| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Why wont he ask me out? I really want him to!
Q. Hey people please someone answer this for me. I really like this guy and all his frends tell me he is constantly talking about me and he really likes me they have been telling me this for about 2 months now, when he's with me I can see the way he ...
A. 18 July 2010: Yay! Congratulations! See how great it is when you take charge?... (read in full...)
I'm not into relationships so broke up with her. Why can't I get over her?
Q. Hi so I recently broke up with this girl who I was seeing for about two months, for several reason, mostly because I'm just not one for relationships. But the thing is, I'm still not over her. She's very shy, but she's also beautiful and smart, and ...
A. 18 July 2010: Shy and outgoing can work great together, she doesn't HAVE to go out every time. These seem like small reasons to dump someone. How do you know someone would get hurt?... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to porn. Wife on the verge of leaving.
Q. My husband and I have only been married a month, but porn has been an issue since the start of our relationship. Every time I leave, after I go to bed, or get in the shower, he immediately jumps on porn sites. It blows my mind. I addressed him about ...
A. 18 July 2010: Just to add to what Miamine has said: It sounds like you guys are off to a good start. Some things to think about, porn is an INCREDIBLY difficult habit to break. Even if he's not what you'd classify as addicted, he's habitual. You should treat this ... (read in full...)
Why wont he ask me out? I really want him to!
Q. Hey people please someone answer this for me. I really like this guy and all his frends tell me he is constantly talking about me and he really likes me they have been telling me this for about 2 months now, when he's with me I can see the way he ...
A. 17 July 2010: This is the 21st century, ask him out yourself! Women are allowed to take charge now.... (read in full...)
A guy who can't stop staring inappropriately at other women
Q. I have a problem. I started dating an amazing woman approximately 5 months ago. I'm very much in love.I'm a 38 yr. old male (divorced 9 months ago) I looked at a couple other posts on this subject, but wanted to provide my story and hopefully get ...
A. 17 July 2010: Like they always say, the first step is admitting you have a problem and you have. So you want to work on it, it's great that you know it hurts her and you want to stop. It's very nice. Many men seem to think it's their inalienable right to start at ... (read in full...)
I think my husband might be gay?
Q. Is my man gay? When I asked him on a scale of 1 to a 10 how good looking is you male friend, his answer was a 20!!! Is my husband gay?...
A. 17 July 2010: Based on that??? I don't think so. I talk about other women being totally hot or attractive or gorgeous, but I'm not gay. My friend's boyfriend gushes about Johnny Depp, he's not gay. Sexuality is way more plastic than people think it is. Also you ... (read in full...)
I'm not into relationships so broke up with her. Why can't I get over her?
Q. Hi so I recently broke up with this girl who I was seeing for about two months, for several reason, mostly because I'm just not one for relationships. But the thing is, I'm still not over her. She's very shy, but she's also beautiful and smart, and ...
A. 17 July 2010: You can't get over her because you really cared about her, but it sounds like you have convinced yourself you're not into relationships and couldn't let it go. I'm not understanding why you broke up with her? Sure lots of people get hurt dating in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend masturbates next to me in bed and wakes me up, and gets defensive when I ask him to stop...
Q. I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over one year. We are very much in love, and have a great sex life, but once in a while have a good argument about eachother's peeves. One that I am CONSTANTLY arguing with him about is the fact ...
A. 17 July 2010: This is incredibly inconsiderate and selfish. You should stand your ground on this. If a guy did that to me and gave those excuses his butt would be out the door so fast he couldn't even put his pants on. And those "excuses" are just that. Chigirl ... (read in full...)
Are second pregnancies different if the first?
Q. I hear that second pregnancies are different such as..... 1. You feel your baby move sooner 2. You tend to show about a month sooner, and 3. You carry your baby lower I know this is true if you go through with the whole pregnancy, but wh...
A. 17 July 2010: Odds:
Planned Parenthood is right actually. Unless you have serious complications an abortion will not affect anything. Abortions nowadays are very non-invasive, done with a drug that induces a miscarriage. You don't even go in for a procedure, you ... (read in full...)
She's lost a lot of weight. What can I do to help her?
Q. hello, i'm 15 and so is she, recently her dad left and she's been having a lot family trouble. But the last few months she has lost a massive amount of weight, people at school have been saying stuff. She constantly gets stared at and all our ...
A. 17 July 2010: I think there's no way to talk to her about this without being awkward. You need to just take her aside and say, "You know I care a LOT about you. I know you've been having some family trouble, and I've noticed you've lost a lot of weight. I really ... (read in full...)
Since my boyfriend's family know of my genital herpes, I'm not allowed at their house, what can I do?
Q. So, I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes. I told my boyfriend this when we first started dating (5 mo. ago) and that I don't get breakouts often (2x in 6 years). He was okay with it, but told his brother (without me knowing) because I guess he ...
A. 17 July 2010: Have you thought about sending them a reputable fact sheet about herpes? Like about how it's really only contagious when you have an outbreak, how you really can't catch herpes from a toilet seat, etc? Like this one:
h... (read in full...)
My husband told me he's been bored with me sexually since the first year of our marriage!
Q. My husband told me the day I got out of the hospital after 14 years of Marriage that our during our whole marriage he has been addicted to looking at women on the internet, clothed or naked. He had been doing this in a cubicial (beating off) at ...
A. 17 July 2010: I agree about encouraging the communication. However, you're right about the problem being that he does this at work and how he phrased this to you. He says he's bored? Yes I know it stings, but think of this as a starting point for sexual ... (read in full...)
How can I gain more freedom with my controlling boyfriend without breaking up?
Q. hi, im 16 years old and i am in a very confusing and hard situation. iv been in a relationship with a boy for around nine months now. we have done everything together and i mean everything. i love him, he makes me laugh and i love the way he makes...
A. 17 July 2010: I think if he has that tight a grip on you and you really don't want to break up, you absolutely need to lay down the law for him. He has no right at all to not let you see your friends or control your life. You go out with friends. If he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to porn. Wife on the verge of leaving.
Q. My husband and I have only been married a month, but porn has been an issue since the start of our relationship. Every time I leave, after I go to bed, or get in the shower, he immediately jumps on porn sites. It blows my mind. I addressed him about ...
A. 17 July 2010: Guys, she hasn't said anything about the masturbation, only the porn. Goodness, no need to get so riled up because people have different opinions on what's OK in a relationship. Some people don't want their partner masturbating at all, to porn or ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex again, it's been so long. What should I do?
Q. Well i haven't had sex but once and that was when i lost my virginity...it wasn't what i expected so that's why i refrained from having sex for a year but now im in a relationship with a guy who i truly love and i really would like to get intimate ...
A. 17 July 2010: Don't worry about the length of time in between. I was the same way, then someone special came along who I had sexual chemistry with and it was like there was never a gap. Just make sure you're super turned on and you won't feel a single bad thing. ... (read in full...)
How effective are sex toys for girls?
Q. Sex toys for girls are fairly expensive. To what extent are they just a novelty soon to be discarded as boring?...
A. 17 July 2010: SUPER EFFECTIVE! Gave me my first orgasm when I wasn't able to have one alone. It also gets me there with my partner when something just isn't quite getting me over the edge. My sex life wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling without. The reward? I want ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for teenagers to lose erections so easily?
Q. I am seventeen years old and I recently got into my first serious relationship. My girlfriend recently decided to give me a handjob. It felt great and I really enjoyed it but I was constantly losing my erection and I had to stimulate myself to get ...
A. 16 July 2010: Oh that little? No, that's definitely not it. Maybe you should talk to a doctor? Have you considered that you might not be attracted to what you think you're attracted to?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for teenagers to lose erections so easily?
Q. I am seventeen years old and I recently got into my first serious relationship. My girlfriend recently decided to give me a handjob. It felt great and I really enjoyed it but I was constantly losing my erection and I had to stimulate myself to get ...
A. 16 July 2010: Try masturbating less. How often do you masturbate?... (read in full...)
Should I be worried, or is it just curiosity?
Q. my eleven year old daughter was looking up quite a bit of pornography and lesbian porn on my laptop. should i be worried or is it just curiosity at eleven? when i was eleven... i was far from thinking about that. kids mature too fast. How shoul...
A. 15 July 2010: I think you should talk to her about it. Keeping it taboo will make it worse. 11 is young, yes, but at the same time what's done is done. Now she's going to have a lot of questions and if you don't answer them, porn will. Badly. I can't really tell ... (read in full...)
Tormented by girlfriend's sexual past
Q. hi guys. i know this has been throughly discussed here before.. i already researched about it and read almost all of the responses to the queries. and honestly it helped a lot. i have a girlfriend now who i love very much. i really adore her and ...
A. 15 July 2010: I know it's hard to move on from, but you've had sexual encounters before her, more, and you're upset because losing her virginity meant something to her. Did yours mean something to you? This is a fairly sexist issue. Seeing as you've had MORE ... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to porn. Wife on the verge of leaving.
Q. My husband and I have only been married a month, but porn has been an issue since the start of our relationship. Every time I leave, after I go to bed, or get in the shower, he immediately jumps on porn sites. It blows my mind. I addressed him about ...
A. 15 July 2010: Just to add, if he agrees to stop for real he should have no problem with an anti-porn lock on the computer to make you feel better. If he just says he'll stop and refuses though, you know he's probably just planning to hide his tracks. Plus the ... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to porn. Wife on the verge of leaving.
Q. My husband and I have only been married a month, but porn has been an issue since the start of our relationship. Every time I leave, after I go to bed, or get in the shower, he immediately jumps on porn sites. It blows my mind. I addressed him about ...
A. 15 July 2010: Have you tried confronting him about it or tried making him go to counseling? He doesn't sound addicted necessarily, just someone who doesn't want to give up on porn. The lying though, that's pretty awful. I think your choices are, try to work on it ... (read in full...)
I like him but I think he smokes pot
Q. I really like this guy but I think he smokes pot and what if I go back out with him and kiss him some day what should I do?...
A. 15 July 2010: Most people smoke pot at some point. It's harmless so long as he's not a total stoner. What do mean, if you kiss him? You have to smoke pot to get high. You can't absorb it or through your lips or something. If you like him, go for it. If you can't ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and pregnant from a 19 year old. Can he be arrested?
Q. I am 16 and possibly pregnant, my boyfriend is 19 can he get arrested for having sex with me? We live in new york state and he has a previous record....
A. 15 July 2010: No. He can't. The age of consent is 17, but since he's less than 4 years older than you, he's OK. Also, someone has to press charges for him to be in trouble.
http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/New-York-Age-Consent... (read in full...)
Why does he take a long time to reply to my emails?
Q. I was dating a guy 8 years ago.One day a common friend told me that he graduated from graduate school.So, I wrote him an email to his job account saying congratulations for your graduation, what do you plan to do now. It took him a week to reply and ...
A. 15 July 2010: You should just ask him if he's seeing anyone. Or be like, so does your girlfriend like blah blah? He could just be one of those people who doesn't check their email often. If he was really not interested he'd probably just not respond at all. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant again. Can't tell my mom, what do I do?
Q. Ok so about 5 months ago i thought i was pregnant (im 15) and i told my mum and she had a massive fight with me. she was so ashamed of me (she told me) and i felt like shit for so long. I promised her i wouldnt have sex till i was old enough and i ...
A. 15 July 2010: Here's what you do. You use birth control. You need to be on the pill, with an IUD or using condoms. Otherwise you shouldn't be having sex. Period. Why aren't you using condoms? You could also catch something. Like AIDS.
Now onto whether or not y... (read in full...)
Is she interested in me in spite of the peeing??
Q. So I recently went to a small party with some friends and met a girl that I liked. As the party died down and everyone went to bed I found myself in the same bed as this girl, not a big deal because nothing was happening and we just went to sleep. A ...
A. 15 July 2010: Impossible to say. She was probably grossed out by the pee... But if she was really drunk too she might not think much of it. We can't know as we are not her.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me to come out with him on his work nights out, is it normal for couples to go out drinking without each other?
Q. This is going to be long, sorry :X My boyfriend and I have been dating since our high school days (started when we were 17, now we are 23/24). We've been living together for 2 years now and are both in university. However, lately we've bee...
A. 14 July 2010: Why not get some of your own friends to go out drinking with? Yes, this is normal. He wants to bond with his coworkers. I mean if he did this a lot and never invited you, that would be one thing. But if he's just going this once, then he's probably ... (read in full...)
Do girlfriends discuss their lovers in detail?
Q. Another post had me wondering... when you girls talk about your BF's to fairly close or very close friends, what is the limit on discussion? Do you just say things like "he's great in bed" "he's very tender", or do most women go into more detail ...
A. 14 July 2010: Yeah, many of us do. I can't speak for all women. But most of my friends and I talk about it a lot. Mostly I get into "competitions" with other women about who's boyfriend is better in bed and just better in general. I always win. However, he knows ... (read in full...)
I think my sister saw me!
Q. Hey, well here's the deal. When I was in my room with the door closed, I was watching some porn.. with my penis showing and in erection. I wasn't masturbating but my sis pushed the door, she didn't look directly and walked off. I'm traumatized that ...
A. 14 July 2010: She's 22. She knows what teen boys do, she probably left and started giggling, most women would. If you really want to stop watching porn, just stop. If it's actually difficult to stop watching porn (as opposed to masturbating without porn) then you ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend or potential, lucrative job?
Q. I love my girlfriend of 1-1/2 years to death (though we've known each other for 11 years), and can't wait to propose to her someday. My girlfriend is extremely attached to me, and whenever I have been away for a few weeks, she gets upset. I...
A. 14 July 2010: She sounds like she's being a little clingy. Yes, you're breaking your promise, but it's not THAT long of a time until she graduates. There's no reason you two can't stay together and just do the long distance thing. It's hard, but it's very doable ... (read in full...)
Taking the pill while pregnant?
Q. if i'm pregnant, and i dont know, and i keeep taking my birth control regularly, when it comes time for my period, will i get it? or spot? or not bleeed at all? please help mee....
A. 14 July 2010: You aren't pregnant if you're on the pill. You shouldn't continue taking the pill though if pregnant. But you're probably not pregnant if you've been taking the pill.... (read in full...)
Exhausted at being Mrs. Transportation
Q. my boyfriend lost his vehicle over 8 months ago so ive been taking him back and forth to work when he is schedule he works 10 minutes away from where we live and writes his own schedule for work when i have to be at work at 10am and my job is near ...
A. 14 July 2010: Just stop. Tell him you're not a taxi. He can take a bus. He can ride a bike. He can make his schedule to match yours a bit better. He could do SO many things that don't involve being a bum. Stand up for yourself, don't let him walk all over you. ... (read in full...)
When can a girl squirt?
Q. Can a girl only squirt when she is having an orgasm? My bf fingered me the other day and I squirted for the first time but I didn't have an orgasm and I'm 100% sure that it wasn't pee?...
A. 14 July 2010: Squirting actually isn't connected to orgasm. I mean it kind of is, but you can squirt without orgasm and you can orgasm without squirting. Even men can actually ejaculate without orgasm. It wasn't pee, don't worry. The real trick is being able to ... (read in full...)
She's been married three times but says she has never seen precum before...?
Q. My girl has been married three times and has had several other men ask her to get married and dated multiple others. She is a good looker. I don't care about her history. I love her. The point I should make before my question is that she really ...
A. 14 July 2010: Nah it's not abnormal. But lots of men produce so little it's almost unnoticeable. It sounds like you produce more than usual, so maybe she'd just never noticed a small amount before. I don't think she's lying. What would be her motivation?... (read in full...)
How can I be free of these desires?
Q. Hi everyone, I am a virgin with a fairly normal sex drive, except for a bunch of paraphilias, most of which don't bother me. But there are 2 of them which are bizarre and disturbing and I've had all my life, and I'm disgusted and ashamed of them and...
A. 14 July 2010: Haha thanks for clarifying. I didn't think it was. I just don't want to be, sued or something. So, you know, enjoy your weird fantasies just like everyone else. We all have them...... (read in full...)
Should I get back with him because every aspect of our relationship is great? Should I learn to cope with his enjoyment of porn?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. When we got together I knew he watched porn, I didn't mind at first until I realised how much he did it. I asked him to stop and he agreed, I then found out 6 months later he was still doing it (yes, by ...
A. 14 July 2010: You don't have to tolerate porn or lying. It sounds like the lying is the worst part, and he's done it repeatedly. You'd be perfectly within your right to not get back together with him over it, since porn is an issue for you and he lied about it ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to watch porn every night?
Q. I have trouble looking at porn every night when I am supossed to be in bed sleeping. Is this wrong. I dream of sex like 12 times every night....
A. 14 July 2010: No it's not "wrong." Porn isn't wrong, masturbation is wrong. However, this seems like it's going down a bad path. Every night is excessive. The way you say it, you talk about it like it's interfering with sleep, which is a good start on an ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him? I feel like he's going nowhere fast.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, he is 30 and still lives at home with his mum he doesn't pay rent, clean up after himself and to be quite honest I'm sick and tired of it. I love him, but I feel like love is not enough anymore. All my ...
A. 13 July 2010: You're not being unreasonable. This guy sounds like a bum. If he was having a rough time of it and had to move home for a few months at 30, OK. If he's still living there as you say, not OK. He has no job, lives with his parents, doesn't want to go ... (read in full...)
Porn is ruining my relationship and feelings!
Q. Hi there, I am having a little bit of trouble. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and we live together. He had lied to me in the beginning about his sex, and how he used to be married. He is 10 years older than I am which doesnt bother me ...
A. 13 July 2010: This does not sound like a healthy or happy loving relationship. He has lied to you on MANY occasions about a variety of subjects, including ones that are very important things to be truthful about. I don't think he will ever be truthful about his ... (read in full...)
How can I be free of these desires?
Q. Hi everyone, I am a virgin with a fairly normal sex drive, except for a bunch of paraphilias, most of which don't bother me. But there are 2 of them which are bizarre and disturbing and I've had all my life, and I'm disgusted and ashamed of them and...
A. 12 July 2010: Don't worry about it, everyone has their own fetishes. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, masturbate and fantasize away! Everyone has SOMETHING weird that turns them on, we just don't talk about it. That's why we worry it's weird. I promise it's ... (read in full...)
No memory of being naked in bed with my ex after the party!
Q. Last night I went to a party that my ex was at and got so badly drunk that i remember very little of what happened. This morning my friend was helping me fill in some of the gaps, and she said that she came into a bedroom to find me naked in bed ...
A. 12 July 2010: That fits the legal definition of rape you know. Taking advantage of a person while they are intoxicated falls well into the rape category. It's not so much that it was stupid, he's in the wrong here. I'm sure there's someplace you could get ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
