A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello All,My bf and I have been together for 1.5 years, and we have lived together for a few months. We generally have great sex and frequently. My one big concern is that sometimes he can't hold and erection or reach orgasm. We'll keep trying and it will go soft. Sometimes he doesn't want sex at all. I do all sorts of fun things with him, so I don't think the sex is boring.I also know that he has used porn for a long time. He had told me a couple of times that he decided he wouldn't use it anymore, but then he did and I found out later. This has been an issue of dishonesty more so than porn usage. I have been supportive of the sort of porn that he likes, and suggested watching it together maybe to try to incorporate it into our real-life sex.Every time he can't stay aroused it really hurts my feelings. I feel like I am not attractive enough to keep him up, even when I'm throwing myself at him. I'm a bit overweight, so that is also an insecurity of mine. I wonder if he thinks I'm too fat. Do you think he's getting his satisfaction from porn? Or is he just not into me physically?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): TIP:
I have a tip for women if you don't like porn use in a relationship find out early and tell them it is a deal breaker. I didn't tell my boyfriend that this annoyed me until I saw his porn and now we have problems, he told me he didn't have any then later claimed he thought I meant physical porn as in magazines. He thought I knew all about it so he got annoyed when being told to stop. I didn't know. He claims he was thinking of me sometimes at the same time as watching it, it might be a white lie I don't know, probably didn't think of me everytime. It took to long for him to stop for my liking now that's all I can think about. He describes it as "harmless fun" I can't stand that sentence.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): I think he is getting his satisfaction from porn.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 March 2012):
 It's not that he's getting satisfaction from it, but porn can desensitize him to real life. Not because it's better, just because it's different and habit forming/addictive. If he wants to really make things better, he needs to completely quit, go cold turkey for awhile.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn
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