A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend said to me while drunk tonight "you cant even have children what good are you??" Now I am in tears, it hurt me so bad. I feel like giving up now. He made me feel more worthless then I already do
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 your boyfriend is an arse. you heard the phrase 'alcohol loosens the tongue'? his drunken comment is probably what he feels all the time but when sober he can keep a lid on it.
bottom line - a big problem is if he wants kids and you cannot have them (have you actually been tested though??)
he sounds a nasty piece of work anyway to be honest. i mean, to say THAT to you really kicks where it hurts doesn't it? are you sure you would want to have a family with him? if he can be drunk-nasty like that to you (someone he loves?) then he can be drunk-nasty like that to children
x
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 what a cruel thing to say... interestingly enough it could be his fault you have not conceived... I would love the Karma in that...
BTW having babies is NOT what makes you worthwhile...
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (7 July 2011):
Wake up, he is not a nice guy, if when he gets drunk, he becomes abusive. Your boyfriends behaviour is showing signs of how he actually really is and it can only get worse if you've already fallen in to the pattern when you have accepted it.Do you think women, who end up in violent and abusive relationships see that that guy was going to abuse them at the beginning? They were as naive as you are being right now. You put abusive behaviour down to alcohol, or stress, or some other lame excuse. The bottom line is, someone who has respect for you, would not intentionally ever hurt you. No exceptions.Anyway, how do you both know it is you that can't get pregnant? How do you know that it isn't him? Did you know that drinking alcohol lowers your fertility rate? Maybe he is the problem.I am picking up some seriously bad signs from you about this relationship and where you're at right now. Are you religious? Maybe this is a sign that you should not be getting pregnant with this guy. Are you really a teen? When I was a teen I was enjoying myself, and having fun, with no commitments. Great times. So what are you going to do about getting out of this horrible situation that you've found yourself in?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 July 2011):
 What a "worthless" boyfriend! Why would you stay with someone who makes you feel like crap? This guy is as you said, worthless. He is not worth your time and he is not worth tears. That is an incredibly cruel thing to say to someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): we have been trying for a child for awhile now, he drinks fairly often and says nasty things occasionally that he doesn't remember saying later on.He is normally a real nice guy but its times where he is completely drunk he says stuff like this.I dont know what to think but even I doubt I can have kids and there has been times I have gone to the bathroom, realised I had got my period and just cried, cried so much because I want it to happen and its not. Ive said to myself Im pointless for not being able to have kids but last thing I needed was for someone I love so much to say this :(He is great with kids and a great partner in all. Im not making excuses for him, Im still really hurt over this. What can I do to find out why Its not happening ?? And what would be the right way to confront him about what he said when he is sober ??
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (7 July 2011):
That's a pretty harsh comment to say to someone. Does he usually say cruel and hurtful things to you?I know sometimes people can lose their temper and say something in the moment which they later regret, but in your case I get the feeling that there is more to it and that there is other stuff going wrong in your relationship.If your boyfriend puts you down, and makes you feel bad then you really need to look at where your future is heading. I don't know if there is some medical reason you can't have a baby, but either way - do you want your baby to have a father that can say something so hurtful to you? It doesn't seem like he would make a very good role model to me.Everyone can make a mistake and say something they regret, so I hope your boyfriend has done everything he can to make it up to you and promised never to be so cruel to you again. Make sure you know the difference between a one-off mistake, and someone who is being emotionally abusive towards you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 July 2011):
Why are you still with him? It seems like he's done this sort of thing before? And even if he didn't, what he said was pretty cruel. I think we need to know more before we can really advise you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): I am really sorry to hear what he has said to you. But normally when some one is drunk they speak the truth and how they feel. Get rid of this guy, and find some one that respects you and cares for you. What he said is out of order and insensitive.You deserve some one way better. At least you knwo now what he thinks rather than later. x
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