| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 31 December 2011: Also out of over 50,000 prostituted women, 92% HATE what they do and would get out if they had the means. Every ex prostituted woman I know refers to prostitution as pay-per-rape. So I would seriously caution against that.... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 31 December 2011: OP, you're still not listening to anything anyone who isn't sympathizing with you is saying. You have an obsession with this idea of sex politics and have this unbelievably unhealthy view of sex in general. There's no way you can have any kind of ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 30 December 2011: OP you are obviously not here to listen to what anyone has to say and haven't listened to ONE WORD of what any aunt here is saying unless he gives you a pat on the head and the sympathy you feel you deserve for the torment you've suffered at the ... (read in full...)
Husband (also doctor) addicted to teen porn...just told me he hates me for asking him
Q. My husband has admitted to being addicted to porn years ago but it was never a real issue because he hid it. I recently borrowed his laptop and he had over 89 bookmarks of 'teen' porn and he used the name like 'morgage payments' to hid the sites. On ...
A. 30 December 2011: Thanks Cerberus. :)
I am not sure this is so much a porn issue as an emotionally abusive jerk issue, though porn addiction can sometimes bring out EXTREME defensiveness (as in saying "I hate you"). I think the only way to salvage this is to go to... (read in full...)
Do all women taste the same?
Q. Hey everyone :) Im abit confused...me and my boyfriend got on the subject last night about givin each other oral. He said that a i tasted amazing :) which is good for both of us because we do enjoy it alot. But my question is... Do all woman tast...
A. 30 December 2011: We all taste and smell and look different.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change the taste of my "downstairs" to a little more sweeter?
Q. Hi everyone ! My question is : Is it possible to change the taste of my "downstairs" to a little more sweeter? Dont get me wrong , I dont have a horrible smell or taste , It's just that it is slightly more salty than Sweet. ...
A. 30 December 2011: You can't really change the way your vagina tastes. It's not necessarily supposed to taste actually sweet, salty is not an unusual "flavor" to be. If you're self conscious you can shower/bathe right before oral sex and the smell and taste should ... (read in full...)
Alcohol ruins relationships right??
Q. My Mother had always had a drinking problem and it drove my parents to divorce. I made a promise to myself I would never drink or be with someone who drinks since I thought 'If alcohol ruined my parents relationship then it would to the same to ...
A. 29 December 2011: There's a difference between being an alcoholic and having an occasional drink. I would recommend going to an al anon meeting, for many reasons, and trying to figure out what you need to do to get past your mom's drinking. One of the things they ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex for 4 months, but b/f watches porn 4 times a week
Q. ok you all saay don't worry about the porn, it took a while and l have excepted that this man of mine will watch porn till he die, ok what do l do about he can watch pron all day or about 3 to 4 times a week, but l have not had sex for about 4 ...
A. 28 December 2011: Though there's incredibly little information in this post, if he's watching a lot of porn and not having sex I'd say he's an addict. Have you tried talking to him about it?... (read in full...)
Deep throating without gagging?
Q. Looking to hear from fellow females on the subject of deep throating. I have been trying to do it for my man but end up gagging within seconds. Is there a good way to do it without gagging? I heard if you lay on a bed with your head hanging over the ...
A. 28 December 2011: You're willing to medicate yourself in order to do a pretty uncommon sex act? Why don't you just tell your man to be happy with normal oral sex and not make yourself miserable?... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 28 December 2011: No one on here is saying you HAVE to wait for "the one" (if there even is such a thing) or even someone special. I didn't wait for "the one" and I don't regret it at all. What we are telling you? That if you expect to find a woman who will wait ... (read in full...)
Do guys find black hair attractive in girls?
Q. i know this is a random question but i just want to see what everyones opinion was, mostly from a guys perspective. Of course a lot of guys like or "love" blondes then theres the burnettes and red heads. what about the girls with black hair? in my ...
A. 28 December 2011: There are no traits that are universally attractive or not attractive.... (read in full...)
After 1.5 years boyfriend wants sex but I want to wait till I'm married
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half now and he told me that he wants to have sex now, but i feel like i want to wait until im married how can i still make him feel loved without going on to have sex...
A. 28 December 2011: It seems a little strange that after 1.5 years together he's suddenly decided this. Did something bring this up that you can think of? You can go as far as your feel comfortable with to keep each other satisfied, whether that's oral sex, hands,... (read in full...)
I think I made the wrong choice to go to New Zeland over wales. What should I do?
Q. Hey. This isn't a relationship question but I'd like some other opinions because I'm getting way too wrapped up in my worries. I'm a geography student and this year I have the opportunity to go 'abroad' as part of my course. My choices are Wales or...
A. 28 December 2011: I would also be happy to take your tickets to New Zealand! I spent some time there as a student, mostly alone (I was with a group of people I didn't know well and couldn't stand) and had an absolute BLAST. It's the most amazing country I've ever ... (read in full...)
My ex circulated racy photos of me on facebook and now he wants to be friends again?! I can't forgive him...what should I do?
Q. About the ex: I was 16 years old and he was 18 then. We met online and hit it off pretty well, though he was pretty cautious about our friendship at first. He doesn't trust people easily. Well, for some reason, he started asking me for relatio...
A. 27 December 2011: You cannot be "friends" with this guy. He will never be your friend, he will always be a parasitic controlling manipulative needy jerk. This guy is intimidating and harassing you to get what he wants and if you give him an inch (agreeing to listen) ... (read in full...)
Very unpredictable period
Q. Hello- my questions is not a relationship question.. This question is for the women on here.. I get my period every 4 to 5 months..and when I do get it its really heavy.. And I never know when I'm going to get it again. Does anyone know why this ...
A. 27 December 2011: Could be a hormonal problem, could be other things, but anything that it is you need to see your doctor to find out because it's a sign something is wrong.... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have video sex
Q. My boyfriend wants to have video sex but i'm nervous and don't know what all to do in video sex Can anyone describe the feeling of having video sex??? and What all can a girl do in video sex to please her man???? ...
A. 27 December 2011: Do you mean webcam sex while apart? For the reasons mentioned below, I'd stick to phone sex since that's a bit harder to capture and distribute. With a webcam he could be sitting there taking screenshots the whole time and you'd have no idea until ... (read in full...)
He wants a BJ but I backed out of giving him one
Q. Hey ok i promised my Boyfriend I'd give him a BJ for the first time but when I got to his house and he *whiped it out* i paniced and said "i don't want us to get caught" he said i broke his promise now he is consently saying "u gonna back out of ...
A. 27 December 2011: You have the right to say no to any sexual act at any time for any reason. The only people who disagree are rapists. Getting a blow job is not a right, regardless of whether you promise or not.
The bottom line here is that your boyfriend does not... (read in full...)
Can I operate to become a virgin again?
Q. Can i have my virginity back by doing an operation?...
A. 27 December 2011: Virginity is not a physical thing, it is an idea. Once you've lost your virginity you can't get it back. Sorry.... (read in full...)
How do I hide that I'm no longer a virgin?
Q. I am deeply in love with a boy.one day i mate((sex) with a condam) with his at that time my hyman was broken and bleeded. now he doesn't have any interest in me so can i get marry another person? if so can that person know about my virginity? what i ...
A. 26 December 2011: Your hymen can break from falling weirdly, doing the splits as a kid, doing pretty much anything that could possibly strain and poke that area.... (read in full...)
Will the stubble in my vagina put my Bf off?
Q. Okay quick question! I'm going to have foreplay for the first time soon with my boyfriend. I have been shaving my vagina for years, but it always feel stubbly. I know boys prefer a shaved one to a hairy one, but im afraid the stubble will put h...
A. 26 December 2011: I cannot speak for him or for all guys, but every guy I have dated have all vastly preferred hairy (but trimmed) over shaved/stubble. Stubble can give guys a nasty rash both on their face if they give oral or during sex.... (read in full...)
I fell in love with my best friend, but he is after another girl. What else to do?
Q. My best friend (male) was dumped almost a year ago by his GF. He was and I believe still is crushed about it and I been with him over all of it. Unfortunately, for me I fell in love with him and now I feel devastated that he is telling me he is ...
A. 25 December 2011: Well there isn't much of a mess here at all, it's just a devastating situation that's fairly straight forward. You love him, but he doesn't feel the same. He values you a lot as a friend and wants to keep you as a friend, but isn't sure how to do ... (read in full...)
I want to wear my bikini, but my Bf gets teary and upset at me doing this. Is he over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend gets all teary and upset when I express interest in wearing a bikini. He hates the idea of someone looking at me but I'm proud of my body and sometimes I just want to show it (most of the time however I like adequate coverage...) Is ...
A. 25 December 2011: Does he also leave notes around the house suggesting a burka? Because it's the same theory behind both, that other men shouldn't be looking at you.
I can understand being jealous if you were dressing up for a specific person, but shouldn'... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to turn my Girlfriend on just before I have to leave? even though I know it can go no where?
Q. just a quick question. Is it wrong to get your girlfriend turned on like "about to jump you turned on" just before you leave to go back home? I still live at home with the family, I'm a student and can't seem to find a job, always seems to be someo...
A. 24 December 2011: Sorry I didn't see your followup. It doesn't really matter if you don't intend to be mean, from your description she obviously does not enjoy it. So keep better track of time before you try to get busy.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to turn my Girlfriend on just before I have to leave? even though I know it can go no where?
Q. just a quick question. Is it wrong to get your girlfriend turned on like "about to jump you turned on" just before you leave to go back home? I still live at home with the family, I'm a student and can't seem to find a job, always seems to be someo...
A. 24 December 2011: Depends. Does she ever do this to you back in a clearly fun teasing way (no hint of malicious anything or anger)? If so, she may find it amusing, if not, then quit it.... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him to eat more pineapple? How do I tell him his semen tastes horrible?
Q. It's mostly just way too salty. The taste is still in my mouth, and this is hours later! I dont want to hurt my boyfriend's pride, but I dont really want to have to feel like I'm drowning at the beach (How romantic) or something. I heard pine...
A. 23 December 2011: Why not have him cum into a towel then? You shouldn't have to feel gross for hours so the orgasm is a bit better. Just get him close with your mouth then finish him with your hands.... (read in full...)
I have tried to play hard to get, that did not work. I have tried a little of a direct approach. Not sure what to do anymore
Q. A mutual crush developed between me and my boss at my last work place. However, nothing developed as we were working together. While I was there his body language towards me was a dead give away. It took a while for my feelings to start ...
A. 23 December 2011: Well sure, it's scary and difficult to ask someone out. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. I was a total MESS when I asked out my current bf and could not concentrate until I'd heard back from him (fb messages). But I'm so glad I took the leap ... (read in full...)
Is there any difference between pleasing yourself and being pleased by someone else?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 19 and pretty much completely inexperienced, generally and sexually. The only sexual thing I've done is given a guy a handjob. I have never shown skin before, and have never experienced anything sexual on my part with a guy. ...
A. 22 December 2011: It's different. They aren't psychic so of course every touch won't feel exactly how you want/expect, but it feels very good and very different to have someone else do it. If you trust him not to and let him know what feels good and what doesn't, it ... (read in full...)
Never orgasmed
Q. I have had 2 serious boyfriends, been with a few guys casually and never been able to have a orgasm, neither have i been able to give myself a orgasm only about 3 months ago i started masturbating before that i never did , i bought a vibrator that ...
A. 22 December 2011: Are you sure you peed and didn't ejaculate? If it didn't have a strong smell it's likely to have been ejaculate and not urine. Some women's orgasms are things like leg spasms/shaking and things like that, if you felt a sensation of relief/release ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 22 December 2011: I suppose then you will be using one of only two chances on your punchcard. Does that mean if the next person you have sex with isn't your soulmate you never get to have sex again?
If you believe sex is what is keeping you from being happy or... (read in full...)
Is it important to have things in common when you date?
Q. Everyone I've dated, and people that have shown interest in me have never shared anything in common with me. Personality, hobbies, likes, interests etc... I was seeing someone for a little over a month and that ended because we had little i...
A. 22 December 2011: Sometimes, sometimes opposites attract. Generally it's only absolutely necessary to have the big things in common (life goals, religion at least compatible, etc...). My current bf and I have pretty much nothing in common in terms of hobbies or ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Can I get an IUD?
Q. Basically, I'm 16 and DO NOT want children for a while. I'm on the pill, but I don't trust it. I hate using condoms- they're too small for my boyfriend, but the large ones are too big, and the friction from them hurts me. So I was wondering- wo...
A. 22 December 2011: You do not need to stay on the pill with an IUD and with the more common IUD (Mirena) it would be dangerous to continue on the pill, as they are both hormonal. Sometimes they won't give IUDs to younger people, sometimes they will, you'd have to talk ... (read in full...)
Don't know how to tell his parents we're pregnant! Needing advice!
Q. I've been in a relationship w/ my bf for over 2 years now. We are looking at getting engaged in 2012 and getting married in 2013. At age 16 I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally and would need fertility drugs in order to get preg...
A. 22 December 2011: I'd wait until 12 weeks for sure, then tell him about how excited you both are. I bet he'll just be excited to have a grandkid on the way! Congratulations and I hope everything goes smoothly.... (read in full...)
I have tried to play hard to get, that did not work. I have tried a little of a direct approach. Not sure what to do anymore
Q. A mutual crush developed between me and my boss at my last work place. However, nothing developed as we were working together. While I was there his body language towards me was a dead give away. It took a while for my feelings to start ...
A. 22 December 2011: If you want a response, you can't hint, you should just go ask him out. People aren't usually as direct as they think when they're hinting at something. If you're not ready to ask him on a date, ask him to go for coffee as it could go either way.... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 21 December 2011: So someone who has sex before you is used up, but you're planning on doing the same to yourself. I'm assuming if you met a woman later who said she'd slept with a random guy to get it over with you'd dump her, according to your current standards. If ... (read in full...)
Why cant my ex just forgive me for cheating on him? I regret my actions yet he's stubborn as hell
Q. I know it's long, hope someone wants to read it though.. I really want to get back with my ex boyfriend who I had 5 years ago (at this time i was 15 and he was 19). He was my first love and I was his, we had a wonderful relationship and...
A. 21 December 2011: Sorry but there is no chance of reconnecting with him. He's not hot and cold, he's all cold. You broke his trust. Sometimes it's possible to fix these things and sometimes it's not. This time it is not possible, not now, not in a year, not ever. I ... (read in full...)
She's on birth control, but the condom slipped... Should we be worried?
Q. My fiance and I were having sex yesterday. We used a condom, but when I came, it started to slide off. It had slid almost halfway off by the time I pulled out. We're worried that some may have come out of the top and gotten inside her. She takes ...
A. 19 December 2011: If she's on the pill and taking it regularly she's protected even if you aren't using a condom. If she takes the morning after pill while already on birth control it will just make her feel very sick. The morning after pill is just a high dose birth ... (read in full...)
Is there a meaning to wet dreams when you have a partner?
Q. I am puzzled by my boyfriend's sex drive. We're still in a fairly new relationship (just 5 months) and we're both in our early 30s. I can't say that we have a ton of sex, at least not as much as I'd like to. We see each other on weekends and usually ...
A. 19 December 2011: They mean nothing. They can be triggered by absolutely anything including the sheets brushing something oddly, needing to pee, unusual sleep patterns (such as being woken or almost woken during the night), really anything. You can't control what you ... (read in full...)
Can emergency contraception cause pregnancy-like symptoms?
Q. Okay... On Dec 6, I posted a question asking about emergency contraception. (I'll include it at the end of my question) I now have a follow up of sorts (if you can call it that) and additional questions. (in a nutshell, my guy and I were messi...
A. 18 December 2011: EC can throw off pretty much everything and definitely cause pregnancy like symptoms. Same with birth control. The pill basically works by tricking your body into sort of thinking you're pregnant. I can't be 100% sure about this, but I'm fairly ... (read in full...)
Why do women like men more if they have pretty girl friends?
Q. why do women like men more if they have pretty girl friends? when i go out as just myself, i go largely unnoticed; when i take a pretty girl friend with me the other women notice me and treat me differently (more nicely)....
A. 17 December 2011: Because they view you as kind of getting the stamp of approval from someone they deem "high status."... (read in full...)
Being told you shouldn't be angry...does that work for ANYONE?
Q. i feel like everytime i have a disagreement with my boyfriend we don't so much try to work through a disagreement as much as he tries to explain it away . He says his side of whatevers going on, and basically concludes that therefore, I shouldn't be ...
A. 16 December 2011: Reverse sexism (that by calling out sexism, it's actually worse than what's being called out) is not a real thing. It's just a way to ensure no sexism actually gets called out, ensure women who call it out feel embarrassed for not having prevented ... (read in full...)
Will you get over your soulmate if they die? what about being with them when you pass if your with another?
Q. Do you ever get over loosing your soulmate?? I know some of you may look at this and think "your young you will find someone else and be happy" but I am so heart broken and just cant imagine a life with anyone else. I was in love with the man I call ...
A. 15 December 2011: I'm so sorry this happened. What you need most is just time to grieve. You will never forget him, but eventually you will be able to love someone else and live your life. I hope you have close friends and family members who can help you through ... (read in full...)
I've had sex 5 times now and it still hurts!
Q. hi, I am now 18 and I had sex with my boyfriend in September. My first time really hurt and it still does now. I have had it about 5 times. The first 4 were with the same person and now I have a new boyfriend who treats me really nicely. I have only ...
A. 15 December 2011: You're most likely not getting enough foreplay and aren't loose enough or lubricated enough (or both). The average woman takes a full 20 minutes of active foreplay to be fully ready. Buy some lube too so that even if you get impatient it won't hurt. ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 15 December 2011: My advice is to wait for someone you care about. What sense is there in losing it just for the sake of losing it?
If you're really set on it though, don't worry about lasting long or performance. You won't be able predict what it will feel lik... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend gets upset that I can't orgasm each time we have sex!
Q. Hi there, I'm 19 and have been sexually active since I was 15.... I've been with 3 guys and all of those I've been in long term relationships with. I enjoy sex but it doesn't make me orgasm and my clit is normally to sensitive when I'm having sex so ...
A. 15 December 2011: Yes you are normal., your boyfriend just has ridiculous expectations. It shows a real lack of understanding for female anatomy and sexuality for him to get upset when you don't orgasm from intercourse. Only 25% of women ever have an orgasm from ... (read in full...)
Being told you shouldn't be angry...does that work for ANYONE?
Q. i feel like everytime i have a disagreement with my boyfriend we don't so much try to work through a disagreement as much as he tries to explain it away . He says his side of whatevers going on, and basically concludes that therefore, I shouldn't be ...
A. 15 December 2011: http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-“crazy”/
Try reading through this.... (read in full...)
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