A
female
age
30-35,
*iwl_4ever
writes:So I dated this guy and we broke up on our month Anniversary and a month later we began to have sex.About every month we meet up once or twice to have sex. Most likely he is just using me because I am an easy target for him. He knows he's my first and that I have only been with him and some other guy (which I lied bc I wanted to show I moved on like he did, which I haven't). Then, I found out he has a gf but he still comes to me. When I couldn't go on anymore bc I kept hurting I cut him off for three months. But in the end I went back to him. We have fun when we are together and If i ask he tells me the truth (or so i believe). He is still with his gf and now I'm trying to cut him off again bc he told me last time that he and his gf have done it. I cried a lot and It's been two months since the last time and we recently talked and he wants to do it. He says he only did it with his gf twice a real long time ago. So I guess he wants to get some from me since he's not getting from her. The thing is I want to so bad but I want him completely not just sex. Do you think we can be together again and not just as sex buddies. What do I do with the other chick? I feel bad already but most of the time I'm like ha! he's cheating on you! I don't know I really like him but I can't see myself letting go. I don't know how.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): I was in the same position before and no you can't be in a relationship with him. He is only using you. I ended up in a relationship with the guy I was with and he cheated and it didn't last. He was a waste of time and now years later I feel very bad for his ex GF even tho her and I never got along way before he cheated on her with me. I still feel bad. Cut him off
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 July 2011):
 It's clear that this guy isn't going to leave his gf for you and that even if he did, he would just cheat on you with someone else. The fact that he meets up with you a couple times a month and only talks about sex then gets defensive when you point that out is not the sign of someone looking for love. He may be a fun guy, but this guy does not sound like the kind of person you'd want to be with even if he didn't have a girlfriend. Hard as it is, you know what you have to do if you want to get out of this situation.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (8 July 2011):
Baby, you know what to do, dont pretend as if you dont know. This thing you have going on is totally useless. Why is it that he cant leave his girlfriend for you? Its because he takes her seriously and hopes he has a future with her, while you are just there to satisfy his sexual desires, nothing else. You have to face it:you're the spare wheel!You have to end this before it turns you into a total wreck. How do you feel when he comes running to you just for sex and then goes back to his girlfriend?Please, im begging you to let go. This man might wake up one day and tell you whatever thing you're having is over. One thing's for sure:he wouldn't leave his girlfriend for you because he's comfortable with the way things are. You need to get out of this abusive relationship (you are abusing yourself). You deserve to have a man of your own who will love you, respect you and on top of that, give you good sex.
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A
female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 Hahaha!!! Great comment there.....I think you have to make a decision w/c ever ways you will still lose it...Your relationship with him is in the wrong side so don't expect it will end at the right one...If you want him to respect you cut it off and start respecting yourself and he will soon realize your worth after all.It won't be easy at the start but surely I will be good in the end.Doing the right thing is the hardest but believe all will be easy once you start doing it right.Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): Wow, you must really like him. I almost don't believe it. No girl in the world has ever wanted or liked me that much! Not even my own wife!!
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A
female
reader, eiwl_4ever +, writes (8 July 2011):
eiwl_4ever is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know what it is about him I really like. When we hang out we have fun. It's nice but he always ends up talking about sex. I've even told him once What do you want? Because you don't just text me just to talk. He got mad and acted the victim. I don't know. and the thing is the sex isn't even great x[... I just like pleasing him i guess... And I know I should leave him alone but i don't know how. I end up going back to him later on and I don't know how to stop myself. Like right now thats all I think about. Giving it one more go but half of me is screaming no! Don't do it bc you will cry again. Another thing is I want him to respect me, I want him to know I don't want to be used and i want him to know how i feel but i dont think i can tell him or should. About his gf. I have thought of that. I want to tell her badly about him but I can't do it bc he will know it was me and he will hate me and I don't want him to. Plus my friends said I shouldnt but I dont know. I really want to so she would leave him but what if she doesn't? I've been like this for a year and I don't want to be dragged into a second one. Well, more like following.
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (8 July 2011):
 "Do you think we can be together again and not just as sex buddies."No. He's using you, because he knows you can. You really need to move on, otherwise all of your future relationships will be unhealthy and suffer.Also, no, because he's cheating on her with you because he wants MORE sex, not because she's not putting out. She's putting out just fine and the moment you even *think* youre together again he will be off and cheating on you, using you for sex, while he tells his new girl on the side that he's with you but you're just a pretty face that wont put out.There should be no 'ha, im cheating on you' because he's already ruined you, let him ruin this new girl on his own. Don't be a part of it.You can not trust him plain and simple. Cut it off permanantly, block his number, whatever it takes.You can let go, you just have to open your eyes and see that he's never going to be dedicated to you.Infact i think i had a recent girlfriend going through that problem, not the sex part, but the part where she had feelings for this guy even though she didnt want to, just because he was manipulative and told her what she wanted to hear. I told her do whatever you want. If you'd rather have some asshole than me, be my guest. but dont come crying back to me later.Well, if you want to go back to this asshole that has no respect for you, be my guest. But i really do think you should atleast have some respect for yourself and see that you are worth so much more than him.nick.
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