A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just split up with my boyfriend of two years, and I'm excited to get into the world of promiscuous sex. (That sounds terrible, but I never really experienced that world, I just jumped straight into a serious relationship.) But, I've only ever had sex with my ex-boyfriend and I was very close to him, so I didn't feel awkward telling him that I'd never had an orgasm, and I never felt obligated to fake one. But now I'm afraid I don't know what to do if I ever find myself in a situation where I'm having sex with someone I'm not as close with. How does one even fake an orgasm? Will a guy be completely disappointed if I just don't climax?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): Don't fake it.
That said, it will affect most men. It means a lot to most men that the woman they are with orgasms.
An easy way you to deal with it is to say before you start "I almost never orgasm. Never have. But I really do enjoy myself." and then proceed to do just that. As long as you show him you're having a good time, that will be fine.
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Don't fake orgasms. It's meaningless. If the guy can't please you, then he just can't please you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2011):
 don't fake it.
why would someone your not in a relationship even care if yo cum or not anyway?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Don't fake it. That just feeds men with false ideas of how to please a woman. It's true, telling a guy you havn't been able to orgasm through sex with them CAN dent their ego and cause problems. But it is their problem. If a guy is level headed and genuinly cares about you and your happiness, more than his own pride and ego, he will work with you and help you find out what works to get you off in bed. Do not feel you have to fake it to please a man. Sex should be about your pleasure as well, and if a guy thinks he just has to touch you for you to orgasm, hes going to have false expectations the next time, and the next time. This will mean you and future women who sleep with him, are going to be left unsatisfied until he figures out he was mislead.
I've been with a guy who found it hard to accept when I was honest with him about the fact I have never had an orgasm from penetration. He said he's found it easier when hes been with women who orgasm easily. Now I'm not saying these women don't exist, lucky cows, but it is possible 1 or 2 of those girls were faking? If so, now the guy has an unrealistic view of how to please a woman in bed, and this did affect our sex life. It's quite interesting that really. The butterfly effect. How one little lie can affect someone else in a much bigger way down the line. I am however, merely speculating.
But yeah, honesty is the best policy. Or you'll make the guy lazy.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Don't fake it. One it's a HUGE lie and would be devastating to him to find out. Two, if you start out faking it, you're going to have to keep faking it and you will never be able to properly orgasm with your guy. Don't fake it. If it's difficult to orgasm for you even during oral sex or with fingers, buy yourself a small vibrator and have your guy use it on you (after you use it on yourself a few times to figure out how you want it to feel). Seriously though, don't fake it. It will ruin your chances at a fulfilling sex life.
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