn after sex
Q. Hi there, My problem is this: My husband has always been addicted to porn. Ever since we first got married, it's been a constant thorn in my side. I have sex with him so I know that's not the problem. I've told him how it hurts my feelings, but ever...
A. 8 August 2010: Don't let him convince you that you were at fault for invading his privacy. I wouldn't go installing keyloggers on the computer, but checking after finding crusty tissues in the trash after he said he wouldn't do it, yeah I think that's fair game. ... (read in full...)
Porn versus love
Q. Mods note: OP's own title: I have an an age old problem-my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We actually broke up but got back together over it. I have two children and you can tell by my figure that I do. But my bf always tells me I am not fat. He ...
A. 8 August 2010: You say you want sex every day, but he only wants it once or twice a week because of his porn? Sounds addicted if he's giving up real sex in favor of his hand. I think you need to find some way to really deal with this before it escalates. Clearly ... (read in full...)
Uncircumsized, is it really that gross?
Q. Are there any girls out there that prefer an uncircumcised man? I just had a girl in a club push me into a bathroom stall in the mens room. After some kissing she got on her knees, and unzipped my pants. When she saw my stuff, she visibly reco...
A. 7 August 2010: I suspect this is somewhere along the same lines of women who have long labia. Some people simply find it too gross to continue while others couldn't care less. Either way the only way to fix either is to have expensive painful surgery that will ... (read in full...)
Porn after sex
Q. Hi there, My problem is this: My husband has always been addicted to porn. Ever since we first got married, it's been a constant thorn in my side. I have sex with him so I know that's not the problem. I've told him how it hurts my feelings, but ever...
A. 7 August 2010: If he absolutely refuses to talk you may want to think about counseling. That way there's someone there who can prevent/moderate the fight. It's very childish to refuse to talk about it. Rather than him sounding like a grown man trying to be ... (read in full...)
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