A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 and I've been dating someone from my university for two months. We've planned a 3 day trip to another state for spring break. We both think it would be really fun to explore another city together.However, my mom was furious when she found out. Reasons are obvious, especially that a multi-day trip requires sharing the same hotel room. She has been angrily nagging me to get my own room, or to not go. I understand her, but I know I'm old enough to make my decisions. But because of this, I wonder if I will give my friends the wrong impression, since we have only dated for 2 months. Because of this, my bf and I talked about the physical stuff and both agreed that it's definitely too early to do anything with one another. Actually I didn't think the conversation was necessary, considering we're both conservative. But I'm wondering if my conservative friends and community will get the wrong message. I'm a virgin and most of my friends are too. I know it's not a big deal for many to share a room, but I should consider my background and people around me. Should I reconsider for my reputation? Is it too early to go on vacation together? Even with seperate rooms?Thank you
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 March 2012):
 You are 21. You mom needs to start trusting you to be able to make the "right" decision.
If it makes it easier on YOU - get separate rooms.
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (15 March 2012):
Just share the same room and save money. Thats dum your in college. Money is tight. Why get another room.. and why would anyone find out? your going together, no one else is going. dont tell them.......................................................
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 March 2012):
Living in a small village myself, I know all about community reputation. I've always had the habit of being really private, almost secretive about my plans because of that.
So go on vacation and choose the room arrangement you feel most comfortable with. I know having separate rooms makes everything more expensive, but if it eases the pressure, just do it. Plus in the end it's entirely up to you how much time you spend in those separate rooms ;-)
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A
female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Make the decision that reflects YOUR personal values, whatever they may be. Morals and beliefs are one of the most important factors in what defines whether we end up happy or miserable--always do what feels right to you and don't be bossed around by others. They are entitled to hold their own opinions, but at 21 it's up to you to make the decisions. At 21 I'd already been out of home for 4 years, lived in a different city, then a different country from my parents, and had many of my own relationships and friendships that they were there to support me through rather than lead me through. Parents will always give guidance, but it often starts out with good intention and ends up serving them more than it does their children. Always listen to what they have to say, but adopt their decisions as your own only when you truly believe it's what's best for you as an individual and not just best for them!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Just get separate rooms. It will make everything so much easier. It's not worth all the trouble this seems to be causing your family and friends. Separate rooms doesn't mean you can't hang out in each others' rooms until bedtime.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): From original poster
I see. The problem is we are not planning to sleep together, but I feel that my community will feel that way no matter what. Just because we go on vacation, regardless of room arrangements.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 A multi-day trip does not require that you share the room. Get your own room and that will be it.
By the way, if you were to sleep together, I think you wouldn't need to go to another city. Your community will get the message it chooses to get, whatever you do.
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