A
female
age
30-35,
*nlyzoe
writes:I'm pretty sure there is no other position like mine anywhere else in the world. It's so confusing.Me and this guy have been on and off for a while. We were friends with benefits at first but I began to fall in love with him and he did too. We dated for a while and then broke up and the started talking again. All the while, people were telling me all this stuff about him. How he talks sh*t about me, he's made out and had sex with these girls. All he wants from me is one thing, blah blah. It may not sound reasonable but he was a player and a major flirt when I first met him. Now it seems almost like I'm on his mind all the time, you can tell he's "in love" but is it really just lust and is he trying to get into my pants? My friends and family tell me he's bad news but he makes me happy. What do I do?
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broke up, flirt, friend with benefits, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (24 May 2012):
You are being played big time my dear. You and millions of other girls fall for guys like this everywhere. You are too blinded by your teen rage of rebelling to see the obvious truth. I am sure there are other guys out there who genuinely want to be with you and will make you even happier.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 On and off relationships rarely work. FWB rarely work. Players rarely change. When your friends and family all hate someone, they're often right. Now there are exceptions to each of those. But to all of them at once is pretty unlikely. Even if he was falling for you, it's unlikely he would be able to fully change that quickly.
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A
male
reader, edwards +, writes (23 May 2012):
Coming from a guy who had a FWB before dont take this the wrong way but chances are thats all he wants. We were frends that decided to be FWB and after a while I could tell she was falling for me so being a guy I told her everything she wanted to hear so I could keep her in bed. I told her I loved her, would call her out of know where but it all was so at the end of the day I knew I could call her up and she would come over so we could have sex. Guys are programed to think with the head between their legs and most guy will say and do anything a girl wants so they can get a girl in bed.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 May 2012):
 You are not alone honey... look at all the FWB posts here..
on and off is never a good sign....
FWB RARELY works out to be true love and usually the woman feels more than the man and she puts on Rose colored glasses so she can see ONLY what she wants to see...
What makes you think he's really in love with you?
What does he DO to make you feel loved and adored?
do not tell me what he says.... those are just words.
tell me what he does... and not what you THINK...
I've been in a zillion relationships with bad guys and no one ever told me they were bad news because they weren't all that bad... IF someone says to you he's bad news and he's just using you... then you may want to really listen since friends usually stay out of it....
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 You should listen to your friends and your family. If they're all saying the same thing, they're seeing something you're not.
My advice is to stop putting out for him, and see how he reacts. If he stops coming around, you have your answer. If a guy truly cares about you, and wants to be with you, then he will be.
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