A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together nearly 5 months, and we had sex for the first time about a month ago. Since then, we've had sex around 10 times but for some reason he can never orgasm, even after we've been doing it for 1 hour. He can orgasm with oral sex or if I use my hand, but its just intercourse that he can't orgasm from - he said that he enjoys it but he can never get quite close enough. Is there anything I can do to help with this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): Is he on meds? Anti depressants will totally mess up stuff like that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think its also an issue, because we only see each other every 2 weeks. I'd feel a bit bad if I asked him not to masturbate for 2 weeks lol but I'll ask him to cut back on the frequency. I think that probably is the reason why, because before me he hadn't slept with anyone since Dec 2010 so I think he'd gotten used to the sensation of his hand.
Thank you for all your advice :)
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 He can try positions where he gets more stimulation, for instance in missionary putting your legs inside his can create more friction (just be conscious that this can make the condom slip off easier, so check the base of it periodically).
Also he might want to try to lay off the masturbation for awhile. His hand is a lot more firm than a vagina, so it's possible to become used to that sensation, same as how women can sometimes become temporarily desensitized by frequent extended vibrator use.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (15 March 2012):
Hi - I wouldnt worry too much, it sounds like you have found ways for him to achieve orgasm. there could be a number of reasons why he wont come with penetration alone.
The angles required between you, the position of your bones, how wet you are all make important contributors to how it feels for the man.
Does it worry him? Is he happy? encourage him to give you feedback and try lots of different positions to try different angles - see what he likes...
He may need to learn to give feedback like, yes keep doing that and faster / slower etc to you...
You have both only just started to learn each others bodies - it takes a few months to really start pleasuring each other well.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): I will suffer from this from time to time. In my case the problem arises from me not being in a relationship for a while, in which case I resort to masturbation for sexual release. I then get used to that type of sensation, which feels quite different than a woman's vagina. So when I do being having sex regularly with a woman, it takes time for me to adjust.It's not that masturbating feels any better, it's just different. That's probably why he can orgasm when you use your hand and with oral, as it's closer to what he's used to right now.My advice is to ask him if he's masturbating. If he is, it would probably make it easier for him to orgasm from sex if he stopped that, or at least cut back on the frequency. The biggest thing, though, is for your not to get frustrated by this, particularly if he isn't. Just be patient and it should sort itself out in time.
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