A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I love sex, especially with my husband. My husband is rarely in the mood. There is an age differance of 15 years, he is 26 and I'm 41. I would have sex everyday if I could. He likes watching porn on the internet. Which makes me feel awful, because I am right here. We maybe have sex once a week. But have gone a month before without having sex. I feel very depressed and unattractive compared to the young women he watches. I feel un loved and betrayed. What's going on with my husband?
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male
reader, roxanneian  +, writes (22 May 2012):
its not surprising you feel this way.i am lucky with my husband we both enjoy the porn we like together.are you involved with his porn interest or do you choose to stay in the background?im not to sure as you dont say.he shouldnt make you feel uninvolved in your sex life, if his sex life is his computer.do you want to stop him doing this or do you both want to watch porn with him??this is totally normal to do as a couple.try to get involved with him and find out what you both like to see.it will amaze you what turns you on and dont be afraid of this.try new things and enjoy porn together.the girls in the porn movies are not better than you and most are not even pretty in real life.i have watched so much porn with my husband and its not how the girl looks that turns us on its how they treat her.remember this girl is getting paid to look how the film company feels will appeal more to the audience.i bet he would love it if it was you on the film getting so much sexual attention and loving being used for sex.get real and find out what he thinks of your sex life x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012): If you're boyfriend is smart and mature he will realise they are fake, they have special lighting to hide blemishes, spend hours in make-up, hair extensions, false eyelashes. They dedicate their life for people to perve on. He's probably watching the actions, most men wouldn't go near those women, they have sold their soul to the devil. Men like emotions for real life relationships and sex without love is like tea without milk.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Curious Jane Doe, no it's not normal. It's only been around for a couple of decades, you know. Porn only recently became the big business that it is. Do you think men in the days before porn was invented were abnormal, unsatisfied, unhinged? Needs are created. Before a mobile phone was invented, we didn't really need it. Now we sort of can't do without a smart phone. Needs are manufactured by business interests. They are not inherent in us. And all the fancy terms of evolutionary psychology (which in itself is deeply flawed) will not be able to explain that away. OP, I'm sorry to learn your husband is addicted to pornography. It's as harmful as any other addiction, perhaps more. He needs de-addiction and the links provided by person12345 will help. All the best, and don't think it's about you. It's not!!
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A
female
reader, paso_doble +, writes (20 May 2012):
Your husband is addicted to porn; it's got nothing to do with you. You could be 21 and he would still rather watch porn. Do you have mirrors on your ceiling and walls? DO you videotape your lovemaking? Then you should. The rage these days is installing a stripper pole in the bedroom. Don't sweat it dear. It's the porn, not you. Btw, with a guy like this keep a check of your bank account.
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A
female
reader, CuriousJaneDoe +, writes (20 May 2012):
Pornography for men is normal to a degree, since most men are programmed to want to spread their seed with as many women as possible. But if it's alienating you, making you feel bad about yourself and affecting your sex life, you definitely need to speak to him about it.
I would suggest not getting angry when you talk to him about it. Tell him how YOU'RE feeling. Crying is okay; try not to attack him so he won't be on the defensive and he'll be a lot more open to listening to you. Tell him that it's affecting your self-esteem, that you're afraid if he watches too much pornography it will condition him to desire only one type of woman (if it hasn't already), and that a sex-life is important for you to stay in a marriage. Also tell him that you think he might be addicted, and if he would, for you - completely take time off from porn.
Good luck; you are not alone, as you can see by the advice posted (maybe you can print some things out for him) also there are a lot of women with the same issues in the "Pornography" section.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012): Hi,I think its time that you and your husband sat down and had a talk about this. It seems to be bothering you. If you are only having sex once a week but you would like to every day yet hes busy on the computer or watching pornography then theres a slight disconnect in your marriage.You should tell him less of that and more of you!!You also, as a woman, need to know your power over him. He may have the fantasy world of porn to look at, but its you going to bed with him every night, its you that decides and controls when he can have sex with you. He married you, you are obviously desirable to him. I dont think you need to worry about the younger women in porn, I'm young and I would even worry about those women in the porn movies if my man was watching it too,because no normal woman is going to live up to that. So, dont feel bad about it at all. A little talk, maybe with a glass of wine over dinner and gently slip in the subject wont hurt ;)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 May 2012):
 Sounds like he's heading down the road of a porn addiction if he's choosing porn over sex. This website has good information, as well I have many links on my profile about this topic.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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