A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you tell if someone is a bit off thier rocker or just needy/bored/alone? So i posted an ad on craigslist in the platonic section. Just wanted to meet some new friends around my area that can hang out from time to time. Nothing sexual or anything i am in a relationship. So i was txting this girl for a day or two she seemed nice, slightly into herself but convo flowed. Now shes calling me at all hrs of the night. She knows i was insanely busy today so why the late night calls? Perhaps this is what i get for meeting people through craigslist? And what do i do? I dont want to upset her but its kinda much? She also said she was married. Just fyi lol. Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 Craigslist is sketchy in the best of circumstances. I've used it to sell furniture, but that's about the extent of it. It can even be dangerous. If you're getting creepy vibes right now, imagine how bad it will be if you actually got to know her. If you want to meet people it's better to meet them in person.
One of the best places to make friends is to take a beginner class in something, especially something physical where you can bond over shared awkwardness. I've made tons of friends in yoga and dance classes. You just have to be willing to be forward/outgoing and take some initiative. Invite people out for coffee or food.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): Well, your first mistake was posting an ad on Craigslist....that is far from a reputable place to meet upstanding people...it's also very risky and careless...there are a LOT of creepers on there and constant stories about people getting raped, killed, robbed, etc., from ads they placed.
Go get involved with activities you like to do in your area and you will surely meet people who have the same interests as you. Much safer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I'd rather not try and met people through Craigslist.
Take a cooking class or something that you like to do and get out and meet new people. She doesn't sounds exactly crazy but, she seems to have no tact and no social skills.
I would just tell her straight out that after XX pm you don't text/call back because you are busy or what not. If she keeps ignoring the "hint" I would tell her it's a bit much and hopefully she will back off.
If not, tell her she needs to stop or you need to block her number, but that would be the last resort.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 May 2012):
 She is possibly very needy and extra lonely. Her method of connecting is not working.
She said she is married, but perhaps her partner is overseas or absent for some reason.
Though she may work unusual hours.
Notwithstanding all the above she needs to be gently reminded that texting you at all hours just will not work. She cannot impose her lonely situation on you. Because you are not responsible for the fact that she is lonely.
Let her know that you have some deadlines to meet and as a result you'd be happy to hear from her in a couple of days. If she respects that then maybe see how she behaves - gives you a break from texting? or not? If not then you will need to be firmer.
if she gives you a break for a couple of days then maybe have a good texting session and then advise her that you have some things to do for the next 7 hours and so cannot text.
Slowly bring her into line.
If she absolutely ignores your requests and keeps on texting at all hours then you can be a little firmer about how inconvenient it is.
And if the worst comes to the worst then tell her that you cannot endure so many texts so often as it is too intrusive. By that time you will have given her a chance to learn what is acceptble to you, and what is not. She can have no comeback if you have given her fair advance feedback.
By 'Crazy' I don't think you mean zany/quirky and interesting. I think you may be hinting at something more serious than that. That said if you mean unbalanced in some way then I think I would leave that to a Doctor to decide.
Though many perfectly sane people are also people who just have a very low EQ = Emotional Quotient. And they just miss the social cues that others try to hint at and they behave in ways that turn other people off. Often they just don't 'get it' when others try to tell them what is appropriate and inappropriate.
If you are experiencing behaviour that you do not like then you do not have to put up with it. It is OK to try to tactfully bring it to her attention if it really is too odd for you to accomodate such behaviour in your life from a new friend.
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