A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this boy for over a year. He has asked me out in the past but now he is with someone else. He says he loves me and cares about me and I love him. I wanna be with him but I dnt think he feels the same. We're friends with benefits now. I'm unsure of wat he wants he gives me mixed signals I'm tired of putting myself out there and getting hurt but I can't stay away from him. School is starting soon and I go to the same school as his ugly girlfriend. I cry just about all the time. How do I get over this kid?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): FWB is almost always just a girl letting an uninterested guy use her for free sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): I'm currently in a very simlar situation to you, it's not fun and really can damage your mental health the longer you carry on. If this sounds harsh i appologise but, he doesn't love you if he did he'd be with you and not his girlfriend. He is using you and you are letting him use you. If you want to carry on being someone's sex toy go ahead but it will only cause you pain, trust me. Guys like him usually have a number of "friends with benefits" so i doubt you're the only girl he's cheating on his girlfriend with. Cut all contact with this loser and get some self-respect.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 August 2010):
 I have to agree with q. The only time I've ever had a successful friends with benefits situation was when I truly 100% had no emotional investment whatsoever. I genuinely felt no different if he slept with someone else (so long as he used a condom). The FWB thing came to a screeching halt when he confessed he'd fallen for me. And that was that. FWB cannot work if you're emotionally invested in a person, and clearly you are. Like someone else said, you're just cheating hoping to turn it into a relationship, and that can only end badly for you.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (14 August 2010):
 friends with benefits: two friends that have a friendship (so they obviously care for each other to some extent) that occasionally have sex.
this is more meaningful than a booty call but its a sure sign that 'he's just not that into you' too. Not enough to be his girlfriend anyway.
what are you getting out of this friendship? Is the sex that good? My philosophy on FWB is that only do it if the sex is EXTREMELY GOOD. Also, be sure to put your emotions aside, and I know that is hard to do, as I've failed at that with FWB myself,but this is how I came to that philosophy.
I was sleeping with my best friend for a while, I had liked him for 6 months prior to when things started with us and guess what...he sucked in bed. But of course, I was there hoping against reality that things would change to a relationship. It barely ever happens that way and all I was doing was getting myself in a position for drama and hurt. It was not worth it.
So if you are going to do FWB make sure you don't want the guy as your boyfriend and that the sex is great. otherwise, what the hell are you gaining from it?
because i can tell you one thing...this guy gets to have sex with two girls and has a relationship with one while he has you on the side. He doesn't sound like a good guy, granted I don't know him but from this situation...not good. You probably most likely deserve better than this!
good luck hun!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): There is no such thing as 'Friends with benefits' when one half is already taken.
Thats cheating, plain and simple. Your opinion of his girlfriend is utterly irrelevant.
I never did like the whole FWB thing. You don't fuck your friends. You turn to them in times of need.
Can you hinestly say he would be there for you when the chips are down and the sex dried up?
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): You are way to young to even be considering a serious relationship...you are still an underage teen. You should be more focused on school and your career. This guy used you for sex...that's it and as hard as that maybe for you to accept, the truth is the truth. I wouldn't be suprised if he did the same thing to this new girl he is dating. Count this as a blessing that you didn't get deeply involved with this guy.....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 August 2010):
If you're friends with benefits, but he's dating the other girl, that right there is reason enough to stop. One, he's cheating on her with you. What does that say about his character? If he was with you, he'd probably cheat on you too. Two, if he really loved you (and not just hooking up with you) he'd be with you. Not her. I'm sorry if it was harsh, but he's just using you for sex. If you do wind up with him, he'll just hurt you more than if you cut contact now. You're still young and you'll find someone who actually appreciates you.
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