| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 30 April 2012: First off, quoting psychology today is like quoting Cosmo. It's a pop psych magazine, it's not actual research. That article quotes the same small handful of correlation studies that all pop psych magazines quote over and over that don't actually ... (read in full...)
Why is it that people seem to practice safe penetrative sex on porn sites, but not safe oral sex?
Q. Me and my pals were in the pub the other day and the subject of safe sex came up(we r all married and well into our forties and apparently std's are on the rise for age group). Why is it that on many porn sites,swinging sites people seem to practice ...
A. 28 April 2012: Most porn (more than 90%) doesn't use condoms for penetration, even for multiple penetrations or anal sex. I'm not sure where you get the idea most does. Maybe on swinging sites, but most does not. Watching porn has been found to be a risk factor in ... (read in full...)
Is this normal for a menstrual cycle?
Q. Hi this is a question for the women I am 25 I started my periods when I was 13 they have always been irregular but I was just wondering if this was normal the past two months I have had my period that lasted three or four days and then four days ...
A. 28 April 2012: Some women have periods that are always irregular. If they seem totally haywire, you should make an appointment with a gynecologist to check that everything is alright hormone-wise.... (read in full...)
Girls would you be OK with this? Guys how do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party?
Q. I am just asking this question out of curiousity. It is for both men and women. How do you feel about men having strippers at a bachelor's party? Maybe it is because I have low self-esteem but if my fiance was enjoying that kind of show, I woul...
A. 28 April 2012: First off, aren't you a little young to be worried about this?
Second, nope, definitely not. I don't care if it's his bachelor party or someone else's, my boyfriend and I have a no strippers or strip clubs agreement. The whole thing is very deg... (read in full...)
Air conditioning sickness?
Q. Hi everyone, I just want to know whether anyone else has this problem. Over the past 10 years, I've worked in a variety of places, but I notice a pattern when I'm working in air conditioned buildings - I always seem so pick up wierd stomach bu...
A. 28 April 2012: I doubt it has to do with the air conditioning, stomach bugs aren't airborne. You should bring a sweater to work to keep warmer and wash your hands more. Being cold only increases your odds of catching airborne illnesses, but it couldn't hurt. Hand ... (read in full...)
I have an extreme porn addiction!
Q. I have an extreme porn and mastubation addiction. My family found out about it a few years ago and I told them that i would stop and I did but later I continued behind their back. This is so painfull and I want to stop but its an addiction like ...
A. 26 April 2012: Try this website:
Http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
How important is sexual compatibility in relationships?
Q. How can someone gauge sexual compatibility with someone else? Is communication and experimentation in the bedroom the best way to introduce particular likes and dislikes of each partner? A particular question for female answerers: if a guy told yo...
A. 25 April 2012: I see what you mean, but I think it could REALLY easily be taken the wrong way. As a woman I would assume you were a player, only wanted a sex partner, or had unreasonably high standards for a good sex life.
Think of it like this, what good wil... (read in full...)
I think she likes me and I want to have sex with her, how do I ask her?
Q. Hi I have a problem. There is this girl I know and I have wanted to have sex with her for years but i have always been too afraid to ask. I have heard rumors that she likes me and that she has spoken to friends about having sex with me. I am a ...
A. 25 April 2012: Normally when two people like each other, they date, not use the other for sex.... (read in full...)
Good jobs in business that don't involve sitting at a desk all day?
Q. I'm a 3rd year business major but I hate sitting at a desk/cubicle. What is a good career path for a business management major with a creative mind? I absolutely love writing, traveling, entertainment, event planning, designing, learning languages, ...
A. 25 April 2012: Your undergrad major doesn't mean anything unless you want to get into med school or science. Just pick a job in a creative field or pick a graduate program that is more in tune with your wants and go. So long as that isn't med school or physical ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are not in love anymore but trying to work it out for our child, should I stay or follow my heart and be with the other man I love?
Q. I have been married for about 6 years and am not in love with my husband anymore but am trying to work things out for our 2 year old daughter. I am in love with another man and have tried to stop communication with him but can not. The feelings take ...
A. 25 April 2012: You should move on. It's not better for your child to grow up in a loveless marriage than to go through a divorce, especially if you NEVER EVER fight in front of her after the divorce. Stay civil/friendly. Divorces are mostly traumatic when the ... (read in full...)
I want to please him but I find anal really painful!
Q. My bf that I've been with for years wants to try something new .. Hmm .. Hes been asking me to let him put it in my butt .. But I don't like it ! It's painfully and I want to please him , but at the same time I feel like he should be more ...
A. 25 April 2012: Don't do it. It hurts, why should you suffer so he can have his porn-fantasy? You have a hole that's made for this, it's called a vagina and that one shouldn't hurt at all. Most women hate anal sex, only about 25-30% will even tolerate it, far fewer ... (read in full...)
He's a decent guy but not as good looking as I remember, should I give him a chance?
Q. So I met this guy on a night out, he's tall, perfect age, really good kisser and we get along smoothly it's nice. What I like was the fact he wasn't full on and didn't ask me back to his, or initiate something of the sort (very rare over here for ...
A. 25 April 2012: It depends. If you are not attracted to him, you shouldn't lead him on. There's a difference between attraction and good looking though. Like if there's chemistry there, it's worth pursuing. You know, fireworks when he touches you, etc... I think ... (read in full...)
What difference does it make if two people are married or just live together?
Q. Hey! I'm getting married in few months... I'm uber excited of course, but I wonder what difference does it make if two people are married or just live together? We're not religious or anything, but when my bf proposed I of course said yes... it w...
A. 25 April 2012: No I don't think that paper is necessary in a romantic sense. To me marriage is just so the government can recognize you are together and give you the financial benefits of a shared household and legal grounds in medical issues.
"Does marriage... (read in full...)
I'm so horny but I plan on keeping my virginity until marriage with my LDR!
Q. I m a virgin and i decided to stay virgin ntil marriage and my bf respects that. im 20 btw and he s 25. we live really far from each other, we only talk on the phone and we videochat everyday. the thing is sometimes i feel so hornyyy and whenever ...
A. 25 April 2012: Masturbate more? For most women sex doesn't result in an orgasm anyways, it's mostly touching/rubbing/oral sex, things you can do if you are still a virgin (I'm not sure what oral sex counts as but it's not penetration).... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 25 April 2012: OP I'm not "judging" you because I'm prude or something, I'm trying to talk you out of it because I volunteer with many women who have been through this and most of them either suffered abuse, became addicted to drugs, and/or suffer SEVERE paranoia ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure I last longer than 5 seconds when we do have sex?
Q. I've been seeing this new girl for about a month now. She is super amazing, sweet, kind, funny and the hottest girl I have ever dated and I REALLY like her. We are taking things slow because her last relationship ended badly and I didnt want to ...
A. 24 April 2012: I know I'm not a guy, but my bf lasts by thinking about spreadsheets. I doubt she expects you to last a long time the first time though! You can also have a quick wank before she gets there, though that doesn't work for everyone.... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 24 April 2012: "Maybe the problem isn't the fact it's porn, it's just the perceived promiscuity."
Well it's not really perceived since you are "having sex" with lots of people you don't know. There is very little similarity between someone having a lot of sex a... (read in full...)
Crush on the guy at the grocery store, what do I do now?
Q. Ok so a few weeks ago I went to a grocery store that I don't go to often, but I am really glad that I did. Because there I saw the most greatest looking guy working there. I went to the bathroom and on my way there, he smiled and said hi to me. ...
A. 24 April 2012: If you think he might be interested, you gotta just go for it. Give him your number as you're leaving and say something like if you ever want to get a coffee or something... Good luck! I have regretted not asking guys out before but I've never ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy but I'm not sure he is the one.....do I only feel like this because I don't have any previous relationships to compare this to?
Q. Is my boyfriend not the one for me? Or do I just not see it because I have no previous relationship experience and therefore no one to compare him to? I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we live together. Ever since we moved in I’ve...
A. 24 April 2012: I didn't have experience before my current boyfriend, but I knew and he knew. It wasn't even a question even though we're both new to relationships. I think if you don't feel he's the one now, it might be time to take a break and keep trying. It's ... (read in full...)
I want to get married to this man someday, but to stand at the alter with the man who used to abuse me standing by his side, is unthinkable!
Q. I love the man I am with, unfortunately his best friend is an ex of mine, an abusive ex. His argument is that they have been friends longer than I have known him and that everyone makes mistakes. He is a godly man and believes we need to forgive one ...
A. 24 April 2012: This isn't about forgiveness, he abused you. He doesn't deserve forgiveness or understanding. Your wedding day is about you and your future husband, not about him and his friends. The fact that he's even still friends with someone who abused you is ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 24 April 2012: No one is saying porn causes otherwise non-violent men to rape, but there is no question among ANY researchers that porn use, especially violent porn use increases aggression (not the same as actually going and raping someone) and increases ... (read in full...)
B/f proposed to me but I'm unsure since he seems addicted to porn
Q. My bf of 2.5yrs has asked me to marry him. I know most women would be absolutely giddy with happiness, yet I told him that I needed to think about it. Earlier in the year I walked in on him jacking off to porn. When we first started dating he told ...
A. 24 April 2012: I don't think this means he's going to cheat. But if porn isn't something you can live with, you should not marry him because it's unlikely to stop. He doesn't sound addicted to me, for some reason this kind of dependence is considered normal. But ... (read in full...)
Spoke to online date on the phone - he sounds effeminate!!!
Q. I met someone online and we seem to have alot in common - we both think each other is attractive and I have given him my number to call me. He has called but his voice sounds effeminate! I don't know what to think. I have gay friends and I k...
A. 24 April 2012: The way someone's voice sounds has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Why would he be meeting women online if he was gay (as opposed to meeting men)?... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 24 April 2012: Yes, that would be a problem for some guys. Not all. It's not just relationships though, it's also future jobs. You want to risk that your future employer or coworkers have seen you in porn? Just remember once those photos are out there, you can't ... (read in full...)
I don't want to leave my boyfriend but I don't know how we can go back to being lovers now that I've cheated on him and that we've been living as 'friends' for a year
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half and we have been living together for a year. He started having serious back problems a year ago and we have not had sex since then. He now wants us to buy a flat together but I am scared of committing ...
A. 23 April 2012: You need to leave him, you cheated and it's not fair to him.... (read in full...)
What are the top reasons for cheating?
Q. hello, thanks for ansewering me... i appreciate all advices. one question. Why girls/woman cheat? What are top reasons? Thank you....
A. 23 April 2012: Mostly the same as most men. Insecurities/feeling unappreciated and not having the moral compass to break up first.... (read in full...)
How can I fix my insecurities?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because of my insecurities that got the best of me. We've been together before 5 years ago for 1.5 yrs and broke up because he tried to be with another girl while we were together and talking to an ex gf behind my back. ...
A. 23 April 2012: You didn't break up because of your insecurities, you broke up because he's untrustworthy. Whether he is actually cheating or not, he lies and sneaks around with his ex-gf. I'm really sorry he's been able to convince you that this is YOUR problem ... (read in full...)
I hate food it makes me sick!
Q. Hello aunt and uncles this isn't a relationship question but I really feel so alone and haven't found anyone to help me with this. I hate food it makes me feel sick and I always feel disgusted after I have eaten. I feel so down and repulsed. The ...
A. 19 April 2012: Here is a website that may help:
http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/eating.asp
Also a forum that could be helpful:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/eating-problems-and-phobias-117060/
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I work... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 18 April 2012: No I don't think so. If any did come out the bottom it's still unlikely to get in you since the base of the condom usually doesn't go inside your vagina and if a lot came out, you'd smell it. A little movement down the condom happens sometimes and ... (read in full...)
Worried that a future partner won't be as financially stable as my ex
Q. Hi All. Okay me and my long distant boyfriend of 9 months have just recently split up. The relationship was like a rollercoaster from day one, he would ignore me for days, accuse me of being with other people, act secretive i.e his phone, we split ...
A. 18 April 2012: I'm sorry that didn't work out, and I can understand how that must be a bit of a shock to leave that kind of life. But you are asking for sense-knocking, so I will try.
If you want luxury and money, you can't rely on others to get it for you, you... (read in full...)
Despite a new love she can't get her 'first' out of her mind
Q. emergency!! Basically friend A is in love with friend B but friend A lost her virginity a few months ago to another guy (she was not with friend B at this time). She is deeply in love with B but can't help but think of this guy now and again. She ...
A. 18 April 2012: Thinking of someone occasionally doesn't mean you love them or have special hormones, it just means they were a part of your life at some point and you have memories them. Just because you stop seeing someone doesn't mean they are erased from your ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my sexless marriage?
Q. Alright, since my last question turned into a "what are you doing?" response page...I'll add more to my question. My wife and I have two sets of twins (11 yo girls, 7 yo boys) and we nearly have a sexless mariagge. She and I met when I was ...
A. 18 April 2012: When people give that as a response they don't mean she's withholding sex as punishment, they mean it's just very tiring to have to do all the housework and childcare and so having to think about sex can often just feel like another chore piled on. ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 18 April 2012: If someone gets shot in an action move they didn't really get shot. If someone is exposed to HIV or double penetrated or forced to gag/vomit in porn, that did really happen. Not only are they not the same, they are opposites.... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not attracted to my gf anymore, but I still love her
Q. Man... How to explain this without sounding like a jerk... My girlfriend was never really the hot and sexy type of girl, but whenever she dressed up well she would look really beautiful. She also has a great personality, which is probably why I ...
A. 17 April 2012: I think saying you've been lied to is pretty melodramatic. After the honeymoon phase is over people often find their personalities are incompatible. It's unpleasant, but it happens. It's probably time to just move on. It honestly doesn't sound like ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and feeling very alone, to make things worse after I went to my first check-up alone I found flirty texts to another woman! Am I being extra clingy because I'm pregnant?
Q. My boyfriend has a lot of responsibilities. Parents etc. He works hard too. We found out I am pregnant but he doesn't seem to pay any attention to me anyway. When I asked him to spend more time with me after work, he recently questioned me if I ...
A. 17 April 2012: If it's something you're mentally able to do, you should seriously consider abortion. This guy will not be there for you. He isn't there for you now, he certainly won't be if you have a baby. I think rather than trying to talk to the father, you ... (read in full...)
Should I be an asshole to get girls? Or be the nice guy? Or just give up and save myself the hassle?
Q. Im 19 and have aspbergers disorder (autism). tragicly for me, im a super nice guy. I dont think im ugly or that it had to do with my looks sense ive seen way gnarly looking asshole guys get handful's of women. I want to know if its better to be...
A. 17 April 2012: My boyfriend has mild aspergers, he didn't get his first girlfriend until 19 (that was me) even though he is extremely attractive. Not because he's too nice, but because he's very shy. In fact if I hadn't asked him out we never would have dated even ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my sexless marriage?
Q. Alright, since my last question turned into a "what are you doing?" response page...I'll add more to my question. My wife and I have two sets of twins (11 yo girls, 7 yo boys) and we nearly have a sexless mariagge. She and I met when I was ...
A. 17 April 2012: For anyone just reading the other question is here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-tired-of-feeling-guilty-for-wanting-sex.html
I agree, if you have the money, hire a maid and pay for more childcare (after school programs and such). The l... (read in full...)
Why would a guy who admits to being taken still ask me for naughty pictures and videos?
Q. Why, oh why would anyone who admits to being taken still ask for naughty pictures and videos? I have a male friend who I've known for a year. We met through a mutual friend; and so every time we see each other, we're in a group. Over time this g...
A. 17 April 2012: Because he wants to cheat on his girlfriend. Pretty much every person who has cheated on their partner tells the other woman that his girlfriend or wife is mean, boring, ugly, bad in bed etc... The truth is they don't really have a bad partner, they ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: You should try masturbating together, like side by side. Then you can still be involved in each other's sex lives but it's faster and less stress on your back. Lots of couples do this, especially after having kids.... (read in full...)
How do I know when I'm reaching orgasm?
Q. Hey there. So i've been dating this guy for 3 months now, and i really enjoy being with him. We have sex regularlay, and it is always amazing. The thing is, before him i never really orgasmed with anyone else, so for a while i was still in wo...
A. 17 April 2012: There's a very definite change from build up to release. Even on orgasms that were really wimpy there's a definite change. It sounds like you've just been getting close. Maybe really close. I know this will sound weird, but it's not that uncommon to ... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 17 April 2012: Well I wasn't really looking so it was really more smelled it when I went to clean up... It's best just to avoid letting it get to the base of the condom by having him stop thrusting and you should stop moving around as well, as soon as he's done ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 17 April 2012: It's been shown many times (in studies performed since the 1970s) that porn does not "cause" violence among about 3/4 of people, but among risk groups it is a very significant contributing factor in their likelihood to actually commit sexually ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: "We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity"
"Relationships are supposed to be give and take"
Yes relationships are supposed to be about give and take. That means you "take" the responsibility for the kids an equal amount and she migh... (read in full...)
Condom question, is this normal?
Q. I have a condom question.... I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I noticed that when he had pulled out, there was semen both in the end of the condom, but also some had appear to move down the shaft towards the base of the condom. None ...
A. 17 April 2012: A small amount of movement is normal, like below the head of his penis, but if it's all the way at the base that's not normal. Unless it was actually pushed out the bottom it can't get you pregnant from there, but if it's near the bottom there's ... (read in full...)
Guys, you know porn is fake, right?
Q. Okay, so this is another porn question. I know I know, this seems to be a rather popular topic But I am straight up just curious. Obviously a lot of men like porn and a lot of women as well. This is a question for men, both single and in a ...
A. 16 April 2012: Well that depends. Older guys probably consciously mostly think it's fake. The more worrying thing is people who don't realize it's real. What I mean by that is the idea that it's fantasy when it's not. The comments about thinking the women are hot ... (read in full...)
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