| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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How do I get my wife to see a dentist?
Q. Hi, My wife has really stained teeth. I'd like her to get them looked at but don't know how to broach the subject. She could also do with flossing more but doesn't. How do I get her to a dentist?...
A. 15 April 2012: "Did you know that not flossing and allowing plaque to build up on teeth and gums can eventually find its way dowm into one's body and begin to clog arteries?"
Actually that's not quite how it works. Gum disease hurts your heart because it cause... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 13 April 2012: "Plenty of women don't like it, but plenty of women are OK with it. Plenty of men watch it, but plenty of men don't."
60% of women don't want it in their relationship, 25-30% of men don't watch. That's a pretty big disparity there, so clearly just... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 13 April 2012: "it is harmless"
According to whom? Not according to every psychology conference on it, not according the vast majority of studies, not even according to porn producers (who relish the fact that it is addictive).
Given that 88.6% of porn contain... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 13 April 2012: You're acting a bit like this woman murdered your dog. Is there some reason you can't simply say you are uncomfortable with it? Why are you wanting to go through every possible third party and even wanting to call the police over a photo of you in a ... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to see a dentist?
Q. Hi, My wife has really stained teeth. I'd like her to get them looked at but don't know how to broach the subject. She could also do with flossing more but doesn't. How do I get her to a dentist?...
A. 13 April 2012: Well the problem with stains are that if they are severe or anything but yellow surface stains, she can't simply get them whitened, she will need to have the surface filed off and veneers put on, and that would be extremely expensive (around $10k ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 12 April 2012: Male anon, first off, if you're going to write about biological determinism, you should at least get terminology right. Female is not a gender. Female and male are sexes, biologically determined. Men and women are genders, social constructs. There ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: She won't be notified for reporting it and unless there's pornographic material Facebook probably won't take it down. Have you tried just talking to her directly? Just send her a message, "Hi I'm really uncomfortable having my photo on the internet ... (read in full...)
How should I dress for this new job?
Q. So I start my new job in a few days and you think i would be nervous about the job or that and i'm meeting a new group of people who i'll be working with for the next month. But instead i'm more worried about my outfit! I want to make a great ...
A. 12 April 2012: If you're not comfortable in heels don't wear them. Nothing will make you feel less confident than feeling wobbly, or if you are wondering what everyone else is thinking. I wouldn't wear wedges, they are nice casual shoes, but I think they look ... (read in full...)
Am I superficial? If so, how do I become less so?
Q. See I always thought of myself a deeper guy. I think about abstract things, issues, etc. And like everyone else, I alwasy say what I want in a mate is that she is kind, trustworthy, loyal, sweet, etc. etc. etc. I don't put in that I want her to be ...
A. 12 April 2012: Everyone is at least somewhat superficial. There's nothing wrong with needing to be physically attracted to your partner to date her.... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: "Why do some sites ask if you have a model release form? Seems to me that it sounds that they want to avoid legal action. Therefore, it seems logical that I'd have some legal ground against her."
It's a completely different scenario to profit o... (read in full...)
She has thin hair and I'm worried that she might go bald!
Q. So I've been dating this lovely girl for 2 months now. she's so wonderful and i absolutely adore her. But there's one small,superficial issue that i hate myself for caring so much about. The girl's got some thin hair and i can see some of her ...
A. 12 April 2012: What you're describing sounds more like she has baby fine hair. It's normal to see her scalp in some places in people with very fine hair. I wouldn't bring it up just yet. If you're together for a long time, she can start using volumizing products ... (read in full...)
Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?
Q. Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...
A. 12 April 2012: "I also feel like somehow women are losing valuable skills they once had in favor of... I am not sure what."
I think it's called the exact same things men learn in favor of housekeeping, like the important things that society actually values.
"It... (read in full...)
My pregnant girlfriend is worried about gaining weight and isn't eating right!
Q. My girlfriend is currently pregnant. This will be her second child, this is my first baby. She suffers from bouts of depression here and there, and I talk to her and try to lift her spirits as best I can. My concern is her eating, or, at times, l...
A. 12 April 2012: If she's prone to depression, pregnancy hormones can really trigger that. Those hormones can really mess with her emotions. If you can afford it, a psychologist is definitely a good idea.
Things you can do to help include reassuring her. Say some... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 12 April 2012: The number is around 25-30% do not according to most reputable polls and studies on this. The men who say all men do it are just trying to normalize their own behavior and remove personal responsibility. Because if ALL other men do it, they are ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm turned on by my girlfriend's sex toys?
Q. Hi everyone, I’m just wanting to get a bit of perspective on something, it's not an issue per say, I just wanna make sure I’m not weird in my behaviour. Ok so basically my girlfriend and me have just started living together and she has brought ...
A. 12 April 2012: No, it's not weird at all. If it makes you both happy, there's no problem.... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: I dabble in photography for extra money so I do know a bit about the legality of this, at least in the US. If it is her picture, she can legally do whatever she likes with it. Unless you took the photo, you have no legal rights over it even if you ... (read in full...)
Can the depo shot stop my cycle the first month?
Q. My question is in regaurds to the depo shot. I recieved the shot march 16th shortly after my cycle. I was told to wait only a week before having sex by my doctor and the nurse practictioner that gave me the shot. I was also told it can eventually ...
A. 12 April 2012: Of course it can. You'd hope it would impact your cycle the first month! If it can stop your ovulation, it can also stop menstruation.... (read in full...)
How can you tell when a shy person is interested?
Q. What are signs that someone who is shy may be interested And what are signs that someone who is shy may not be interested. I usually always go for the shy/quiet type So I have the habit of over analyzing stuff because the guys that I go...
A. 12 April 2012: Sometimes you've just got to go for it and make a move. You can always do something non-committal (something that can be taken either way) like ask him to study together or go for coffee. It could be read as just wanting to be friends, but it could ... (read in full...)
Virgin, left husband, now dating but not sure how men will react to my virginity
Q. This is a unique situation I am in. Married for 10 years. Never consummated my marriage with my husband. I am still a virgin. We are now separated and heading for divorce. This was not the primary reason for us splitting. There were other issues ...
A. 12 April 2012: I would say if you are divorcing mostly over this, you might consider trying to stop the divorce from happening, though if there are other things you should do what you need to. If it is just the sex though, it will be easier to get through this ... (read in full...)
I think we have lost our physical connection, should I break up with her?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now and I don't like the way things are going. We haven't had sex in the last 30 days, and before that it was once every two weeks. Also every time I hug her I feel like she doesn't really mean it, ...
A. 11 April 2012: "Is it selfish of me to have a craving for intimacy?"
No of course not. Intimacy/a physical connection is a huge part of a relationship. If you feel like it's gone away completely and she isn't working on it, it may be time to move on.... (read in full...)
I love wearing briefs, am I the only one who does this?
Q. Hey all. Am nearly 15 and am gay. I love wearing briefs. But if anyone found out i wear them they would take the mick. So i wear boxers over them. What i want to know is am i the only one who does this or used to do this. Cheers. Xx =)...
A. 11 April 2012: Obviously you're not the only one or they wouldn't sell them! If you're embarrassed by the way they look you can try boxer briefs, they look a bit like bike shorts.... (read in full...)
Do girls shave their pubes when they have sex?
Q. I'm a virgin still at the age of 19, I've had plenty of flings but I'm waiting for that right guy to lose it to, and I reckon it will be soon. One thing - do girls shave their pubes when they have sex? I know this sounds ridiculous but i...
A. 11 April 2012: I just trim them neatly. I used to shave it all off, but realized the stubble was very irritating for both me and the guy.... (read in full...)
Virgin, left husband, now dating but not sure how men will react to my virginity
Q. This is a unique situation I am in. Married for 10 years. Never consummated my marriage with my husband. I am still a virgin. We are now separated and heading for divorce. This was not the primary reason for us splitting. There were other issues ...
A. 11 April 2012: "My muscles contracted involuntarily."
There is a disorder that causes this too, you should go see a doctor to make sure that isn't the problem, rather than that your husband wasn't forceful enough. It shouldn't take force or power to have sex... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is horribly selfish in bed!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and I dread having sex! Previously sex consisted of him pushing my head between his legs. He would lie there groaning while I gave him oral. He would rub his hand up and down my back, eventually when my ...
A. 11 April 2012: You need to directly tell him what's wrong and how to fix it. If he still won't listen, he is just a selfish jerk who thinks you are, as Tisha said, a sex toy and isn't worth of your time.
Sex isn't about you pleasuring him, it's about you both... (read in full...)
Married lover has developed fantasies of us getting caught in the act
Q. My married lover lately has mentioned these fantasies where we are caught in the act by her (female) roommate, that roommate's boyfriend, or even her husband. Sometimes we act them out and she gets very, very turned on. She will cum for me (hard...
A. 11 April 2012: Sounds like she feels guilty for cheating on her husband, which she should.
These kinds of fantasies are better as fantasy. It just isn't that exciting to actually get caught, the thrill for most is in thinking they might get caught. For instance... (read in full...)
I really want a tattoo of my deceased ex boyfriend's name but my friends think its a bad idea
Q. Okay, basically my ex boyfriend died in december, we had been broken up a couple months before he died but he was my first true love and never got over it and when he died it just tore me up even more. I feel like I've lost apart of me. I really ...
A. 11 April 2012: This is a terrible idea. It's horrible he died and I'm really sorry you're struggling with it, but you have to let yourself move on. If you have a constant reminder of him for the rest of your life, you will never even have a chance. I promise you ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with triplets and found out through text messages that my fiance is planning on leaving me to be with my cousin. Do I confront him?
Q. well where do I start... Hmmm I know well let's start off by saying Im 20 years old and 5 months pregnant with triplets. Thats right 3 kids all at once. Don't get me wrong I am excited for my little ones to get here but.... I'm going through ...
A. 11 April 2012: I'm glad you can get the help you need. Please take care of yourself.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is obsessed with my ex and is now asking me to compare her to my ex in every way, physically, mentally, sexually. Is this weird?
Q. girlfriend obsessed with exes, attacks me verbally. ive been with this girl for almost 11 monthes. some days she begins to think about my ex, she goes on her twitter page, facebook etc. . .then she brings her up at least 4 times a week telling m...
A. 11 April 2012: Sounds like retrograde jealousy. Where she is jealous that you have ever had feelings for people other than her, and basically "punishes" you for it. We have many posts on this site about this, you can find them through the search in the upper right ... (read in full...)
This girl I work with is cheating on her fiance! Should I tell him or stay out of it?
Q. Should I say something? Or say out of it? There is a girl Ive worked with at work that I got to know very well. Ive even met her fiance about four or five times when he stops over at are work to pick her up which they will be getting married ...
A. 11 April 2012: No way. This cannot end well for anyone involved, especially you. Just stay out of it. They're not even trying to hide it, he will find out soon.... (read in full...)
Virgin, left husband, now dating but not sure how men will react to my virginity
Q. This is a unique situation I am in. Married for 10 years. Never consummated my marriage with my husband. I am still a virgin. We are now separated and heading for divorce. This was not the primary reason for us splitting. There were other issues ...
A. 11 April 2012: With all the questions we get about retrograde jealousy over past lovers, I think many men would be absolutely thrilled with a woman with no sexual history. And no there's no way they can tell, but I don't see why you wouldn't tell them. Just be ... (read in full...)
Who is right, me or my wife? And what advice do we give our friends?
Q. I searched the internet for advice sites, and I ended up here. We (my wife and I) have a question. We have some friends who are a little younger than us (mid 20's). They are engaged to be married. The Guy has an apartment, and the Girl moved back ...
A. 11 April 2012: I think making anyone throw out sentimental things is a bad idea in any relationship. You can't erase the past, and just because someone keeps photos or letters doesn't mean they are wishing for that relationship. The memories will always still be ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to tell a white lie to avoid fighting?
Q. I hate DRAMA!!! I would always fight with my ex because we always wanted to be right!!! so eventually I smartened up and realized it really doesnt matter and gave in to an argument to not fight. Im currently dating a girl and doing the same thing. I ...
A. 11 April 2012: Those are "white lies" those are outright lies. A white lie is when someone asks you if they've gained weight and you say no when they have. An out and out lie is telling your girlfriend you're working out when you're going and getting high. It's ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with triplets and found out through text messages that my fiance is planning on leaving me to be with my cousin. Do I confront him?
Q. well where do I start... Hmmm I know well let's start off by saying Im 20 years old and 5 months pregnant with triplets. Thats right 3 kids all at once. Don't get me wrong I am excited for my little ones to get here but.... I'm going through ...
A. 10 April 2012: Throw him out. Where is his humanity? What kind of monster would leave his pregnant wife for her own cousin? Sick. ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 10 April 2012: "wimps who are too scared or unlikely"
No. Working through and facing your issues, that takes courage. It's the men who run away and give up because they can't accept that their girlfriend has her own life who are cowards.
Everyone feel... (read in full...)
People think I am dating my bi-sexual best friend but its not true, yes we are both single but not together! How do we stop this so it doesn't give the impression we are unavailable?
Q. Most people think I'm dating my bisexual best friend. It's not the case. It's true that we're very close and for instance, when we go out we hold hands or hug a lot, but that's how are friendship has grown. I don't want to change the way I act ...
A. 10 April 2012: I'd guess it's probably the hand holding that's doing it. If you're out looking for guys, you should go without him and definitely don't hug or show physical affection around guys you're interested in. Same goes when he's out looking for guys.... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with another man, but he doesn't want to watch, he just wants me to tell him about it. What is this called?
Q. Can someone please tell me... " my husband wants me to have sex with another man, he does not want to watch but he wants me to tell him about it" What is this called? ...
A. 10 April 2012: "Its called the end of the marriage."
Yup.
Even if he thinks this is going to be hot, he's almost certainly going to punish you for it. When most couples add other people to their sex lives, it doesn't work the way it does in the fantasy. In ... (read in full...)
I don't know if we're ready for a child! Should I ask my wife to get an abortion?
Q. Hello. I am 25 years old and I'm graduating from college with my bachelor's degree in three weeks. I've been married for two years and my wife is 21 going on 22 in september. Here is my dilemma. My wife has one more semester to go after the end of ...
A. 10 April 2012: I disagree very strongly that it's selfish. You want to give a child the best possible life. If you aren't prepared to do that, you are not being selfish, quite the opposite. You don't say how your wife feels about abortion, but the ability for ... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe in living together before marriage
Q. I have been in a relationship for a year now. Things are pretty great between us and I am considering living together but he seems to disagree. Both of us currently work part time and live at home, whilst saving up for a deposit. However, usually ...
A. 10 April 2012: No one is "correct." It's just differing beliefs. It's old-fashioned for sure, but some people place a lot of emphasis on tradition. You both need to simply sit down and talk about the pros and cons and both state why you want what you want.
If it... (read in full...)
How do I become a jerk to attract girls?
Q. what does it take to get a gf? im honest, nice, smart and above average looking. i am 16 but it seems that guys who are jerks usually attract girls attention. How do i do that?...
A. 10 April 2012: Hmmm I've DUMPED many jerks, rejected many jerks, only dated one. For 5 weeks. Then I dumped him. Because of the obvious, he was a jerk. Women don't like jerks. Women like guys who are nice to them and talk to them. Jerks just seem to get more women ... (read in full...)
I don't know if we're ready for a child! Should I ask my wife to get an abortion?
Q. Hello. I am 25 years old and I'm graduating from college with my bachelor's degree in three weeks. I've been married for two years and my wife is 21 going on 22 in september. Here is my dilemma. My wife has one more semester to go after the end of ...
A. 10 April 2012: This is something you need to discuss with your wife. Ultimately the decision is hers. If you don't feel ready, you should tell her. ... (read in full...)
Can it be harmful to have sex during a period?
Q. So..me and my girlfriend had sex while she was on her period. ( please don't judge) I was wondering if this was bad in any kind of way? Like can it harm our bodies and stuff like that. Thank You...
A. 9 April 2012: Why would we judge? LOTS of couples have period sex. It can be a different and enjoyable sensation. There's nothing harmful about it. Everything related to her period happens up in the uterus and sex never goes near that.... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: I would like to add, I'm certainly not immune to RJ. I bet most people have at least felt pangs of it. My current boyfriend and I were talking and he mentioned he had a MUCH bigger crush on his friend in high school than he did on me and it made me ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 9 April 2012: Listening to this it almost seems to be that RJ men find other men's penises disgusting. It's like some kind of reverse midas touch thing, the second a woman comes into contact with one, she becomes a filthy diseased slut. Your line of thinking... (read in full...)
I puked after giving my boyfriend oral sex
Q. Hi..this is really embarrassing but I need some feedback I gave my boyfriend head last night.. I've done it many times before he was my first so he understands I'm still learning!! I normally choke when I go all the way down on him but this tim...
A. 9 April 2012: Why are you trying to get the whole thing in your mouth?! Unless you enjoy deep throating, it's totally unnecessary to go so deep. You just need to get a little past the head in your mouth, then let your hands deal with the shaft.... (read in full...)
Can't deal with your lover's sexual past? Why not leave her / him if they have different morals to you?
Q. Hi guys AND girls, I've read a lot on DC about retroactive jealousy, or "his / her sexual past", and people having problems with it. Some very smart people here have made some very good suggestions on how to deal with it. The thing is, that i...
A. 7 April 2012: "Please don't reply with those rational arguments" There we go again, being rational, what an awful way to think about things. Since you actively don't want logic, reason, or rational thinking, that means you want us to all reply screaming and fr... (read in full...)
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