| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Excessive masturbation?
Q. [Mod note: OP's title] Hello, I have a problem with masturbation. I do it really often and I get turned on pretty easily. I am not sure of this healthy. Could you please tell me how many times per week is fine, health-wise? Any doctors...
A. 25 June 2010: Some people do it multiple times a day some people never do and there are all people in between. Unless it's interfering with your daily life or relationships, then no it's not too much. Since you asked how often per week rather than how often per ... (read in full...)
Does bottoming out feel good?
Q. I am a guy with an average length willie (about 6"), and I have only bottomed out once in a womans vagina, in a very petite girl. She seemed to really like it, but I have read that it is usually painful or uncomfortable. Maybe it's because I just ...
A. 25 June 2010: A good "full" feeling comes from girth. The bad "full" feeling comes from length. It hurts when it's long because it hits our cervix, which feels a bit like being punched in the stomach, with something stabby. If you're just wide, however, it just ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of my girlfriend getting pregnant?
Q. Okay, so my girlfriend and I were messing around, and I ended up ejaculating. I wiped it off, but about 10 minutes later I stuck it in without a condom. I only stuck it in once the first time and took it out, but after i took it out there was precum ...
A. 25 June 2010: Low chances, but possible. Pre-cum normally doesn't contain any live sperm. If you urinate after ejaculating it clears it all out and kills everything. However, if you ejaculated and then there was pre-cum, it could have sperm in it. It's pretty ... (read in full...)
Should I stop drinking altogether?
Q. so i started drinking when i was about fifteen years old and drink pretty much ever weekend since... lately i has been seeming that i drink until i BLACK OUT and this is scary to me cause i cant remember anything...i can never just have a couple ...
A. 25 June 2010: Yes. It's a slippery slope to alcoholic, and the problem will only get worse, not to mention binge drinking is INCREDIBLY dangerous. People do die from it and you can permanently damage your liver. Not to mention if you do dangerous things while ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me mentally ill because I'm insecure about my body
Q. I hate my body, I don't know why, I just never feel adequate or beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever. I mean, a lot of it has to do with my face and hair, too. The two things that I can really do NOTHING about! But other than that I hate my small br...
A. 25 June 2010: Now hold on a sec, that's not fair to criticize other women who have problems with porn and call them nagging or say they're dragging people down. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions on the matter and a lot of women are really REALLY hurt by ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel the same chemistry with him anymore?
Q. So theres that whole thing about chemestry with someone and how you can feel if its there or not right away on a date or upon meeting soomeone. Can that chemestry that was so great and immensly there just go away all of a sudden? For example me and ...
A. 25 June 2010: Sometimes these things just happen. There will always be a little ebb and flow of passion/chemistry after the initial infatuation goes away. Usually there are weeks of less passion and weeks of more. The best things to do are to make dates to go out ... (read in full...)
Why is she angry that I told her she was easy, when she is?
Q. So my girlfriend and I have a close mutual friend. She says she only fools/sleeps around with men if she potentailly sees them in a relationship. And she's had a few flings. So the other day she was wondering why this guy, whom she was seeing...
A. 25 June 2010: Because being easy in a man is generally considered positive, while being easy as a woman is considered a very bad thing. It's just a society double standard, but being called a slut or easy by a man is like a slap in the face. Sure women call each ... (read in full...)
Do any women have experience using a menstrual cup?
Q. Hi sorry if this is a bit explicit but I have a some questions about menstrual cups? I know that to put them in you have to fold them into the C shape but what confuses is me is how to take them out,on the diva website or lunnete or one of them it ...
A. 25 June 2010: In order to get it out, it requires you to put your fingers around it and reach up almost to the top to squeeze the tops in a bit. You need to squeeze the sides of the cup to break the suction. Then you should turn and wiggle it a bit until it ... (read in full...)
I had a dream my boyfriend cheated and my emotions are driving him away!
Q. I had a serious dream that my boyfriend was cheating on me with some chick. i've been suspisious but now its driving me crazy. what should i do he says i'm too emotional for him...
A. 25 June 2010: You should let it go. It was just a dream. Do you take dreams about other things seriously? Dreams aren't based on anything in reality. No sense driving your boyfriend away over your imagination.... (read in full...)
Any men on DC who don't like porn?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Are there any men on DC who don't watch porn? Or never have? If so, why not? Ii'd like a tally please. I've only ever met one man who doesn't. ...
A. 25 June 2010: Yos, no one would ever shoot you down. :)
That's really strange answering, "If it makes you feel better, I feel bad everytime I do it." Why do it then if it makes BOTH people feel bad? I wonder how many guys feel like that when their girlfriend has ... (read in full...)
Why is he locking himself in the bathroom with his laptop?
Q. This guy and i have been together for over a year now. i thought everything was going fine. now he locks himself in the bathroom with his laptop. is he cheating or am i just paranoid?...
A. 25 June 2010: Especially with his "it's none of your business" response my guess is he's masturbating to porn. That's a little ridiculous to lock himself in the bathroom with a laptop and refuse to talk about it... Don't think he's cheating though.... (read in full...)
He trades pictures with women and masterbates too often to be intimate with me!
Q. my longtime boyfriend masterbates so often now it is getting in the way of our sex life, he is using porn to view other females and i have found pictures of him in the act on his computer, he said he did trade some with some ladies but never met any ...
A. 25 June 2010: This is a pretty classic porn addiction, where the boyfriend would rather masturbate to porn than put in the time and effort of being with a real woman. There are a lot of sites out there for both people who are addicted and people who are in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend called me mentally ill because I'm insecure about my body
Q. I hate my body, I don't know why, I just never feel adequate or beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever. I mean, a lot of it has to do with my face and hair, too. The two things that I can really do NOTHING about! But other than that I hate my small br...
A. 25 June 2010: Jeeeez it sounds like this guy needs to take his anger out on something. He feels bad because you two are broken up, so now he's trying to drag you down with him. I'm sure you're beautiful. Everyone has cellulite! I have a lot of cellulite. Even ... (read in full...)
Anal sex straight into my mouth--will I get sick?
Q. So embarressing but I have to know... My boyfriend and I were drunk and had anal and in the heat of the moment I sucked his dick straight out of my bum. I don't want to get sick. Should I take any medication or precautions? Don't worry, I don't pl...
A. 25 June 2010: There's nothing you can do about it now. Drink lots of water to try to "flush" your system. You're probably fine. You'll know pretty quickly if you got something (you'll vomit and have diarrhea). Don't take anything special, just lots of ... (read in full...)
I'm a private person, and don't like that he's shouting to the world about our move
Q. My boyfriend and I are in the process of moving in together. We have known one another since high school, but have been together for six months. We are both in our early thirties, and he has never lived with a girlfriend before. He is the total pa...
A. 25 June 2010: Yeah he's doing it because he's totally crazy about you! He wants the whole world to know you're HIS girl and you love him enough to move in with him. He thinks you're a catch and he's super excited! It's pretty cute that he's that crazy about you. ... (read in full...)
How to stop the sex?
Q. So, I have been with my boyfriend a year and a few months. We both weren't virgins when we met and we got close fast so we really didn't wait long to have sex. The thing is lately it seems he has been more touchy and all over me then usual and I've ...
A. 25 June 2010: Why do you want a long break from sex? He's definitely going to think something's wrong. It seems like punishment to just one day stop cold turkey. The only thing you CAN do is just say no when he tries. But you should probably try to figure out why ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so obsessed with porn, he ignores my crying!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and i cant seem to get past his porn viewing habit. i didn't know to what extent it was to until i found out he looks at it every single day!! he has lied to me about it several times saying that he ...
A. 25 June 2010: He sounds addicted. He has no problems jerking off to other women but if you comment on a male clothes actor he gets angry? That is a RIDICULOUS double standard. If you crying your eyes out isn't changing him, nothing probably will. Since he has no ... (read in full...)
I'd like to marry my g/f, but it's a package deal
Q. I would like to ask my GF to marry me but she has an older brother that is borderline retarded and is also 90 percent deaf on top of that and he'll have to move in with us if we ever got married. He's on SSI and disability. He can't work, he has ...
A. 25 June 2010: Have you talked to your girlfriend about it, about other options? You can't make her choose between you and him, she'll choose him. But I don't think it's unreasonable to ask that she find him a better situation than moving in with you two.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend prefer masturbating rather than having sex with me?
Q. Please help me understand. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for the last 8 months. We have recently moved in together. Before we moved in we were having sex 4-6times a week. It has now dramatically dropped to about 4-6 times a month. I...
A. 25 June 2010: No there's nothing wrong with you. Some men actually addicted to masturbation. Does he watch porn while he does it? Because porn is very addicting. Have you tried talking to him about this? Do you initiate things? Sometimes guys masturbate just so ... (read in full...)
He lied about where he was
Q. I have know my boyfriend since we were 13 years old. I have had a very close friendship with him on and off. We are now 23 and have been dating for 4 months steady. we had dated for 7 months last year and broke up because we weren't ready to be as ...
A. 25 June 2010: I don't know if anything happened, but if he didn't have anything to hide, he wouldn't have lied. I don't think he did anything necessarily, but he lied meaning there was probably more to this than he says. And what could they have been doing ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm self-conscious of my body!
Q. every time im alone with my boyfriend he tries to take off my clothes, when he does i start to feel selfconscious about my chest and the area between my legs. he has seen my chest before but i cant fight the urge to cover myself. i dont want to be ...
A. 25 June 2010: You just need to believe him, he wouldn't say it if he didn't think so. Let him lavish you wish compliments about your body. Pretend you're confident in yourself and you'll start to believe it. It's like smiling when you're sad. You eventually start ... (read in full...)
He sitll has her number. What does it mean?
Q. what does it mean when your boyfriend of 1year and 4 momths still has his ex girlfriends number in his phoe,but say he dont call them...
A. 25 June 2010: I still have my exes in my phone, means nothing. So long as he's not calling her I wouldn't make an issue of it. If it doesn't seem like there's any strong emotion there towards her (anger too) I wouldn't read into it. I have so many numbers in my ... (read in full...)
I don't get why and when I squirt!
Q. I squirted before during sex but I didn't know I was it just happened but now when I have sex I dont why do you think so? ...
A. 25 June 2010: It's pretty rare and circumstances have to be just right for it to happen. It almost always requires G-spot stimulation. You must have been in a position that hit it.... (read in full...)
We use protection, so is it possible her stresses right now are making her period late?
Q. My girlfriend's period is about 6 days late. could this be due to stress, because she just quit her job because of some drama and she is going to court about a restraining order violation soon as well. plus we used a condom. so what are the c...
A. 24 June 2010: It's probably just stress, that sounds pretty hard on her. If you used a condom, you'd probably know if it leaked. Stress can cause you to entirely skip a period. Why not just take a pregnancy test to put your minds at ease? Sounds like the last ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is never in 'the mood' for sex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't want to have sex with me! When I say sex I mean intercourse and giving me oral. I go down on him regularly and we both enjoy that, but that's where our sex life seems to linger. When I try to initiate sex one...
A. 24 June 2010: Hmmm it sounds like you've tried everything you can. Is he under a lot of stress lately? That's a real libido killer. The only thing you can do is keep trying to talk to him about how it's making you feel to find out the real reason he's not wanting ... (read in full...)
Clear fluid before ejaculation -- is this normal?
Q. Scared Shitless When I am aroused(fondling etc and I have a hard-on) and I/or my partner squeeze my penis(that is before actual intercourse) there is a clear fluid(painless) which comes out. Is this normal? Also, I take forever to come during i...
A. 24 June 2010: The clear fluid is precum, totally normal and natural. Don't worry about it at all. Just means you're excited. As for the being able to orgasm from masturbation and not sex, you should ease up on the masturbation. You've probably habituated yourself ... (read in full...)
My husband isn't circumcized and it really turns me off!
Q. *OP's Original Title* My husband isn't circumcized, and sometimes it turns me off. When I first met him, it wasn't really an issue, because of all the nice things that he used to do for me. But lately we have been trying to get pregnant, and Maki...
A. 24 June 2010: It's really painful for a man to be circumcised later in life, weeks of recovery. Plus, a foreskin is a natural part of his body. If it's a huge issue, you should try asking him nicely to pay a bit more attention to hygiene down there (offer to do ... (read in full...)
Any men on DC who don't like porn?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Are there any men on DC who don't watch porn? Or never have? If so, why not? Ii'd like a tally please. I've only ever met one man who doesn't. ...
A. 24 June 2010: I can't speak from a man's POV, but I know quite a few who either don't like it, are morally opposed to it (as feminists), or like it but wouldn't watch while in a relationship. There are plenty who don't. Around 25-30% don't actually. If your ... (read in full...)
He added the girl he cheated with as a friend
Q. Okay well my bf nd I have been together for 3yrs...Within one of the yrs he cheated on me with this girl from where he lives..But I cheated on him within that time too...Well he had jus added her as a friend on myspace...When I seen it I flip out..I ...
A. 24 June 2010: No I don't think it's totally unreasonable of you to want him to cut off contact with someone he cheated with, for the sake of moving on. That said, you say you cheated too. Have you given up ALL contact with him? If you have, then yes, it's fair to ... (read in full...)
What's the hang-up on swallowing?
Q. It probably has been answered already, but what is the real hang up on women not wanting to swallow a man's ejaculation. Taste? Contents? Etc. Also, if you are going to let them cum in your mouth, what's the difference? Men go down on women and ...
A. 24 June 2010: Miamine, funny you should say that, a lot of it tastes like rotten asparagus! LOL.
And I agree with Sincerely Yours. Tasting a bit from your hand is very different than having it squirted into your mouth.... (read in full...)
Sex cyber girlfriend
Q. Hello i'm just wondering is it wrong to have cyber sex with an older woman while i got a girlfriend. i've been cyber sexting her for a while now i masturbate to her this it feels good but am i doing a bad thing here and should i tell my girlfriend ...
A. 24 June 2010: I'm not sure you should tell her if you're going to stop... I mean honesty is usually the best policy, but just so long as she doesn't ask I'm not sure you should go out of your way to tell her. Ignorance is bliss. I mean don't lie if she asks, ... (read in full...)
Plastic Surgery: are women turning into artificial robots?
Q. Does anyone else think it's terrible that womens plastic surgery is advertised on bus posters, magazines, shop posters... Does anyone else think this is very sad? I was driving home the other day, and I was behind a bus, the poster on it said "when ...
A. 24 June 2010: I agree with you. The number of plastic surgeries in the country is going up DRAMATICALLY, mostly for women. Sorry to the male posters below, but the pressure men are under for appearance is nowhere near what women are under. Plus with a larger ... (read in full...)
What could this mean?
Q. so i finished my period three days ago and now im getting brownish pinkish discharge....what could this be?...
A. 24 June 2010: Probably nothing if it's so close to your period, probably just some residual gunk coming out with your discharge (probably why it's pink). Happens all the time, fairly normal. If it doesn't clear up in a week or two you should go to your doctor.... (read in full...)
We aren't we having sex as often as I'd like?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 16 months and we're both 18, but our sex life is just no more really. we only do it every so often, but i want more. we love eachother so i dont understand why we dont do it any more :( can someone help me please :...
A. 24 June 2010: Why not talk to him about it and tell him you want more? I don't know too many guys, especially at that age, who wouldn't be thrilled to hear their girlfriend wants more sex. Sex generally slows down a little in the relationship as you both get more ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about him watching youtube's big ghetto booty shaking??
Q. Ive been with my bf 10yrs....we were supposed to get married this year. He lives in San Diego. ..they just moved like1 yrs ago. .they bought a business as a family. ...n in Nov I went to India. N during my vacation. ..he was busy taking care of his ...
A. 24 June 2010: Naw, he likes your booty the way it is. Don't worry about it at all. Youtube is harmless anyways. This is one of those cases of if you go looking you'll find SOMETHING you don't want to see, and it's almost always nothing. Don't worry, he loves your ... (read in full...)
I want to have oral sex, she doesn't, what can I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months now. We have a very good sex life and I've always been (and still am) extremely attracted to her. The only problem is, she won't EVER let me go down on her. I have been trying since the day ...
A. 24 June 2010: A lot of women are constantly told through the media that their vaginas are ugly, smelly, and just plain gross and as a result many are EXTREMELY self-conscious about that area. Why don't you tell her (while you guys are fooling around) that you are ... (read in full...)
Chatting with my boyfriend on msn and need some tips!
Q. Okay. So I like to chat with my bf on facebook and stuff. There are times when I just want to talk to him, but I don't know the answers to the following questions. It kinda bugs me, and it hurts to be away from him, so I like to at least talk with ...
A. 24 June 2010: We can't answer this. You need to just ask HIM, not us.... (read in full...)
What's the hang-up on swallowing?
Q. It probably has been answered already, but what is the real hang up on women not wanting to swallow a man's ejaculation. Taste? Contents? Etc. Also, if you are going to let them cum in your mouth, what's the difference? Men go down on women and ...
A. 24 June 2010: Women hardly have the same amount of fluid. Most guys do excuse themselves briefly to wipe off (it's just good manners cause I personally don't want to taste myself). Plus with most guys it tastes REALLY bad. A lot of girls won't let the guy finish ... (read in full...)
Sex cyber girlfriend
Q. Hello i'm just wondering is it wrong to have cyber sex with an older woman while i got a girlfriend. i've been cyber sexting her for a while now i masturbate to her this it feels good but am i doing a bad thing here and should i tell my girlfriend ...
A. 24 June 2010: Unless she knows about it and it's OK then it's most definitely cheating. I think you know that and that's why you're asking. How would you feel if she was doing the same with other guys? It's really not fair to her. You need to stop if you want to ... (read in full...)
My question is how do I tell my dad that I used to do this without him overreacting?
Q. How do i tell my dad that i used to cut myself? Ok i know that its bad and that i shouldnt etc, and i havent for about 4months now. Its been extremely hard as it was at the stage where i was pretty much addicted to cutting myself. I still struggle ...
A. 24 June 2010: I think it's far more important you tell him about the abuse than about the cutting. Especially since the cutting was a result of that. You should definitely find a counselor to talk to about all this.... (read in full...)
Help! Who does my crush like?!? Me or my Bff?!?
Q. I like this guy... And so does my best friend. He gives us mix signals . She came up to him and ask if he could say happy birthday to me. He said that he was just about to do that and after the day he came up to me a said happy birthday. My friend ...
A. 24 June 2010: He said he likes her, and then told you he doesn't like you that way (basically). He likes your friend, sorry. No mixed messages here. He's just being nice to you, especially because you're friends with the girl he likes and he has to be on your ... (read in full...)
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