A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I know nobody wants a wimp. But do all women prefer the self-absorbed jerk with power over the nice, middle class guy who is considerate of a woman's feelings?Is the law of the jungle and the law of human love really the same? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Being treated well and loved is the most important thing which equates to respect. Having things in common, being generous with both time, affection and finances, and not being too demanding are also very important. Compatibility and personalities which get along are obviously so important for any relationship as well as knowing how to enjoy your time together. These are the things that are important to me in a man's behavior as well as having good character. Do I feel like I want to be with him? Are you special to him above everything else, do you love each other, otherwise it's not going to happen.
A
male
reader, oneguy +, writes (14 December 2011):
 Hello Mr.Fellow male friend,Watch -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjoaSj-FDykThis will answer all your questions.Best of luck.Cheers!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): No, can't say I have ever done more than groan at a self absorbed jerk. They say like attracts like so am sure women with the same traits would be attracted to them.
I wouldn't say no to a powerful man though, they have a certain charisma and are not all jerks.
Considerate men whatever their income are always nice to meet, but there has to be a bit more to them, its just one trait. That list changes from woman to woman and then there's the chemistry required.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 All men want vapid bimbos with big breasts who don't talk or think. That's what it sounds like when you say women want powerful rich self-absorbed men.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Wait, does this self-absorbed jerk with power like books?
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Women want socially dominant men above all else. Power and wealth are the most visible means of getting social dominance, but there are other ways - confidence, fame, social savvy, outright thuggishness... depends on the woman's social circle, as well. The point is, is you can get other people to bend to your will, you're in.
There's actually a fairly simple litmus test for figuring out what women want. Look at their history, and see what kind of men they've dated and slept with. Take particular note of the guys who either had a powerful, long-lasting emotional effect on them (the ones they pined over for months or years after the breakup), or the ones who they had a lightning-fast, whirlwind romance with (flings in particular, with one-night stands a distant second). This is why it's so useful to scrutinize a woman's past - you can separate the ones who like decent, confident, socially savvy men from the ones who really want rich, powerful, or thuggish guys.
Either way, it's always some form of social dominance that they want. We're not so far above the law of the jungle as we like to think.
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A
female
reader, cinc71  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 No! I love a man with manners and who thinks the woman is equal to them. It's superficial looks, money it doesn't make you happy. I hope you find someone whose genuine don't give up there's a few left out there.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 I don't think so no. Some of you guys appear to have an obsession with not being nice, as if the opposite of nice is self obsessed jerks.. But thats not how the real world is. Most men tend to be a good mixture of nice and not so nice, as we all have our bad qualities as well as good ones. What WOMEN as a whole wants no one can tell. But certain women prefer certain things, and the one thing that tends to be true is that the ones who are more alike get along better.
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Power is attractive - no doubt about it. Your problem lies in the fact that you're speaking in absolutes. Not all powerful men are asshats and not all middle class men are nice and considerate. Wealthy, powerful men are the MINORITY, while there are plenty of poor to middle class losers, who treat their girlfriends like crap. Being shitty to women has nothing to do with how much money or power you have; it's all about character.If you're nice and a pushover, you can forget about it. No woman will find that attractive. I'd rather be with someone self-absorbed and powerful than someone I can trample on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011):
Different women want different things. If you aren't meeting the women who want what you have to offer then I would examine yourself to figure out why you are attracted to women who are wrong for you.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 December 2011):
Don't do self-absorbed jerks whether he has money or not....
Your not going to get any different answers, so if your looking for reassurance, then all women will say they like nice,considerate guys... don't really prove anything, it's just that your question is poor. Same as asking who wants to be kind or who wants to be evil....
Best to tell us what is really bothering you, and then you'll get real answers that actually help you solve problems and achieve something.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 I would want some sort of combination I guess - although the money is not so important to me as I earn good money and dont need a man to pay for me, I can happily support myself. When I was younger I used to think money was important but recently I have met a man who earns less than me but he is wonderful and we have an amazing relationship, I feel so lucky to have met him and money never even comes into it, I really dont care about that!
Power is sexy, lets admit it - having a successful authoritative man is appealing. No-one wants a wimpy, nicey-nicey guy who lets you walk all over him. But no-one wants an arrogant, self-absorbed selfish a**hole either. So you have to find the middle ground.
This is (in short what I look for in a man):
- Makes me laugh
- Attractive
- Affectionate
- Ambitious
- Motivated
- Happy & outgoing
- Caring
- Thoughtful
- Not a workaholic but still works hard
- Understanding
The list could go on and on but those are the main ones off the top of my head. I always think a little bit of arrogance and being slightly cocky is attractive, but not so arrogant that he is selfish and irritating.
I cant really say where you are going wrong, but maybe you are just too 'nice' - if you are very considerate and always running around after your partner then you might be percieved as soft and a push over. A lot of this comes across in the way you dress and your body language too - if you dress in nice clothes and carry yourself well, if you are confident with your head held high and easily approach women you can appear more successful and wealthy than you actually are.
Quite simply - confidence is attractive. To both men and women. So if you appear confident and happy then generally you will be attractive to the opposite sex, regardless of how much money you earn.
And keep this in mind - when a woman meets a man she doesnt know how much he earns, in fact you often dont have this conversation until you have been together a while. So the wealthy, powerful thing doesnt have much appeal unless she is a gold digger hanging around trying to pick out the richest guy she can find. To most women they wont even know how powerful or wealthy a man is - they will look at his confidence and his charisma and make a judgement from that.
So if you appear succesful (even if you're just succesful at being a factory worker, you are still good at your job therefore sucessful) and confident then you will be appealing to women. Dont be afraid to talk about yourself a bit rather than listening to her all the time (of course this is important but you need to big yourself up a bit too!).
I hope this helps and good luck!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Women (collectively) want to find guys who are THEMSELVES..... that is, who are TRUE to who they "really are"..... and are not putting on airs and trying to be someone WHO THEY ARE NOT!!!!IF a guy is rather wimpy, then there is likely a woman "out there" who would like to find a "rather wimpy" guy... and when they meet, they will "click."Same for all other "types" of guys. Some women WILL go for the 'self-absorbed jerk"... some for the warm, caring guy who makes himself aware of his lady's wants, needs and desires.... and will attend to them....It's not reasonable to generalize about EITHER guys or girls.... EXCEPT to say that for every Paul there is a Pauline.... and, if you look hard enough, you're likely to find that lovely lady with whom you fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle....Good luck.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): The answer is yes. Not very PC and all the women they want can disagree but power is the greatest aphrodisiac.
The thing is though you can have all sorts of power. The power to make people laugh is just as powerful as that of being able to buy expensive things.
Look women are all different and you can't generalize but it is a hell of a lot easier if you have wealth and power. You can be as ugly as you want and as much of a prick as you want and you will have women flocking to you still.
"Is the law of the jungle and the law of human love really the same?" No because the law of the jungle is reality and love is something that varies from person to person.
If you are the most dominant in the pack, whether that's through having lots of money or whether you're quite simply someone everyone thinks is hilarious then you're going to be more attractive than the guy next to you.
Look real love takes time to develop in most cases but if you're not able to compete and get the girl in the first place then how is she going to fall in love with you?
Besides power and wealth may be a preference but most girls are well aware that's highly unlikely to be a reality for them so we get the girls who are realistic and not gold diggers.
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reader, Claraw1  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 I personally would rather a man who treats with honesty and respect, and is kind and considerate rather than the richest man in the world who is self-absorbed and treats me like garbage. Thats just me, I know other women who are interested in men who have money and power, every woman is different and wants different things.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 No all woman are different. All different woman want all different things and look for all different types of men, it is impossible to just categorise all woman in the same way. Everyone is different with different attractions and different likes and dislikes.
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