A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,i really need help on this.. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago and we started talking to each other on the internet.. We went out last night for the first time and he asked me with how many guys i've been.. I told him the truth that i've slept with quite a lot of men and he was dissapointed because he told me he only had 3 very serious relationships in his life.. Today that we talked again he said we can never be together because of this and that it really matters to him that i've done this.. I tried changing his mind and telling him i've made mistakes like everyone else but he insisted.. I know i shouldn't care and just move on but i liked him so much and i want to be with him.. What do u think i should do?? Sorry for the long question and thank u for answering :)
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male
reader, RockAndHardPlace  +, writes (22 May 2012):
He asked you an honest question and you got an honest response. I do not judge you for your past and he shouldn't either if you have really changed. We all make choices and life and have to deal with the consequences. Always be upfront with people in a relationship when it comes to exes. The girl I'm seeing has a past with someone I can't stand and lied about being with him. I decided I could deal with it and the past was the past. She expressed remorse for being with him and hiding it. If he can't deal with a part of your past then you need to let him go and move on.
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (19 May 2012):
 If he doesnt like a part of you that you cannot change then he is not worth being in your life and your efforts.
He probably feels intimidated by your experience and is maybe jealous as in todays society i guess men can be judged on the little women they sleep with.
He is just being stupid and let him cope with his own insecurities as obviously he has judged you for a part of your life.
Don't let him make you feel bad about your past either, you have learnt a lot from your experiences and probably made you into a more knowledgeable person.
Wait for someone who likes you for you and ignore those know judge you or make you feel bad about yourself. They are not worth the time or effort!
Goodluck :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 May 2012):
 You had a crush on this guy but it's only been two weeks. You can't possibly know someone within 2 weeks. Luckily you got to know that this guy is a manipulative sexist before you invested anything more in him.
You don't want to change his mind, because if he decided to stay with you it's likely he'd try to "punish" you for your choices. I'm sorry a guy you liked turned out like that, but it happens and you just have to move on to find someone who isn't so ignorant.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 May 2012):
 In all honesty you should consider yourself lucky for having had a lucky escape from such an insecure judgemental immature idiot.
This guy doesn't even know you and is already manipulating you. It's only been two weeks, you cannot know enough about him to know if you want to be 'with' him. He isn't prepared to see you on an even playing field and is forming his opinion of you based on your past.
Is he so perfect that he can make you feel so bad...you are practically begging him to be with you and that is neither attractive or good for your self esteem.
When you next meet someone, don't feel you have to confess all up front. Don't give too much away and retain an air of mystery.
You laid all your cards on the table (probably trying to show you are open and honest) and he has used it as a weapon to ditch you.
He isn't going to change his opinion so I would forget him and find someone who's a little less uptight.
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