Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, marvar34  +, writes (16 March 2012):
marvar34 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your helpful advices .. so I think I have to keep it to myself for now ... and not gonna be very careful about being cut... thanks again...
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (14 March 2012):
Since I am often away from home I would be disappointed if my wife didn't masturbate! - don't worry about looking after youself, its fine and healthy, but worry about your boyfriend - he will be a prime heart attack candidate in a few more years. Get him to take control of his life, a healthy body will make him more successful at work as well. Good luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 I do not think he doesn't love you... and I'm sorry he won't go for help...
I really really REALLY like my hand held shower massager... and he will never catch you in the shower...
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A
male
reader, Vainfall  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 It may sound awkward but according to the way you put things in line, you sound like the ideal partner. You are caring, you have the right "urges" and you seem to be absolutely understanding on most of the terms your partner goes with. You shouldn't feel weird or ashamed on expressing those urges even if he is around. Just like a few ppl have said before me, he may come around sooner or later if you go your way:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): dont tell
enjoy yourself
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (13 March 2012):
Its very normal.. and if you got caught maybe his sex drive will come back.. I am assuming he is around your age soo sex drive is still there. i wouldnt tell him.. what are u gona say like i jerk it when you arent home... Just start doing it when he walks in or when your siting down
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Masturbation is quite normal, but in a marriage, a man should be pleasing his wife more often than once a month. Even if he has erectile problems or lack of sex drive, he can please a woman with his tongue. To answer your question, I don't see any point in telling him that you masturbate regularly. What good would that do? If masturbating fulfills your needs and you are otherwise happy in the marriage, then just do it.
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A
female
reader, marvar34 +, writes (13 March 2012):
marvar34 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes we are doing it once a month or even less ... I asked him if he does masterbate or if he is cheating I even told him its ok if you got bored and want to try someone else and alowed him and asked him just not love them... so he denies all ... and blames work pressure and alcohol ... and I believed him ... I just gave up on having sex with him ... also for some times I asked for it alot and tried everything ... but got rejected for many times so now if he wants to do it despite beeing horny I cant enjoy it ... so I just lay there and wait for him to com afterward I will go for clean up and ofcurse to take care of myself...we never wnt to terapy or soon ... he refuses he says I know its because of alcohol and stress from his job .... and it will get better ... I dont knw
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 March 2012):
 If you're only doing it once a month, I can almost guarantee you he's doing it in secret as well. Maybe you can suggest masturbating together? I think though that you should probably work on why he has lost his sex drive. Has he been to the doctor? If yes and inconclusive, a therapist?
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A
female
reader, marvar34 +, writes (13 March 2012):
marvar34 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the answer ... I didnt want to just talk to him like that ... if I deside to tell him , I sure will tel him in some way maybe funny or I will come up with something else... don know yet
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A
female
reader, marvar34 +, writes (13 March 2012):
marvar34 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno at first he didnt want to accept having a problem but later on he accepted the fact and balamed alcohol and work pressure ... I asked him time to time to see a doctor but he refuses ... I almost tried every thing .. and for a while I was depressed and been thinking ok Im not that young anymore and he does not love me ... to occupy myself started to continue my education and went back to university ... than I got back my selfconfidence when I got lots and lots of attention from my classmate or even my professors ... so to keep myself from cheating I started to take care of myself ... so now Im ok get the atention I need from universty guys flerting with me and taking care of myself and getting love from my bf ... I know .. splitted but I cant think of anything else... anyway.. I hate beeing cut doing it so I thought maybe I find a way to tell him somehow ...
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (13 March 2012):
In general I love the idea of a woman masturbating -- it says that she is in touch with her sexuality, that she's explored what works for her so she can guide me to better please her. That said, I can't quite imagine how it would come up in a conversation. "Hello dear, how was your day, did you know that I've been wanking?" IMO it's a very personal thing and best kept that way until very particular circumstances arise. For example, in the midst of foreplay once I asked my wife to show me how she would pleasure herself.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 March 2012):
FWIW, in my house my guy is happy to have me masturbate.. and i'm happy to have him do it... I often involve him in it.. he will hold me and play with my breasts while I "take care of myself"
you should just invite him to join you and if he says no just say "ok i'll go take care of it myself" and be light and breezy about it...
the bigger problem is that he lost his sex drive 4 years ago has he been to the doctor for a work up to determine what's going on?
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