| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Being told you shouldn't be angry...does that work for ANYONE?
Q. i feel like everytime i have a disagreement with my boyfriend we don't so much try to work through a disagreement as much as he tries to explain it away . He says his side of whatevers going on, and basically concludes that therefore, I shouldn't be ...
A. 16 December 2011: Reverse sexism (that by calling out sexism, it's actually worse than what's being called out) is not a real thing. It's just a way to ensure no sexism actually gets called out, ensure women who call it out feel embarrassed for not having prevented ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend gets upset that I can't orgasm each time we have sex!
Q. Hi there, I'm 19 and have been sexually active since I was 15.... I've been with 3 guys and all of those I've been in long term relationships with. I enjoy sex but it doesn't make me orgasm and my clit is normally to sensitive when I'm having sex so ...
A. 15 December 2011: Yes you are normal., your boyfriend just has ridiculous expectations. It shows a real lack of understanding for female anatomy and sexuality for him to get upset when you don't orgasm from intercourse. Only 25% of women ever have an orgasm from ... (read in full...)
Being told you shouldn't be angry...does that work for ANYONE?
Q. i feel like everytime i have a disagreement with my boyfriend we don't so much try to work through a disagreement as much as he tries to explain it away . He says his side of whatevers going on, and basically concludes that therefore, I shouldn't be ...
A. 15 December 2011: http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-“crazy”/
Try reading through this.... (read in full...)
Fingering hurts!
Q. So, my boyfriend has been fingering me and when he puts his finger up my vag, it feels like so much pressure but it's kind of uncomfortable. Idk if this is because its new..but ahhhh! What should I do!? ...
A. 15 December 2011: It's because fingering isn't just pushing his fingers up your vagina, fingering should start/be with clitoris stimulation. Women don't orgasm solely from penetration, we orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Even when women are able to orgasm from ... (read in full...)
Just for a night I want to feel like a priority, not an obligation
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year and recently I've been contemplating cheating. I knew with distance I wouldn't be the main focus for my boyfriend but I never expected that I'd feel like some days he'd be talking to me out ...
A. 15 December 2011: It's a tough situation since nothing big has happened to make the decision cut and dry. It sounds like you two are just growing apart. I will say though that the fact he won't be public about you as his girlfriend is a HUGE red flag and shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Vaginal discharge is making me extremely uncomfortable
Q. WOMEN ONLY PLEASE!! I'm 16 and I discharge a lot. I also sweat around that area quite a bit and it's uncomfortable. I hate sitting on the plastic base chairs at college because it often leaves a sweat mark and I get incredibly anxious and ...
A. 14 December 2011: Nothing sounds abnormal. I leave sweat marks on plastic chairs too and while it's embarrassing, I don't think there's much you can do about it other than wear thicker pants. As long as there's no weird smells, the discharge isn't cottage cheesy, an ... (read in full...)
Why has he changed again? His excuse is he's afraid of me getting pregnant but I'm not so sure....
Q. Why has he changed again? I dated this guy 2 years ago now for a year, it eventually ended because i wanted more and told him i loved him and he stated he was 'fond' of me! I missed him terribly and we eventually got back together 5 months ago after ...
A. 14 December 2011: What's your gut feeling on this, does he truly have a phobia/aversion or does he seem emotionally distant in other ways?... (read in full...)
Do women want powerful, wealthy men more than considerate, nice guys?
Q. I know nobody wants a wimp. But do all women prefer the self-absorbed jerk with power over the nice, middle class guy who is considerate of a woman's feelings? Is the law of the jungle and the law of human love really the same?...
A. 13 December 2011: All men want vapid bimbos with big breasts who don't talk or think. That's what it sounds like when you say women want powerful rich self-absorbed men.... (read in full...)
Why has he changed again? His excuse is he's afraid of me getting pregnant but I'm not so sure....
Q. Why has he changed again? I dated this guy 2 years ago now for a year, it eventually ended because i wanted more and told him i loved him and he stated he was 'fond' of me! I missed him terribly and we eventually got back together 5 months ago after ...
A. 13 December 2011: If he is THAT paranoid about it he should get a vasectomy, problem solved.
If he think he might want to have kids again someday, the pill plus a condom bring the chances down to a VERY small possibility. Would you be willing to get an abortion... (read in full...)
Link between the amout of sex and his porn use?
Q. my boyfriend watches porn without me should i be worried? We went fom having sex 2 or 3 times a day to once a week if i am lucky....
A. 12 December 2011: Sounds like it. Have you tried talking to him about it in a non-confrontational way?... (read in full...)
Is going to a strip club like cheating? Is it worth losing someone you love to go?
Q. My friends and I were having this debate over the fact my girl and I agreed with each other that neither one of us would be okay if the other went to strip clubs. They happen to believe I am submissive to my gf, when in fact it was a MUTUAL dec...
A. 12 December 2011: They say it's harmless because they want an excuse to cheat. A stripper is a woman, another human being. The only way someone can think a stripper giving a lapdance/handjob/blowjob isn't cheating is if they think strippers aren't actually human. ... (read in full...)
My ex dumped me because of my body hair and now I am so insecure over this!
Q. so I have a bit of an insecurity and a recent boyfriend who dumped me over it has made me feel so much worse about it. I am asian and I do have some excess body hair. my back and stomach are quite hairy. I pretty much have some hair all over my...
A. 12 December 2011: And how much hair did HE have? Was he running out to have it all ripped out? What a jerk. This whole idea that women are supposed to be hairless while men get to be hairy is sexist and oppressive. We all have hair, don't let some misogynist tell you ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity and could I be pregnant?
Q. Hi...I'm a 21year old and I'm still a virgin so I'm really clueless about sex. My boyfriend and I were making out so things got heated, we both ended with just our underwear on. I don't know if this is regarded dry sex or not but I was laying flat ...
A. 12 December 2011: First off there was no sperm present. Second there were four layers of clothing, which prevent sperm from moving (sperm cannot move when they are not in the correct fluids). Third you were starting your period that day, which means it's highly ... (read in full...)
Once or twice a month I have a stronger scent that usual. Is this normal?
Q. Maybe once or twice a month I will have a stronger "scent" than usual. It's not like a sickening smell and it's not a bad odor..My boyfriend says it's just stronger than it usually is. All other days it's a very mild scent. Is this normal?? I wash ...
A. 11 December 2011: Just your hormones. Happens to everyone, has nothing to do with hygiene.... (read in full...)
When you are supporting your adult child, how much is too much?
Q. When does a parent stop supporting their grown children? I asked a question earlier and was surprised by one of responses. Is it ok to support a grown child in her twenties, let her live with you whenever she feels like it, take up the only oth...
A. 11 December 2011: It really depends on the situation. If a kid is in the kind of situation where they were fired, just out of college, had to leave their job for whatever reason, then I think it's ok for maybe a year tops while they get back on their feet. Same with ... (read in full...)
Is penetration deeper with woman on top or man on top?
Q. Does a guy go in deeper on top or on the bottom?...
A. 11 December 2011: Woman on top. It's gravity and angles. Though I believe doggie is deeper than either.... (read in full...)
I went through my boyfriend's phone and I regret it!
Q. Dear Cupid, I did something very bad.. I went through my boyfriend's phone. Texts, photos, and everything.. Well, that was a big mistake. He talks to other girls... And It bothers me... I have a lot of insecurity problems and I hate mysel...
A. 10 December 2011: I agree with the other posters. If he once betrayed your trust and is continuing to be suspicious, I don't see how you can ever trust him again.... (read in full...)
Late period (and very important date very soon)! Any ways to bring it on?
Q. I've always had really regular periods, and if they haven't come exactly on time, they've been a day or two early. Never late though. And yet, this month it's taking a while to arrive - I'm about three days past my expected date. I wouldn't worry ...
A. 9 December 2011: You can't induce a period. But there are ways to not have this wreck your vacation. Have you ever heard of disposable menstrual cups? You can wear them during sex if he's squeamish about blood. Also is there any chance you're pregnant? Have you ... (read in full...)
How do I get the confidence to be on top during sex?
Q. I hope my question goes up I really need help on this one. My boyfriend and I have started having sex and he is my FIRST! He's had a lot more experience and he's very pateint. The thing is I,m afraid to be on top because of my weight and also ...
A. 9 December 2011: Well for starters, you don't want to launch into that upright sitting position they show in movies. That is tiring, difficult, and IMO doesn't feel that great. I know it's not as sexy looking but I think the best way to start is doing a position ... (read in full...)
What is more appropriate/acceptable? Spending holidays with your family or your significant other?
Q. I would love some inputs! What is more appropriate/acceptable, spending the holidays (Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year) with your significant other or your family?? I'm a little torn. I want to spend this time of the year with my family but ALSO with my ...
A. 9 December 2011: Generally couples alternate years with each family. You both go to one family one year and both to the other the next.... (read in full...)
Do girls think about their ex's penis
Q. I was wondering if girls think about the size of their ex's penis. My girlfriend made it a point to tell me the sizes of her ex and it hurt my self esteem because i'm just average. And she sounded like she was gloating for them. For me and guys I ...
A. 8 December 2011: First off, most women do not care about penis size. The vast majority of women (around 75%) never have an orgasm from intercourse. This does not have to do with penis size, but rather that we have very few nerve endings in our vaginas. When we can ... (read in full...)
Raging hormones are making me want to have sex just to relieve the feelings
Q. Hi everyone. Well this is something I dont really have anyone to talk to about, normally id speak to my mum but she isnt very open to sex talks, and makes it very uncomfortable. Well Im almost 21 and Im still a virgin not because Im religious ...
A. 8 December 2011: It's normal to go through phases of this, masturbation is your friend here. You don't want to lose your virginity just in the hopes of finding satisfaction, especially when I've never heard of a woman having an orgasm her first or even second time.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's and my plans for life do not mesh!
Q. All right, here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over three years. And good god we love each other like nothing else. We just moved in together and, minor issues aside and one or two larger ones that we have talked about ...
A. 7 December 2011: I agree with Chigirl. You want the exact same things, just with an offset of about 5 years. If you dump her over this, I guarantee you will not be married within your timeframe. So your options are, wait 5 or so extra years and be with the woman you ... (read in full...)
How much do you mind a partner's human side (bodily functions?)
Q. This might sound like a ridiculous question, but in all seriousness, when you're with a new boyfriend/girlfriend (one you've been with for some time but have never lived with, that is), how much do you mind being aware of their... umm... more human ...
A. 7 December 2011: Once you're living together he's going to have to learn to be comfortable with it. But at the beginning, best to keep a little mystery. The first time I went on vacation with my current boyfriend, I went down to the lobby to poop and had him turn on ... (read in full...)
I'm on depo, should I be getting a period?
Q. So, i have a weird problem... I'm on the depo needle (ment to stop you getting pregnant) I got it last october 19th, its ment to last 3months, but the other day i got a period sort of thing, and as far as i know you shouldnt get it on the n...
A. 7 December 2011: It's normal to occasionally have some bleeding/spotting even if you don't have it every month. Whenever a woman is on a hormonal form of birth control she completely and entirely stops getting a "period" and only experiences spotting/breakthrough ... (read in full...)
He called it "SPAM" I think he is cheating. Should I leave him?
Q. I need some help big time with my relationship! My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years!! Recently I have suspected him of cheating on me and its driving me insane! A few months ago I noticed that he wouldn't let his phone out of his s...
A. 6 December 2011: You need to end things with this guy if you ever want to be in a monogamous relationship. He will never stop. You've caught him completely red-handed (it's about as close as you can get to actually walking in on him with someone else) and he ... (read in full...)
I don't have much experience but I think I get more turned on by affection and romance. Should I tell my Bf how I feel?
Q. I'm with my first boyfriend and not very experienced. To me his penis looks really small when he is lying down and not erect, but his erection is a good size. He thinks me looking at him naked (without erection) should turn me on but I just find ...
A. 6 December 2011: I don't know any women who are turned on by a flaccid penis. Many women are very visual, but simply aren't turned on by the identical things men are turned on by (obviously). You shouldn't lie to him about this, if he believes just waggling his ... (read in full...)
Why do we want people who hurt us back in our lives?
Q. Here's something Ive always wondered, when we love somebody, and let's say they take off with someone else, cheat, etc. outside of feeling the anger, how come so many people are inclined to take the person back so quickly? and overlook the fact that ...
A. 5 December 2011: Because they are in denial that it happened, because they don't want to be alone, because they have Stockholm syndrome, because one bad event doesn't magically erase that they were in love just the day before. There are many reasons.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex post a photo of his ex from 2 years ago on facebook?
Q. I split up with my LDR boyfriend because he wouldn't commit to me and he was messing me around. I told him he had to let me move on if he wasnt prepared to commit, but we could remain friends. He was horrible back to me so I deleted his number and ...
A. 4 December 2011: Because he's trying to hurt you. Don't give him the satisfaction of a response. If it makes you feel better, write out a long angry letter, give it a good read-through and press delete. He's not trying to do anything with her, he's trying to be a ... (read in full...)
Do you know anyone who has many college degrees, but is working in a job far below his potential???
Q. Hello all, This is a question on career options. I know...I know...this site is mainly dedicated to relationships/love/sex questions. But I am posting a career question here as my experience with this site has been good so far and I get the most s...
A. 4 December 2011: This is what's called underemployment and is unfortunately common in this kind of economy. It's not about starting at your dream job, very few people do that. It's all about getting your foot in the door and getting experience. As long as your job ... (read in full...)
What do you think about when you're masturbating and/or having sex?
Q. i have a question for guys and gals. me and my boyfriend got into a conversation about sex and masturbation. he told me that when he masturbates he fantasizes about things, and when we have sex and i close my eyes, he thinks that im fantasiz...
A. 4 December 2011: Some people just never fantasize during masturbation, and are genuinely confused about why people think masturbation has anything to do with sex. But most people do fantasize during masturbation.
I fantasize about things I've seen in real life whe... (read in full...)
My period was missed, should I worry?
Q. This question may well sound abit dumb, but i am young and have no idea about female anatomany, not to mention i worry far to much so if you could tell me if this is normal or not it would be great. I have bas...
A. 4 December 2011: Stress and dieting will definitely throw things out of whack, even for older women who are more regular.... (read in full...)
Father with two kids and a persistent housewife
Q. We have a married couple with 2 kids where the husband wishes to divorce his wife but she wants to continue with the marriage. Here are some questions I'd like to get your answers to : 1)How can a single father protect himself and the kids when he...
A. 4 December 2011: Just because labor is unpaid doesn't make it any less "labor." Childcare, housecleaning, cooking, running errands, all WORK. Just because a housewife doesn't get paid to do her work doesn't make it any less important/valuable. Doesn't make her a ... (read in full...)
My period was missed, should I worry?
Q. This question may well sound abit dumb, but i am young and have no idea about female anatomany, not to mention i worry far to much so if you could tell me if this is normal or not it would be great. I have bas...
A. 3 December 2011: At your age it's very normal to skip periods or have late periods. Don't stress. However, if you miss the next one, you should go talk to a doctor.... (read in full...)
2 hours going at it and still no magical finish
Q. hey guys. im 16 and so yesterday i was with this girl, weve known each other for a while know, and its not the first time weve gotten sexual... so anyway she invited me over to her house since her parents were out and we could do it again, btw she ...
A. 3 December 2011: My guess is you've "overstimulated" yourself masturbating. A vagina or mouth is very soft compared to a hand. Try taking a break from masturbating for a bit and see if it comes back.... (read in full...)
What are views on large labia minora?
Q. Im 16 and I know I have big, above average, labia minora. I know there are operations like labiaplasty, but I don't find item uncomfortable. It's a major body image issue for me. I just want to know, what are men/women opinions on large labia? ...
A. 3 December 2011: If they aren't big enough to cause severe discomfort then they aren't out of the range of normal. Where would you even get an idea on what "normal" labia are? If it's porn, that's not what normal is.
Labiaplasty is a terrible idea for cosmetic... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's love for anal sex is ruining our relationship
Q. My man loves Anal sex, but I couldn't be more turned off by it. We are engaged to be married, and have been dating for three years. We have amazing sex, on the daily, but when it comes to anal, I'm just not in to it. This is creating some problems ...
A. 3 December 2011: "I'm sure I'm not the only woman out there who hates anal" to the contrary, there are very few women who will even tolerate it. Your boyfriend is being a selfish, entitled, jerk. He doesn't care about your sexual wellbeing at all. He thinks it's ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my sister, who's a ballerina and has serious body image issues? Is she seeking constant affirmation that she's thin? Is she seeking attention?
Q. My sister has serious body image issues. Let me explain : She's a ballerina and , at 14 years old, in the pre-professional division. She's a very brilliant dancer with a beautiful physique. But her instructor constantly calls her "heavy" or tells...
A. 3 December 2011: She clearly has an eating disorder. This is unfortunately common for ballerinas (one ballerina with the Kirov ballet was fired because she weighed 114 lbs at 5'6"). The pressure on ballet dancers is immense (I should know I used to be in a pretty ... (read in full...)
How can I confront my boyfriend of lying about porn?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a great relationship for the past 2 years and haven't had any big fights... except about one topic: porn. I absolutely hate it. I see it as a form of cheating. He knows I would never allow him to look another ...
A. 3 December 2011: Porn can be addicting and really warp a person's sense of what they are entitled to (i.e. that they are entitled to lie and hide and hurt their partner knowingly). The very fact that there are people here saying you're wrong just for being hurt and ... (read in full...)
We're both virgins, should I expect him to be somewhat skilled?
Q. Okay, this might be a little odd and maybe shallow, but I was wondering: guys, how were you the first time you had sex? And girls, were you pleasantly surprised or not? I ask because my boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time and...
A. 3 December 2011: How could he be experienced/skilled if he's never done it before? Even people with talent at piano have to start with scales if you know what I mean.
You should just count on this being a little awkward. Say it's a freebie and it doesn't count ti... (read in full...)
Father with two kids and a persistent housewife
Q. We have a married couple with 2 kids where the husband wishes to divorce his wife but she wants to continue with the marriage. Here are some questions I'd like to get your answers to : 1)How can a single father protect himself and the kids when he...
A. 2 December 2011: First off, why is it your business what their finances are during their divorce? Why do you think she's going to blackmail him?
Second off, if she's a housewife and he's the one wanting the divorce, you think it's fair for him to keep every ce... (read in full...)
Unhygienic session of anal sex.. Will I get sick?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and finally had anal sex. I've had anal sex before but they've always taken place in the shower (with my ex of five years) so it had always been clean and super enjoyable. Well, it kind of ...
A. 2 December 2011: It's unlikely you would get sick, but unfortunately it is possible. Ingesting human fecal matter can cause e.coli infections. BUT it's really, really unlikely. There's fecal matter and e.coli all over the place and we eat small amounts of it all the ... (read in full...)
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