A
female
age
30-35,
*oloved89
writes:Dear Cupid,How am i supposed to feel when my fiance agrees with his cousin's/friend's opinion of other females, when I'm around? It makes me mad for a cousin or friend of his to come around him, when im with him, to tell him something about another female i.e. what she was wearing at a party, how she was dancing,etc. If he really cares about me, he wouldn't agree with any of his friends about another girl would he? He always told me that he really loves me. He only agrees with his friends in these ways because he's a dude, and thats just what dudes do. But its not respectful, though, is it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 July 2011):
 I know it's hard to accept that your partner will occasionally find other people attractive, but it's just the reality. It doesn't mean he finds them more attractive than you, but people notice other people. It's really tough to deal with the pangs of jealousy in the beginning, but it does get easier once you start realizing you notice other people too and it doesn't mean anything about your relationship.
I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to ask him nicely (don't go too overboard or start a fight) to not do that in front of you.
A
female
reader, soloved89 +, writes (7 July 2011):
soloved89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo. its not so much about really what he says.... it's that and the way he says stuff.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 July 2011):
I guess it depends on what he's saying. Just agreeing that someone is attractive isn't really disrespectful. His friends are the ones being disrespectful to your relationship by telling him all about it more than your boyfriend is by agreeing with them.
That said, going on about it longer than a "yes" or something equivalent is disrespectful. He can find other people attractive, but raving about it is just plain disrespectful.
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