A
female
age
36-40,
*ennyBuckwell
writes:Hello, I feel as if I am abnormal...I am a 23 year old girl and in a good relationship yet the only thing that really turns me on is if i fantasize about much older, ugly, fat dirty men. I dont know why this is and it makes me feel like a freak. I would never be attracted to this type of man in real life yet I find something about being with someone disgusting a turn on. Sometimes i even fantasize about being with this sort of man when im intimate with my boyfriend and i also enjoy watching porn where much older men are with younger girls. Could anyone possibly offer an explanation for this? I have thought in the past it must be down to my lack of confidence and that being with such a gross man means i would have no issues with confidence and that it what is the turn on yet i am completely confidant around my boyfriend so im not so sure it could be that... Please help
View related questions:
confidence, older men, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): I had this also...had it really bad and for years and years, (btw only 23 now). Was obsessed with porn with a really hairy really old guy and young female - as said before probably because you get to be the power-holding princess, feeling more beautiful and needed than otherwise. This phase is passing though.
A
female
reader, AprilHeirwynd +, writes (16 August 2010):
 Maybe it's less to do with the fat,old,men and more to do with you? Maybe the fantasy is all about you wanting to be the most,sexy, desirable person in the world-if you were with an old,fat guy they would think you were an amazing, sexy goddess!
The only advice I can give is that everyone is sexy in their own way. And don't forget-your boyfriend finds you very sexy too :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): ...guess your boyfriend doesn't have to worry about aging so much now. Perhaps it is the greater appreciation or gratitude that would come from such a person that you would like? I don't think it's anything to worry about. (and you probably just gave a bunch of old fat guys some hope.)
...............................
A
female
reader, JennyBuckwell +, writes (12 August 2010):
JennyBuckwell is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for answering and not being very judgmental as have to admit its a little embarassing admitting to a fantasy which you know is a little strange...Alot of what you said has been helpful and has given me a little bit of insight so thank you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Okay, so in fantasies and dreams often other people represent parts of you that you fail to acknowledge. So maybe you want to just let your self go?!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I have a bit of a 'make his dreams come true' thing in some of my fantasies. I don't know if this is the case for you, but maybe an ugly old fat man having a lot of appreciation and excitement over a young attractive woman is what's doing it for you? And if not, I still don't think it's anything to be concerned about!
...............................
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Maybe because it puts you in control? and they make you feel more attractive! because they are ugly and fat in your mind! and you feel like the princess! and it can't be taken away from you and i like i said you can turn them totally on and be in control.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lifesgood4 +, writes (12 August 2010):
There is nothing wrong with you. Most people have their own veiws on people and it doesn't matter about looks it matters about what's on the inside. If people would just go for looks a lot of people who be alone. Although it's not their fault on how they look. No one should change their thoughts or looks because of other people. Many people just have their own choice in people. If you had to choose people that others liked then their is no point in looking for your own soul mate. Good luck in with what you choose.
...............................
A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (12 August 2010):
Fantasies are just fantasies, they're usually very strange and don't make much sense! Don't worry about it, I fantasize about a lot of weird f'd up s***** and I'm your age....Theres really no explanation to it, the dirtier adn weirder the BETTER
Your fantasy is funny though haha! its all good.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 August 2010):
 "Babe. I got so much hair growing out of my ears, I am using it for a comb over."
I just almost peed myself laughing.
OP: So long as it doesn't involve children or animals, I don't think you need to worry. There's that famous internet rule that if it exists, there's a fetish for it. And lucky for you, a lot of porn features fat old balding men! Lucky you!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): maybe wen you were young an older man gave u extra attention which made u feel special.. thats why u think that ways.. wen i was 13 a 28/ 29 i guess guy used to be extra nice to me so that made me like older men.. i used to fantasize about older guys of the same age a lot.. a lil later i used to fantasize about even older guys.. and then i felt weird.. it started turning me off.. and now i dont look at a guy's age.. i look at his character.. and preferably of the same age.. haha
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): You can probably take it for granted that at least 200% of the ugly old dirty fat men would be delighted to reciprocate your interest, if you decide it's a runner in real life. The deeper issues to which you allude vis-a-vis your lack of confidence, self-esteem etc may require deeper investigation.
But as Moo says, don't stress too much about it. Perhaps your personal notions of beauty are completely inverse to what most 23-year-old girls find sexy. Perhaps your ideal of male beauty is a haggety old 82-year-old geezer on his 8th pint well before sunset, with a colossal beer belly and a few teeth left, but you're captivated by the glint in his eye and the beauty of his conversation. Who's to say that's wrong?
Well, maybe your boyfriend might have a fair bit to say if he knew about it. Totally OK if you were single, a shade disappointing if you're not. Bit of a shame that you feel you 'need' the stimulus of...well, a slightly strange idea...while you're with an amazing man. No cause for huge distress. But if you love the guy you're with now, surely there's years and years for you to enjoy him in his youth and continue enjoying him when he's become an ugly old dirty fat man?
...............................
A
female
reader, SimpleOne +, writes (12 August 2010):
Nothing! Be careful though that you don't start playing this fantasy too often. Your mind is a wonderful thing and you can always change aspects of the fantasy. Rewind it like a movie and edit etc. Gradually do this till your fantasy man is different/more comfortable an image. Have you tried getting your boyfriend to talk to you whilst intimate? Or have you tried sharing/creating fantasies whilst not intimate?
I hope this helps. Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Fantasies are often weird and that is why they are fantasies. You are not weird you are just turned on by something different. Relax as long as it stays a fantasy it's all cool.
...............................
|
