A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and even at first he didnt want to have sex that much, maybe 1 or 2 times a week. He always asks for blow jobs and I dont really even want to because I know that will make him last even longer without sex! we only do it about once a week..if that.In past relationships I had sex usually at least once a day, I have a high sex drive and he gets mad at me and says "you have no control, your weak". This hurts that he says that to me because I know that I do have control over myself, but I'm just a normal human being with wants and needs, especailly since he always teases me and then doesnt even end up wanting to do it. I don't know what to do...any advise will help! thank you
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blow-job, oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I think what you do is find a new boyfriend and get rid of this one, he's hopeless and a lost cause. He's just not into you, he's ino the sex though and sees you as someone to service him, hence the blow jobs and little sex. He's the controlling one and he is controlling you with his criticisms and withholing sex, via intercourse.
He's a jerk, get rid of him. He doesn't really see this is making love and quite frankly I am not sure that you do either. This is not a love match, stay home with your vibrator...lol.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Why would "having no control" over a healthy sexual desire at your age be a bad thing? In the late teens and 20s, most of us are quite promiscuous and it is normal, or should be, whether in a married or romantic situation (or whatever), as long as such activities are conducted safely. Blow jobs are marvelous, but should be in reasonable trade for him providing your satisfaction as well. Anything less is unfair, but perhaps that is his nature.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 August 2010):
 This sounds like someone who enjoys controlling and toying with people. He's using sex as a power play and furthering it by saying "you have no control, you're weak." Who shames someone else for having a high sex drive? And consistently teasing to get you all hot and bothered? Quite mean. It seems unlikely he has that low of a sex drive at his age unless he's either a) has a health problem b) masturbates a LOT or c) is cheating (I doubt think he is). I'm going with b), that he masturbates a lot and occasionally uses sex with you. I agree with you about not wanting to give oral without getting anything back. You should let him know that unless he wants to give back to you, there will be no more oral. And he can find you back in your room with your vibrator until then.
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