A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess when it comes down to money people think differently. Personally, the paying for sex is not the issue.. it still comes down to a woman who has had many penises in her vagina, whether or not she gets paid for it. There are prostitutes here who are not your typical ones. They don't come from low income backgrounds. They are college girls who want some pocket money to buy fancy gadgets. Oh and also to have some fun. They are really overpriced. The upside is that they are mostly clean and they are really hot! I saw some news report about such girls on tv and they spoke as if they were really having fun.They are NOT drug addicts btw. So in this circumstance, is that less wrong? I mean, nobody is getting hurt. It is just a business transaction in this case. No large scale trafficking and stuff like that.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 July 2011):
 "Miltiary combat & other dangerous careers are filled by lots of people, disproportionately men, who have the least options too. These careers frequently get them blown to pieces or maimed or mentally scarred for life. So let's not talk about how women are uniquely victimized by society."
Women ARE victimized in prostitution. How does the fact that men are also victimized in the military make prostitution less horrible? Just because war is horrible doesn't mean that nothing else in the world can be awful. Also let's look at some basic statistics shall we?
Prostituted women are murdered at a rate of 2 in 1,000.
The approximate death rate in the military for the past 8 years is 1.6 in 1,000 (less than prostitution).
Around 68% of prostituted women suffer from PTSD.
Around 48% of men in combat suffer from PTSD (a LOT fewer than prostituted women).
So to say that prostitution isn't bad because men have crappy options too is absolutely ridiculous especially when prostitution causes more fatalities and more trauma. Also it's worth pointing out that these women wouldn't have been victimized if there wasn't a supply of men to rape and murder them out of pure hatred for women in general.
As well the claim that prostitution is just like other jobs because other people don't like their jobs is absolutely absurd. Other jobs, regardless of how crappy they are, aren't even close to level of danger, don't cause severe mental trauma in 68% of people and don't require daily exposure to dangerous bodily fluids.
Just because prostituted women aren't necessarily forced into it (the number is enormous in many countries, less in the US) doesn't mean they are in it entirely out of "free will." The majority of prostituted women begin in their early teens and between 70-90% have suffered sexual trauma. A group of sexually traumatized VERY young women are not going to be in a good place to be making that kind of decision. If prostitution is just like any other job, why is rape pretty much a prerequisite and why do most of them leave it more severely traumatized than war veterans?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): I had sex with a prostitute a couple of months ago while visiting a strip club overseas - she invited me for a 'private dance' and once I was in there immediately went though her price list, and it wasnt cheap. Nevertheless I was extremely tempted and went ahead and went for the works (so to speak). The appeal to me was the fact that she was friendly and came from the same country as I, and was extremely attractive (ie exactly 'my type'). I know you cant always believe everything you hear but she was very convincing in her showing her enjoyment and she even said at one point how much she enjoyed her job. Not for one second did i feel that she was forced into doing what she was doing- i did get the impression she was enjoying the money, but she seemed intelligent enough to know that she will make a lot more money this way than working in a so called 'real' job. The statement that it is not expensive to have sex with a 'regular girl' so to speak is simply incorrect and everyone knows it- the wait and the dinners, the flowers, etc etc add up, whereas if you are happy to pay for the service without all the time wasting and 'strings' that inadveredly come with having sex with a woman .. people should do the math.Another thing- everyone assumes that one can just go out and get themselves a girlfriend, that is a incorrect assumption, even for someone with a reasonable degree of attractiveness (eg that i believe I have). I know that if I wanted to I could, but this is not the case for everyone. It is much easier for a woman if they at least put some effort into their appearance (but that's another issue)- sorry have deviated from the question quite a bit- what was it again ;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): Well I was sad to read that 'us women' providing sexual services, are sad - and to be pitied.
Let me share - I'm probably one of the happiest women in the world!
I get paid to be admired, I gain far more respect from men in my working career than what most people get in the workplace or in day-to-day life.
I work WHENEVER I feel like it.
I am honoured. (Does our society know how to honour other humans? Afraid not).
I work in absolute peaceful and serene conditions.
My work only involves 'free will choice'. Nothing is done against my will - whatsoever. All men who see me have the utmost respect for me. They arn't heartless creatures, nor are they rude (well the ones who I allow in anyway). In fact they are lovely!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): You ask "If prostitution is such a great option, then why is it always the women with the least options choosing it?". The majority of prostitutes are not trafficked, not violently forced into prostitution. They don't like the job? Most of us don't like our jobs. But, like them, we do it willingly and for the money. And we don't blame our customers for that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): Person12345 said,
"If prostitution is such a great option, then why is it always the women with the least options choosing it?"
Miltiary combat & other dangerous careers are filled by lots of people, disproportionately men, who have the least options too. These careers frequently get them blown to pieces or maimed or mentally scarred for life. So let's not talk about how women are uniquely victimized by society.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 July 2011):
It's interesting how everyone I meet has a friend of a friend or a friend of a sibling, always someone at least twice removed who LOVES what they do. Still the person talking about this friend of a friend has never met the women, only hears through at least two other people that this woman loves what she does. In this case, hearing that the women love what they do through someone who is, in essence, a pimp. Do you think the women are going to tell their "boss" if they don't like what they do? Sorry but anyone who listens to someone hearing from a pimp that prostituted women love what they do has their head in the clouds. Would you listen to the CEO of Walmart when he says all his employees are happy?I also find it strange that you throw in "little risk." I don't think there are any other jobs in the world that ask people to use the insides of their bodies at work. Prostitutes are murdered at a rate of around 1 in 500. Does that sound low risk to you? This number doesn't decrease when women are escorts because in those cases the women are often in more private and secluded places than other prostitutes. Like I said the "best" places have to remove things like sheets and pillowcases so johns can't strangle the women. In order to do this job women have to come into frequent contact with dangerous bodily fluids. I don't think a daily risk of HIV or any other STD is "little risk" even leaving out the extreme rates of violence against prostitutes.I've met many prostituted women, I work with many of them, and every single one of them said they had to pretend to love it to make money and would defend their "choice" tooth and nail because it was too devastating to face the reality of the situation. But they all felt horrifically sad and suffered severe trauma as a result of their "job." None of them were "forced" into it either. They all "chose" to do it. If prostitution is such a great option, then why is it always the women with the least options choosing it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): My sister started an escort agency a few years ago as a sideline to her main job, until it's now become her main job. Almost all of her girls are students, looking earn a bit of extra cash. She's friends with all of them, to the extent she goes on holiday with some of them. No one is exploiting them - they choose this as a way of making great money without too much risk. She's never came in contact with organised crime, trafficked girls or anything other than the occasional 'weirdo' who her local police liaison officer is more than happy to hear about.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 July 2011):
It doesn't matter how much fun she seems to be having on TV, being a prostitute is at best a job (not a party) and at worst being raped repeatedly. Rates of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are at 65% for prostituted women, which is higher than people who've been in combat (45%). Basically being a prostitute is about the same amount traumatic as being physically tortured. Many prostituted women have to use anesthetic on their genitals to numb the pain and there are warnings around some brothels for the women not to use too much or it could mask serious injuries.
Being a prostitute is extremely dangerous. In the US approximately 2 out of 1,000 prostitutes is murdered. That's around twice the death rate of the most dangerous jobs. The "safe" brothels have to remove things like sheets and pillowcases from the rooms as they could be used as a weapon and things like lamps and moveable furniture are fixed to the floor so they can't be used to hurt her. There are multiple "panic buttons" in many of the rooms for prostitutes so they can call for help when they are attacked. Did I mention these are the "high class" establishments? The ones that wind up on TV?
Do you really think a woman who needs money to get through college is going to go on TV and talk about how badly she needs the money or do you think smiling and acting like it's a giant party is going to get you more clients? There is a small percentage of prostitutes who enjoy their job. The vast majority would get out if they could and it's going to be near impossible to tell who's there for "fun" and who's there out of desperation. Do you really want to take the chance that you are in essence raping someone (having sex with someone who doesn't want to, but has to for money) on the off chance that she's in the less than 5% who don't mind their job? Sure going to an escort gives a better chance that she's at the very least not trafficked and may not dislike what she does but chances are she's there out of desperation.
In case you needed more discouragement from supporting this industry that is so incredibly horrible for women in general, most prostitutes and strippers spend their time talking about how much they hate the men who buy them.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 In my personal opinion high class is a lot better. Low class street walkers are usually forced into it, they have no other choice, which kind of ruins the act when you think about it.
A high class girl like you are saying, who actually WANTS TO DO IT, that's different. That's fine. If you want to, go ahead.
If you're going to do it, then do it with the women who CHOOSE TO DO IT. Not the ones who are forced into it.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (6 July 2011):
In my view, a prostitute is a prostitute. It doesn't matter if she's working a corner in the ghetto, or if she's a high dollar escort that works in penthouses and on yachts... the bottom line is she's selling her body for money. End of story. It's "the oldest profession".The only difference is in the quality of the prostitute. A Yugo and a Cadillac are both cars, and both can get you from point A to point B... one just costs a whole lot more and gives a much more enjoyable ride.I, personally, cannot bring myself to pay for sex. It isn't because the practice is illegal in much of the U.S. (I live close enough to Canada to go there if I so choose) and I don't judge guys who do partake, it just isn't for me. Casual sex with a stranger, dating to get sex, even FWB situations are all fine with me as there is no explicit "money for sex" agreement. Outright paying to get my rocks off... that's not going to happen.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 A hooker is a hooker dude.
The only person you have to justify this to is yourself, but if you're gonna be one of "those guys" who brags about getting with hookers then don't expect any slack from people, expensive or not. How does that one liner go..? Bragging about getting with a hooker is like bragging that you just bought a packet of crisps from a vending machine...
Oh, and FYI, its their job to convince you that they're enjoying themselves so I'd hardly trust what they have to say in a documentary... and I especially wouldn't trust that they're "cleaner" or that they aren't supporting a drug habit. That's just naive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): I agree with all of the above a high class whore or a 5 dollar whore is still a whore and if you have to pay for it then maybe you should ask yourself why?
I mean, everyone is entitled to do whatever they want but engaging in paid sexual activity just shows a huge amount of disrespect to women and if you ever get into a serious relationship with a woman and you are totally honest with her im fairly sure that 90% of women will not agree to prostitution and wouldn't want to be with a man who has that in his past.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I think anyone paying for sex is sad whether they pay a cheap call girl or a high class one... it just makes me sad to think that folks have to pay for someone to pretend to love them.
in addition except for Nevada, prostitution expensive or not is illegal.... but hooking up with a stranger is not...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011):
The girl is the same, but it makes some johns feel better if the girl charges more money because she is "selective" about the men she will see. They feel she is not just giving it away to anyone. After all, only certain men can pay $1000 for a night. The reality is that she is charging more because she can. Usually, she is more attractive and better educated than a girl who charges less. That is just supply and demand, not really her being more discriminating.
As for whether other girls who give it away for free are any better or worse... well, not in some respects. However, even a girl that gives it away for free has the ability to choose the men she is willing to see. She does it for fun and to make herself feel good. Making it a business transaction (even somewhere it is legal like in Amsterdam) means she often has to see men she would rather not.
In the end, you decide which one is worse to you. Personally, I don't like sluts - paid or not.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 July 2011):
 Red,
I see a few direct questions in there.
"is that less reprehensible?"
"is that less wrong?"
So what are we comparing it to. Compared to average prostitutes. Or compared to people who casually (without emotional attachment)have sex with multiple partners.
And less reprehensible to whom? So city in general, The customer/user, or a future partner?
I'll take a stab at answering anyway. Let me rephrase the question. Is a person who willingly sells sexual favors less wrong or reprehensible than a person who out of desperation or force sells the same or a person who freely shares the same favors for mutual pleasure? Personally I find the willing seller more reprehensible. Reducing an important building block of relationships to quick profits seems worse to me than doing the same out of need, or for fun. But it is still a question of the least of three evils.
Ideally sex should be shared between adults in committed long term relationships.
There is much more to be said,
FA
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I suggest you speak with your local district attorney, he may have some information that could clear up this matter for you.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 July 2011):
 So, are you asking if it is ok to hire a prostitute for your sexual needs?
Can you pull the real question out?
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