| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 30 April 2012: First off, quoting psychology today is like quoting Cosmo. It's a pop psych magazine, it's not actual research. That article quotes the same small handful of correlation studies that all pop psych magazines quote over and over that don't actually ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 24 April 2012: No one is saying porn causes otherwise non-violent men to rape, but there is no question among ANY researchers that porn use, especially violent porn use increases aggression (not the same as actually going and raping someone) and increases ... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 18 April 2012: No I don't think so. If any did come out the bottom it's still unlikely to get in you since the base of the condom usually doesn't go inside your vagina and if a lot came out, you'd smell it. A little movement down the condom happens sometimes and ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 18 April 2012: If someone gets shot in an action move they didn't really get shot. If someone is exposed to HIV or double penetrated or forced to gag/vomit in porn, that did really happen. Not only are they not the same, they are opposites.... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: You should try masturbating together, like side by side. Then you can still be involved in each other's sex lives but it's faster and less stress on your back. Lots of couples do this, especially after having kids.... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 17 April 2012: Well I wasn't really looking so it was really more smelled it when I went to clean up... It's best just to avoid letting it get to the base of the condom by having him stop thrusting and you should stop moving around as well, as soon as he's done ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 17 April 2012: It's been shown many times (in studies performed since the 1970s) that porn does not "cause" violence among about 3/4 of people, but among risk groups it is a very significant contributing factor in their likelihood to actually commit sexually ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: "We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity"
"Relationships are supposed to be give and take"
Yes relationships are supposed to be about give and take. That means you "take" the responsibility for the kids an equal amount and she migh... (read in full...)
My husband is getting more and more controlling of my appearance
Q. First, it was the clothing: dresses, skirts, tights, blouses. I'm not allowed jeans, trainers, flipflops, T-shirts, track suits. I'm barely allowed tasteful trousers. Then, it was telling me how much jewellery I can wear. Then, it was th...
A. 17 April 2012: Tell your husband to take a flying leap! He does not own you! You can wear your hair and your clothes however you want and if he doesn't like it, tough for him. He's entitled to his opinion, he is not entitled to boss you around or force you to do ... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 17 April 2012: A small amount of movement is normal, like below the head of his penis, but if it's all the way at the base that's not normal. Unless it was actually pushed out the bottom it can't get you pregnant from there, but if it's near the bottom there's ... (read in full...)
He and I want to make things work, but I'm struggling with his past!
Q. So here is my story. I have been dating a co-worker for the past 14 months. He is 10 years older to me and single. 6 months into our relationship, I found out that he cheated on me with two other women physically. After I confronted him, ...
A. 17 April 2012: It's very nice he's decided to be a better person, but he decided this too late. He decided this after he'd already wrecked his relationship with you and destroyed the trust. Maybe he really has changed, but he can't undo that he cheated on you and ... (read in full...)
Does having the urges but not acting on them still make me addicted to sex?
Q. So this question is mostly for the ladies but men please comment too. Im a 20 year old young woman and Im wondering if i have a problem. I have this insane attraction to hispanic men. If I wouldnt be considered a whore then I would just "have" them ...
A. 17 April 2012: That's like asking if you're an alcoholic because you look at alcohol a lot. No you're not a sex addict, you just like Hispanic men.... (read in full...)
Do feelings get stronger the more you sleep with someone?
Q. So i've heard many times how women have to have emotion usually before they sleep with someone an men there emotions come after the sex. Is that true? The more you sleep with someone, feelings do end up getting stronger...
A. 17 April 2012: No one is totally immune to having feelings. I think it's more whether the person wants to have a relationship on top of sex than having romantic feelings for the person. In fact one cause of violence against prostituted women is men assuming they ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 16 April 2012: Well that depends. Older guys probably consciously mostly think it's fake. The more worrying thing is people who don't realize it's real. What I mean by that is the idea that it's fantasy when it's not. The comments about thinking the women are hot ... (read in full...)
When does anal stimulation/sex feel better?
Q. I have a question for the ladies, do you feel more comfortable with anal stimulation and anal sex after you have an orgasm? Or is it better before, in state of higher arousal?...
A. 16 April 2012: You'd have to ask her if it hurts, everyone is different. Also there's a big difference between external or a finger and full on anal sex. You could also have her try it on you if you're curious about when it feels best! In fact I know far more ... (read in full...)
What is the average time for a couple to move in together?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now, i asked him if he wants kids with me and he said yes, but I'm wondering what is the average time it takes a couple to move into together? He is making efforts for me he met my mom and sister and for ...
A. 16 April 2012: There is no standard in length of time. There's just a point when you're ready. If either of you is hesitant or you're just moving in because you feel like it's the next step, you should wait. There's no rush. If you are planning on moving in that ... (read in full...)
My friend stares at my wife, and she tends to touch him and dress sexily when he is around, yet I know she dislikes him as a person! What should I make of all this?
Q. Hello people ! My problem is a bit complex. me and my wife are happily married for 10yrs and love each other a lot.I also have a good friend whom we both have known since childhood. Often he comes to our home with his wife and kid for dinner. But ...
A. 16 April 2012: Unfortunately it does sound like she likes him, but that doesn't mean something is going on or will go on. You might want to point it out to her the way she's behaving. She may not even realize she's doing it. Though I'm not totally sure the best ... (read in full...)
25 year old friend of mine having sex with a 16 year old, is this wrong?
Q. Short question for you all. A male friend of mine is 25.He is dating a 16-year old girl,and they are having sex. I can't help but think it's wrong.Am I totally out of line??...
A. 16 April 2012: It's legal so long as he isn't in a position of authority over her in any way. Sounds pretty creepy, but there isn't exactly anything you can do about it. I wouldn't say anything unless he asks, he won't listen and you'll just drive him away as a ... (read in full...)
Is bleeding from having sex for the first AND second time normal?
Q. Hey! So me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time 7 days ago. It hurt really bad and afterwords i went to the bathroom and was bleeding a lot. It soon stopped and we did it again the same day and it felt better. I stopped bleeding and could ...
A. 16 April 2012: It sounds like the problem is twofold. One, why is your boyfriend treating you roughly if he knows it's your first time? What kind of horrible jerk does that?
Second, your vagina doesn't change after you have sex for the first time other than the... (read in full...)
Too much precum ruins the mood for her
Q. Before we have sex with my girlfriend, during foreplay I tend to release significant amount of precum. Sometimes it drops on her or touches her and she thinks that it is disgusting and gets her out of the mood a little. I don't want to wear the ...
A. 16 April 2012: She may want to see a therapist. Sounds less like she has a problem with precum and more like she has some serious guilt around having sex (signs may include excessive need for cleanliness during/after and an aversion to any sign of bodily fluids).... (read in full...)
How do you flirt with a text junkie?
Q. she texts to flirt. i have never had a cell phone, but i flirt w/ her via fb (fb to text). i don't know the etiquette. seems like she'll respond every 30 minutes to and hour, unless i just initiate the convo, then it takes a while to get going. ...
A. 15 April 2012: It sounds like she might just not be interested in you, though it's impossible to tell over text. You need to talk to her in person or call her if you want anything to happen.... (read in full...)
Why do these woman believe that a man is seriously in love with them so soon after meeting them?
Q. What does it say for a man who professes his undying love for a woman he has just started dating. In my opinion, there is something wrong with this person if he continues to move on from one woman to another claiming he ia in love with them and ...
A. 15 April 2012: It's probably happened to most people at some point. I think everyone just suffers from an everyone but me syndrome. We always thinks we're so different from everyone around us, but really we're just not. I think there's some ego boosting involved, ... (read in full...)
Too much precum ruins the mood for her
Q. Before we have sex with my girlfriend, during foreplay I tend to release significant amount of precum. Sometimes it drops on her or touches her and she thinks that it is disgusting and gets her out of the mood a little. I don't want to wear the ...
A. 15 April 2012: Of course you can ask for oral sex. Just don't do that thing where you shove on her head. I've had guys do that to me in the past and it makes me want to bite them. Given how much she hates precum, she might be more willing to give oral sex if it ... (read in full...)
When does anal stimulation/sex feel better?
Q. I have a question for the ladies, do you feel more comfortable with anal stimulation and anal sex after you have an orgasm? Or is it better before, in state of higher arousal?...
A. 15 April 2012: The anus doesn't expand like a vagina does with arousal, though I'd imagine it would be easier to relax after a lot of foreplay. Most women don't like anal sex no matter what the circumstances are. Why do you ask?... (read in full...)
Is it still cheating if I was with a girl not a guy?
Q. hey guys..so last nite i had friends over..two girls and a guy..we had some vodka and ended up drunk..this girl and guy left about 2am..and i was left with the other girl..we went inside the house and had sex..it was my first wit a girl.she is ...
A. 15 April 2012: Yes of course it's cheating. I agree, you two should definitely break up.... (read in full...)
Why do guys go to strip clubs when they have a hot chick at home?
Q. My boyfriend went to a stag party and ended the night at a strip club. He said he didn't get a lap dance but bought the stag one. Now a week later, I have been trying to put it aside but its just at the back of my head whenever I look at him or w...
A. 15 April 2012: He went because all the other guys went, not just on his own. I am the last person to defend going to strip clubs, but I agree the unless you've discussed this before he went, you should cut him some slack. He's agreed not to go again and he ... (read in full...)
Sex has become a chore for me
Q. I love my boyfriend very much, we have a wonderful life together and typically a wonderful sex life to boot. But lately sex has been more of a chore for me and i dont enjoy it nor do i orgasm. We have sex usually once a day give or take somedays as ...
A. 15 April 2012: "Ive been considering asking him for a vibrator, so after hes done, i can do my own thing... But that may really hurt him."
What if you pick it out together and he uses it on you? A vibrator can be a great addition. It's a good way to "even th... (read in full...)
Why does a girl become so cruel to a guy who loves her?
Q. Why does a girl become so cruel to a guy who loves her? There's this girl at work that I have a crush on. She and I were very close, just as friends. But recently she found out that I had feelings for her the whole time, and now she is behaving ...
A. 15 April 2012: It's not that you did something wrong, but she probably doesn't want to lead you on. And really, the only way you'll ever get over her is if you create distance. She probably knows this and wants to create that distance. I know it's hard, but in the ... (read in full...)
Why do we spend so many of our resources on beauty?
Q. Why do we women spend so muvh time, energy, and money chasing impossible, an constantly changing standards of beauty? This is separate from health, mind. ...
A. 15 April 2012: Because we live in a world that tells women the single most important thing is to be attractive, above all other traits, and we are told that is the only way to be attractive. We all know the photos are photoshopped and not even the models look like ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to keep lots of pics of your ex?
Q. Is it normal to keep pics of your exes? i mean lots of pics, naked, underwear shots, normal pics. Im not sure he is over these ex girlfriends!...
A. 15 April 2012: He shouldn't have naked or underwear shots around. It's one thing to keep them somewhere they are never looked at (but there in case he's ever single again) but it's totally inappropriate to pull them out while dating someone else. I don't think it ... (read in full...)
Is my lady disappointed because my penis doesn't look like porn stars?
Q. Im 30 years old and my penis is roughly 7-3/4" long measuring accross the top, i can measure over 8" if you measure from the side butand i think thats cheating and 5.25-5.50" in girth, it also has not a bend but just a slight downward curve, I can ...
A. 15 April 2012: Most women find a penis that large to be painful. I actually broke up with a guy over it, it was that uncomfortable to have sex and I decided I couldn't have a good sex life with him. You already are big enough that you're capable of hurting her, ... (read in full...)
Will a vibrator help me regulate my sexual desires till I meet someone and be in a real relationship?
Q. hi all , im thinking about buying a vibrator , i'm 17 and a virgin and i'm not in a relationship and i feel a bit lonely , i want to buy it but i'm afraid it will make me crave sex even more. so i guess my question is will a vibrator help me ...
A. 15 April 2012: How on Earth could masturbating make you MORE horny? Masturbation isn't a replacement for another person, but it is definitely better than nothing in the meantime. You should go for it. You can find some really helpful reviews on Amazon and ... (read in full...)
How do you initiate morning sex?
Q. How do you initiate morning sex? I always notice my fiance has morning glory like any healthy man but I have never had morning sex with him as I have to wake up about 2 hours before him for work. He comes home for a week or so in a few days and I ...
A. 15 April 2012: Don't say anything, just wake up by kissing him and climbing on top of him. Though don't actually have sex with him until he wakes up and can consent, as having sex with sleeping people is legally sexual assault.
It helps if you masturba... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to see a dentist?
Q. Hi, My wife has really stained teeth. I'd like her to get them looked at but don't know how to broach the subject. She could also do with flossing more but doesn't. How do I get her to a dentist?...
A. 15 April 2012: "Did you know that not flossing and allowing plaque to build up on teeth and gums can eventually find its way dowm into one's body and begin to clog arteries?"
Actually that's not quite how it works. Gum disease hurts your heart because it cause... (read in full...)
Guys, are women with big boobs more 'valuable' than the rest of us?
Q. I was talking to my BF and he said that he was more inclined to treat a woman with big boobs with more care, respect and spoil her than a woman with smaller boobs. Of course I have a small B cup, and I asked him why he was with me. He said that I ...
A. 14 April 2012: Your boyfriend is a total jerk. Like Cerberus said, he feels like since you don't have large breasts, he is allowed to treat you like dirt and insult you. I think he must assume that because he prefers large breasts, that must mean all men prefer ... (read in full...)
Too much precum ruins the mood for her
Q. Before we have sex with my girlfriend, during foreplay I tend to release significant amount of precum. Sometimes it drops on her or touches her and she thinks that it is disgusting and gets her out of the mood a little. I don't want to wear the ...
A. 14 April 2012: Precum is a normal bodily fluid and sometimes, like her own, it gets on her. Does she also find it disgusting when her own fluids get on things? Do you? It's a little hard for me to imagine this being a turn off since it's a sign of a guy enjoying ... (read in full...)
I feel like a freak because I don't want children!
Q. Is it weird that I don't want children? Sometimes I feel like a freak. All the women in my family are VERY fertile, they all have kids and most started at young ages. Even all the men in my family have or want children. So when I tell my mother and ...
A. 13 April 2012: I don't want children, at least not until my early 30's. I'm good with kids, but I only like them in small doses. My parents look at me like I'm an alien when I say I'm not sure I want them too.
To be fair, I'm sure if you had kids of your own... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to do anything crazy sexually!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over a year. He sucks major balls at going down on me and it doesnt hurt yeah it feels good but it doesnt bring me to the level i know i should be at. Ive tried telling him and he just says im not ...
A. 13 April 2012: If he hates the more wild things, you have to respect that. Some people aren't into wild sex and that's OK. He's not required to do them simply because he's a man.
If you aren't happy with the oral sex, you need to tell him what to do. Don't te... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to let me pay for his vacation?
Q. I have a boyfriend who I want to go on vacation with. My brother and his girlfriend have been asked to come with us, and it's all looking good so far. We're planning on catching a last-minute flight to save on money, as last minute flights are real...
A. 13 April 2012: I'm going to have to disagree with the below. I think so long as do not expect him to pay you back, it's silly to avoid a vacation because of gender roles. You can just offer to pay and he has the choice to turn it down. Yes it's wise of him to turn ... (read in full...)
What are some good ways of losing weight, especially in the breast area?
Q. i am 16 years old,i am somewhat fatty,but my huge boobs give me the look more fattier.which exercises i should do at home to reduce my weight n also the size of my boobs? ...
A. 13 April 2012: Unfortunately you can't selectively lose weight, you can only lose it everywhere or not. You can lose weight by doing cardio exercise at least 4 times a week for 30 minutes and by reducing your calorie intake. A lot of people gain HUGE amounts of ... (read in full...)
How does one know when one is in love?
Q. How do you know when you're in love? I've been in a relationship with a great guy for awhile, and I've been tempted to say "I love you" several times, but I don't out of fear that he won't reciprocate. But then I wonder, am I in love if I can't ...
A. 13 April 2012: I'd say it's love when you no longer feel totally infatuated, but still can't live without the other person and even just thinking about them makes you feel warm and giddy. People have spent their entire careers trying to describe how love feels, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend liked a picture of another girl on facebook, then lied to me about it after I confronted him!
Q. Today I was on facebook when it came up on my newsfeed that my boyfriend "liked" a photo of some girl who went to his school. I clicked on it more than once so it was definitely him and I definitely wasnt seeing things. I texted him telling him that...
A. 13 April 2012: I think you are a wee bit overreacting. He pressed like on a photo. That seems like totally normal behavior to me. Unless she was posing seductively in her underwear/bathing suit, I don't see the problem. My bf and his female friends comment on and ... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 13 April 2012: "Plenty of women don't like it, but plenty of women are OK with it. Plenty of men watch it, but plenty of men don't."
60% of women don't want it in their relationship, 25-30% of men don't watch. That's a pretty big disparity there, so clearly just... (read in full...)
One too many gay children in the family?
Q. Hi, I'm a gay girl, who is absolutely petrified to come out to her family or friends. My brother is gay and my family are totally fine with it but i can't build up the courage to tell them as i'm scared they wont accept having two gay children...
A. 13 April 2012: There is no way that if your parents accepted your brother being gay that they won't accept you being gay. I know a family where the son and daughter are both gay and their parents love them and accept them both. I bet they already know and are just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend smacks other girls butts and lies about it!
Q. Okay my boyfriend is really sweet but he keeps smacking other girls butts and he lies everytime i bring it up what should i do? I have been going out with him for 5 months and i don't want to lose him. Please answer this...
A. 13 April 2012: This guy has no regard for you and behaves like an animal. You want to be with a guy who treats women like meat? If any of those girls decides to speak up he could be in serious trouble for sexual harassment (assault if it's considered groping).
... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 13 April 2012: "it is harmless"
According to whom? Not according to every psychology conference on it, not according the vast majority of studies, not even according to porn producers (who relish the fact that it is addictive).
Given that 88.6% of porn contain... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 13 April 2012: You're acting a bit like this woman murdered your dog. Is there some reason you can't simply say you are uncomfortable with it? Why are you wanting to go through every possible third party and even wanting to call the police over a photo of you in a ... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to see a dentist?
Q. Hi, My wife has really stained teeth. I'd like her to get them looked at but don't know how to broach the subject. She could also do with flossing more but doesn't. How do I get her to a dentist?...
A. 13 April 2012: Well the problem with stains are that if they are severe or anything but yellow surface stains, she can't simply get them whitened, she will need to have the surface filed off and veneers put on, and that would be extremely expensive (around $10k ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: She won't be notified for reporting it and unless there's pornographic material Facebook probably won't take it down. Have you tried just talking to her directly? Just send her a message, "Hi I'm really uncomfortable having my photo on the internet ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: "Why do some sites ask if you have a model release form? Seems to me that it sounds that they want to avoid legal action. Therefore, it seems logical that I'd have some legal ground against her."
It's a completely different scenario to profit o... (read in full...)
Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?
Q. Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...
A. 12 April 2012: The number is around 25-30% do not according to most reputable polls and studies on this. The men who say all men do it are just trying to normalize their own behavior and remove personal responsibility. Because if ALL other men do it, they are ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: I dabble in photography for extra money so I do know a bit about the legality of this, at least in the US. If it is her picture, she can legally do whatever she likes with it. Unless you took the photo, you have no legal rights over it even if you ... (read in full...)
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