A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a question for guys and gals.me and my boyfriend got into a conversation about sex and masturbation. he told me that when he masturbates he fantasizes about things, and when we have sex and i close my eyes, he thinks that im fantasizing about someone else.i, on the other hand, explained to him that when i close my eyes im just focusing on the feeling, and that when i masturbate, im thinking about being sexy and the only time a guy is on my mind is if im thinking about being sexy for him in particular (like hes watching)i dont fantisize about anything at all simular to what he says he does, and actually, im kinda surprised to here that that is what he thinks about. he was also surprised to here that my imagination wasnt anything like his.my question is.. what do you think about when your masturbating and/or having sex, and what do you think your partner thinks about when he/she is masturbating/having sex.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): I'm a virgin but when I masturbate I either watch porn or read erotic stories. I find it that the stories turn me on more but if I don't have much time I watch porn to get turned on faster.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Masturbation - usually about some romance/erotic book I've read.. like imaging a sexy end to Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice", or I make up my own stories in my head.
Sex.. I'm too caught up to think of anything at all.. it's all about feelings, sensations, touch, taste and smell.
A partner, don't care about his masturbation activities, none of me business.. and if we is having sex and he can still have time to think, I'm disappointed in me, because I must be doing something wrong.
Hope this helps, but remember, people are all different, so don't get upset if your partner's fantasies aren't what you want.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
 yep during sex it's about the feelings... it's hard to stare at the partner....
during masturbation it's usually about him and to be honest it's with him with someone else that is more his type.... that actually gets me hot...
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (4 December 2011):
 I fantasize about my boyfriend going down on me.... I find him so incredibly hot & sexy and he turns me on so much ;)I try to do it 4-5 times a week just for the fun of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): Masturbation, I save it for when I am with my partner, otherwise, to me, its a waste of my energy. *shrugs* Even that in itself strays from the 'norm' of preconceived notions about masturbation/sex.
So when I do it, its for my parnter. The effects it has on him, and where it will lead.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Its easy to assume that everyone thinks and feels the same as you... So I see why you are surprised. I'm equally surprised when I hear what gets you off, because thinking about "being sexy" doesn't do it for me. I think about sex when I want to get there, and my sexual fantasies, but they are private. I get off to the idea of the "illegal" or "forbidden", so any fantasy up in that nature typically works for me. I often think about strangers, people I make up in my mind, or the things I saw in porn. Rarely do I masturbate to someone I know in person, or even a real life person (which means Legolas the elf works for me, but not Orlando Bloom).
And when I close my eyes while having sex, if I want to get to an orgasm, I have to think of something else than what's actually going on. I don't do it because I don't find my partner sexy, but for me I need a lot of mental stimulation as well, and staring at the ceiling while he's down on me just isn't hot.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Some people just never fantasize during masturbation, and are genuinely confused about why people think masturbation has anything to do with sex. But most people do fantasize during masturbation.
I fantasize about things I've seen in real life when I masturbate. I focus on sensations at the beginning of sex, but I either need to have a good view of what's going on during sex or I need to fantasize to actually get there.
My boyfriend is one of those people who doesn't fantasize during masturbation, he only fantasizes to "get things started" but then just focuses on sensation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): During sex I'm completely focused on all the sensations and the sounds, smells and feelings of my partner.
During masturbation I'm either imagining sex with my girlfriend or some other girl or I'm just using porn to stimulate my senses for a quick release.
My girlfriend is the same, she uses porn or a mental image of a guy, most of the time me.
Before you ask, neither of us consider fantasizing about other people cheating. Fantasy is fantasy nothing else. The only line we know not to cross is to have one specific other person be our constant source of fantasy, that indicates a problem. As for porn we both view that as a tool and have no emotional connection to it at all. I haven't watched any in months actually.
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (4 December 2011):
 During sex for me its about the feelings, sensations and how much I am pleasuring the person I am with...
Masturbation though lets my imagination run wild. I sometimes just focus on the sensations, other times wild fantasies.
Hope that helps x
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