| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: Male anon, first off, if you're going to write about biological determinism, you should at least get terminology right. Female is not a gender. Female and male are sexes, biologically determined. Men and women are genders, social constructs. There ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: "wimps who are too scared or unlikely"
No. Working through and facing your issues, that takes courage. It's the men who run away and give up because they can't accept that their girlfriend has her own life who are cowards.
Everyone feel... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: I would like to add, I'm certainly not immune to RJ. I bet most people have at least felt pangs of it. My current boyfriend and I were talking and he mentioned he had a MUCH bigger crush on his friend in high school than he did on me and it made me ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: Listening to this it almost seems to be that RJ men find other men's penises disgusting. It's like some kind of reverse midas touch thing, the second a woman comes into contact with one, she becomes a filthy diseased slut. Your line of thinking... (read in full...)
I puked after giving my boyfriend oral sex
Q. Hi..this is really embarrassing but I need some feedback I gave my boyfriend head last night.. I've done it many times before he was my first so he understands I'm still learning!! I normally choke when I go all the way down on him but this tim...
A. 9 April 2012: Why are you trying to get the whole thing in your mouth?! Unless you enjoy deep throating, it's totally unnecessary to go so deep. You just need to get a little past the head in your mouth, then let your hands deal with the shaft.... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt when he's on top?
Q. I lost my virginity recently and i have had sex twice with me on top.It didnt hurt then but yesterday i tried to have sex with my boyfriend on top and it hurt a lot!.Why did that happen and how can we make it comfortable with him on top?...
A. 9 April 2012: I'm guessing it was not the fact that he was on top that it hurt, but the fact that he was in control of the speed and depth. Next time do a lot more foreplay and lube so it won't matter if he starts out a little too quickly for you. Also tell him ... (read in full...)
What should I do with my hands during foreplay?
Q. During foreplay, what are some things I can do with my hands? I feel like I always just run my hands through his hair lol, and not much else. What are some ways I can touch a guy that will drive him crazy?...
A. 9 April 2012: Lots of guys love having their inner thighs rubbed/touched. Gentle tugs on the hair can be hot too, also pulling them closer by the shirt.... (read in full...)
Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?
Q. How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...
A. 9 April 2012: A little under 2 years after losing my virginity is the longest, between high school and college. I decided the freshman hook-up scene at my college was really "unappetizing."... (read in full...)
Why does he press on my bladder area during foreplay?
Q. Hi, My new partner likes to press down on my bladder area just above the bikini line during foreplay but this really makes me want to pee. Is there any reason why a man would like to do this? I'm so worried I will eventually pee on him but I als...
A. 8 April 2012: If you dislike it, just tell him it's uncomfortable. If you like it, make sure you pee ahead of time. OR, don't pee ahead of time and ask him not to press, just have it be full feeling on its own. I sometimes like the sensation of that, but if a guy ... (read in full...)
Guys: How do you get ready in a small time frame to have sex again?
Q. hey guys..me and my g/f love sex..but once when i am done..she is lyk..i want more..lets do it again...i am nt telling that i am not satisfying her but..she njoys it a lot and wants more..but as we all know once we are done it takes some time for ...
A. 8 April 2012: I'm not a guy, but I agree with Cerberus. Use your fingers or give her oral.... (read in full...)
What size penis do women prefer?
Q. I am a man aged 34, iam just wondering on what penis size do women prefers. Is big, small or just average and if big how big. What do women enjoy most while having sex. Do they like when a man comes from the back or when he is on top....
A. 8 April 2012: That average woman has an average length vagina and prefers an average penis size. A large penis often hurts.
All women prefer different things, but what women enjoy most during sex generally isn't when the man comes. That can be fun, but it's not... (read in full...)
Why is b/f so terrible about responding only to my messages?
Q. My boyfriend and I use a texting app that shows when the other person has read your message. Many times, he has read them right away but takes very long to respond or doesn't respond at all. On Facebook, I will message him when I notice he is online ...
A. 8 April 2012: Depending on how long you've been dating, the two options that I think of are 1) he is trying to play it cool and keep you from thinking he's over-eager or clingy. 2) is that he thinks you text him too often. Make sure to pay attention that there is ... (read in full...)
Where in Europe is best for filming the beauty of everyday life?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but please I really need advice on where in Europe has the best action? (Not in that sense). Basically, I have a film project coming up and I have always wanted to film things that are amazing, so the culture, ...
A. 7 April 2012: I think Prague is generally considered the most beautiful city architecture-wise. I most enjoy people watching in Paris or Venice, but I'm sure any large city will be spectacular. Paris just has the whole romance thing going on and seemed to be the ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: "Please don't reply with those rational arguments" There we go again, being rational, what an awful way to think about things. Since you actively don't want logic, reason, or rational thinking, that means you want us to all reply screaming and fr... (read in full...)
Do other couples not sleep in the same bed so they can sleep better?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I are happy together. We are each other's best friends, we share the same interests and spend the majority of our spare time doing fun things together. We spend more time together than the average couple, definite...
A. 7 April 2012: Wow I would definitely go for a place with 2 master suites if it was an option! I didn't even know they thought to do that. I don't know which would be better, my own bedroom or my own bathroom.... (read in full...)
Do beautiful women sometimes go out with unattractive guys just because they like the attention?
Q. Hi All, I have a cousin who for a few months hooked up with this gorgeous chick. She was a 26 year old model, and he was a 40 year old government worker. He was head over heels for her, and spent money on her, took her places, etc. We in the fam ...
A. 6 April 2012: He could have just been nice?
I have heard of both men and women going out with less attractive people though, just to be on a pedestal for awhile, but I don't immediately think that's what happened here.... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 2 years. My chubby wife says it hurts!
Q. Hi, My wife is very overweight and I love her very much. We have not had sex with penetration in almost 2 years. She keeps telling me to be patient but I don't know how much longer I can take it. She says it hurts her as she puts it when I'm bou...
A. 6 April 2012: Why not try a different position then? Like Luvy Lee says, spooning is good in that no one has to be under anyone else.... (read in full...)
Why does it take me a long time to cum?
Q. I'm a girl, why does it take me a long time to come? (how long is a long time when talking about cumming?) I have no idea what this is all about because I've only came twice and I never can feel when I do. The only time I actually. Cum is when he's ...
A. 6 April 2012: The average is somewhere between 20-30 minutes of ACTIVE stimulation, breaks in that will make it take longer.
From your description that you need to pee, it sounds like fingering means fingers inside the vagina. That needing to pee sensatio... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said even though marrying and having children with me would muddy his bloodline, he would overlook it!
Q. Im a 26 year old british asian female, my 31 year old bf is a white american male. We have been together for a few months and recently he expressed a desire to have kids one day in the future. Of course this is great! I would love children with ...
A. 6 April 2012: Why would you want to have children, or even be with, a bigot? You don't want to be with someone who thinks they're doing you a favor by being with you.... (read in full...)
Do other couples not sleep in the same bed so they can sleep better?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I are happy together. We are each other's best friends, we share the same interests and spend the majority of our spare time doing fun things together. We spend more time together than the average couple, definite...
A. 6 April 2012: I've been wanting to do the same. My bf is a very heavy sleeper and he moves around a LOT, while I'm a very light sleeper. In college we did manage to share a twin bed for a few months though. I've suggested sleeping separately (we live together) ... (read in full...)
Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?
Q. Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...
A. 6 April 2012: Bigger is not better! Bigger is often more painful! But don't worry, it will grow back very soon. Just don't scratch too much.... (read in full...)
Sex is still painful
Q. I lost my virginity three years ago to my ex boyfriend, since then I have only slept with him and my current boyfriend. The first few times I had sex it was painful but I thought that was because I was new to it and that it would get better. B...
A. 6 April 2012: Burning sounds like not enough arousal/lube. Have you tried having sex after he gives you oral sex for awhile? It takes the average woman 20 minutes of active foreplay to be fully turned on.
Three years though, is a very long time to not realize ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's mum came home while we were having sex!
Q. Hey aunts and uncles! I have a quick question for the mums out there or anyone really that can help! Long story short me and my boyfriend were over heard having sex today in his house. We are both 21 so not kids! We didn't know she was hom...
A. 5 April 2012: Not that long ago my bf's catholic grandmother walked in on us. We never discussed it and we all just acted like nothing had happened after. It just went away. I'm sure she knows at his age he is having sex! It's embarrassing, but I really don't ... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 5 April 2012: DanielPew what I meant is that it's a big difference for men AND for women, not that it doesn't make a difference.... (read in full...)
Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?
Q. Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...
A. 5 April 2012: Trimmed neatly, not shaved. Shaved leaves nasty awful horrible stubble.... (read in full...)
We met up, got a room & had sex! No protection.
Q. I had unprotected sex with a woman over the weekend. We just met up, got a room and we ended up having sex. The issue is that I finished inside her and she didn't think much about it either. I did mention to her that I was about to finish and she ...
A. 5 April 2012: There's unfortunately nothing you can do about it now. Next time think with your upper head and not your lower and hope she doesn't get pregnant. Did you ask her if she'd take Plan B?... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him for cheating?
Q. Hello, please take the time to read this. My question is about my boyfriend cheating on me. I will explain first and then ask my question. My boyfriend and I got together a year ago after meeting through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately ...
A. 5 April 2012: This guy just sounds like a mess right now. He does drugs, cheats, picks fights, I don't see a reason to give him a second chance, at least not until his life is in order. Saying he thought you were cheating is just a total cop out. Two wrongs don't ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think that a persons profile pictures on Facebook, indicate what sort of person they are?
Q. Does anyone else think that a persons profile pictures on Facebook, indicate what sort of person they are? I ask this because a girl who i've seen around university profile popped up on the side under 'people you may know'. Her photos were public ...
A. 5 April 2012: I think it's pretty normal. Like someone said, Facebook already is kind of narcissistic. While it can be a great resource for connecting with friends, it's also kind of a place to brag about yourself. This was just the way of doing photos when I was ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is addicted to porn.... what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 months... Our relationship is fine in everyway except our sex life. He has admitted to me recently that he is addicted to porn and watches it and masturbates 2-3 times a day. At first sex was never a...
A. 5 April 2012: A porn addiction is not just one of those things people say addiction for but really mean lack willpower, it truly can make someone dependent. Some cases are so bad people lose their jobs and families. In the same way alcoholism is not the fault of ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, and not sure how or even if to tell my boyfriend.
Q. Hey, so I found out today I'm pregnant, possibly by about 6 weeks, despite using the pill, and I'm not sure how or even if to tell my boyfriend and need some advice. We've been together 18 months now, and are looking for a house to buy together....
A. 4 April 2012: Tell him and then discuss where to go from there.... (read in full...)
All husband talks about is cheating and the sex he had while he was married to me!
Q. My husband admits to cheating with dozens of friends and family during our first years of marriage. He also lived with two other women while in the service and I was home pregnant. He got both of them pregnant and left them that way. I am finding it ...
A. 4 April 2012: I recommend you call up a women's shelter for assistance. They often have someone they can direct you to for a free legal consult and from there they can help you out. This is emotional abuse. You are captive to a sadistic narcissist and you need to ... (read in full...)
Is it really cheating if you really love the guy even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. so i have a bit of a stupid question, if a man or woman are married and one of them sleeps with someone else over and over its an affair. but if its just a guy and girl dating, is it still called an affair? and is it really wrong to flirt and sleep ...
A. 4 April 2012: Of course it's still cheating. If his gf didn't love him, she wouldn't still be with him, no matter what the guy you're with says. If the guy you're sleeping with won't end things with his current girlfriend to be with you, he doesn't love you more. ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend think it 'works' to wink at me during oral sex?
Q. I have a quick question. What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you eye contact and winks at you when he is giving you oral sex?.He winks at me other times as well, but it surprised me when he did that during oral sex....
A. 4 April 2012: It was probably just an ego thing for him. Making sure you know he's giving you a present. If you don't like it, just say it pulls you out of the moment.... (read in full...)
Is there a name for my weird fetish?
Q. Hi When I am in bed at night, instead of masturbating over my crush and thinking about sex with her, I do something a little different. I imagine the two of us together in my bed and holding/hugging each other, but kind of really tightly, like...
A. 4 April 2012: That's definitely not a fetish. I think maybe you want to think about her "respectfully" or something and not violate something since you really like her (just a guess though). I've talked to a few guys who feel uncomfortable fantasizing about ... (read in full...)
Minty tingles while giving head?
Q. dear cupid, soo, i've heard that if you chew gum while giving head or suck on a breath mint or something like that right before you do it, the mintiness will cause a kind of tingling sensation for the guy. what i want to know is, does it actually...
A. 4 April 2012: Altoids or ice cubes. Definitely no chewing anything! You don't want to accidentally chomp down on him. And absolutely no cinnamon or warm spicy things. Those can burn. You can always just give it a try if he's up for it. If you want to see if he ... (read in full...)
Finding 'the One'.....
Q. How can i find the 'right one'? Every time i speak to a guy, we meet up and text and speak over the phone and facebook, and then they just stop talking to me? this has happened a few times now and i'm tired of getting hurt. I just want to settle ...
A. 4 April 2012: You can bet you won't find someone great if you are desperate for him to be there. Trust me, it's possible to smell desperation a mile away and it will send guys running. If you have other things going on in your life, you won't be giving off the "I ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 4 April 2012: Cerberus, everything you're making continues to be a straw man argument. Do you really have so little material to work with that you have to find something else to argue about? I have yet to see you attempt to make an argument other than either that ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy wants YOU to tie HIM up?
Q. My boyfriend is into restraints, or whatever it's called, where your hands are tied to the bedpost, and sometimes feet are tied to the.... bottom of the bed? wtf is it called? But anyways, he said once that he wants me to tie him up... What do...
A. 4 April 2012: If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it then! There's no obligation that you have to do something simply because your partner enjoys it.... (read in full...)
He got nasty when I got ill and couldnt have sex!
Q. Hi,I had terrible problems with my stomach including constant pain for a whole year and spent that time in and out of the medical centre. Then my condition worsened. For a while it looked like I was going to have an operation and I was absolutely ...
A. 31 March 2012: Also to add, morning sex is a bonus, not a right. What guy just crawls on top expecting sex EVERY morning? I mean morning sex can be lovely, but it's not something he's entitled to.... (read in full...)
How do I control my sexual urges? I've gone from a highly sexual relationship to one where there's no sex yet
Q. I was in a long term relationship where I was having sex about 5 times a week, now I'm no longer in that relationship I'm finding that I'm having problems adjusting to having no sex life, I'm with another guy now but he's a virgin and we haven't ...
A. 31 March 2012: Well if you're not having an orgasm, that would definitely do it. It's like being hungry and then being allowed to smell a steak for awhile, then not being allowed to eat it. Have you tried other techniques than what you're doing? Such as bathtub ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 31 March 2012: What emotional aspect about chick flicks is so different from the emotional aspect of any dude movie where the guy lands Angelina Jolie? There is no difference between the two. If you want to talk about insecurity from Hollywood, then you have to be ... (read in full...)
My Friend will not associate with unattractive People, is this common?
Q. I'm 40, he's 22 and we've only been friends a short while. He's very intelligent - and I thought deep, until he told me that he doesn't associate with unattractive people because it badly reflects on him. He's heterosexual and his male friends ...
A. 31 March 2012: It's not a generational thing, your friend is just shallow. He doesn't care about the quality of someone's character, all that matters is appearance. ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 31 March 2012: Your point is basically that even though the vast majority of media features hot women as scenery, props, and decoration to the male leads, when the occasional shirtless man appears among the countless sexy babes in everything, it's exactly the same ... (read in full...)
I want a romantic boyfriend who plans surprises!
Q. Last Night I saw my boyfriends roommate leave with his girlfriend and I could not figure out where they went it's none of my business of course, but they just vanished and when I woke up this morning I saw a bag and a few blankets and a bottle of ...
A. 30 March 2012: It doesn't have to be the guy who is always romantic, if you want to go for midnight picnics or walks in the rain or anything like that, make it happen. Not all guys are romantic cheeseballs, and that's OK and doesn't make him a bad boyfriend.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy wants YOU to tie HIM up?
Q. My boyfriend is into restraints, or whatever it's called, where your hands are tied to the bedpost, and sometimes feet are tied to the.... bottom of the bed? wtf is it called? But anyways, he said once that he wants me to tie him up... What do...
A. 30 March 2012: Why is it more natural for women to be tied up?... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 30 March 2012: Ogling? That's no different from say going to the beach. There is a huge difference between seeing a mostly clothed person in a non-sexual place and actively seeking out graphic hardcore porn so you can masturbate to it. There is NO difference betw... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Can somebody help me? Why are men so reluctant to get rid of their porn collection even when they say their girlfriend is enough and is beautiful? Everybody says something like everyone has fantasies what does that mean? They are looking at the ...
A. 30 March 2012: Well it's very habit forming. Most men have probably been using it since they were fairly young, for some it was their first sexual experience. I'd imagine it's hard for someone who's rarely masturbated without porn to change.
The people who say ... (read in full...)
He got nasty when I got ill and couldnt have sex!
Q. Hi,I had terrible problems with my stomach including constant pain for a whole year and spent that time in and out of the medical centre. Then my condition worsened. For a while it looked like I was going to have an operation and I was absolutely ...
A. 27 March 2012: Holy smokes what a jerk! I don't even know what to say, he obviously has no respect for you whatsoever. I would say what happens if you really get sick, but you were in the hospital and need surgery and this IS how he's behaving. You are not a sex ... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 18 March 2012: I think I see where you're coming from and speaking as a woman, I can tell you there is an enormous difference for you the first time you have sex without a barrier method. It's very different and imo much more intimate feeling. It's not just a ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
