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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I would love some inputs! What is more appropriate/acceptable, spending the holidays (Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year) with your significant other or your family?? I'm a little torn. I want to spend this time of the year with my family but ALSO with my boyfriend. We cant merge our two families because, unfortunately, they've met about 3 times and had awkward small talk (my mom and dad have Russian accents and his have Spanish accents. Neither of our parents speak perfect English and lead COMPLETELY DIFFERENT lives and have other friends and last time it was extremely awkward ). So meeting together is not an option. What does everyone think of this for a two year relationship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): "I've never known couples to merge their families together, generally the only time they cross paths is at a wedding or if one of you has a big birthday party!"Actually my family and my inlaws "merge" all the time since we all live in the same city now. (wasn't always that way).and what's more...now my husband's sister got re-married to a guy whose family also lives in the same city.So now it's not uncommon for us to have these mega multi-family get togethers: my family (my parents, grandparents, sometimes my aunts and their families), my husband's family (his parents, his grandparents), my husband's sister's husband's family (his parents, his brother and sister and their families). bear in mind it's never me or my husband who instigates these huge family mergers since we hate going to any family gatherings let alone merged ones. We like to do our own thing but seems that our families always have a different agenda. Instead my parents or his parents or his sister instigate these big gatherings. They decide to have a gathering for thanksgiving or whatnot and decide to invite the other family over. so for example my inlaws will invite my parents over without telling me. And my family will accept, without telling me but not that I have any right to know or have a say since they were invited on their own after all. It's just kind of weird some times and a bit like "worlds colliding" which is why my husband and I don't like these multi-family get togethers.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 You can't be with everyone at the same time. Some people go half the distance: Year 0 they spend Xmas with the family and New Year's Eve with Significant Other, and then on Year 1 they spend Xmas with Significant and New Year's Eve with Family.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): I've never known couples to merge their families together, generally the only time they cross paths is at a wedding or if one of you has a big birthday party!
My partner and I usually go to one family Xmas eve, then I go to mine in the morning of Xmas day and he will go to his we usually alternate who we have lunch with one year at mine next at his etc... Our families don't live far apart so this arrangement is easy. Boxing day we usually see other relatives uncles, aunts etc...
Don't stress over it though you'll work out a routine just enjoy the chance to enjoy each others company! X
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Generally couples alternate years with each family. You both go to one family one year and both to the other the next.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Typically you invite him to spend the holidays with you, and next year you spend it with his. Families typically do not celebrate together, you either go to his parents or he goes to yours... If you don't want to go to his and he doesn't want to go to yours then you celebrate the holidays with each of your families and meet on New years for example.
I've never heard of families that merge, you either go to his or he goes to yours.
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A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Why dont you both spend xmas eve with your family, xmas days with your own families and boxing day with his family?
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