A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and have found ourselves in a long distance relationship where we see each other every second month. This is not a permanent arrangement but will be for 8 months.We keep in touch regularly everyday when apart via text, telephone calls and Skype and are in contact throughout the day!I also send him really naughty pics and videos of myself when we're away to keep things spiced up!Unfortunately...I found that my boyfriend has been watching porn on live webcams and paying for it. This only happens when I'm away and it happens sometimes every second day (I have seen payment receipts in his email). He hasnt told me about this and I dont want to make a big deal out of it but should I be concerned?Why does he not use our Skype time to pleasure himself instead of paying to watch other women?Please help! I'm not sure how to handle this!
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 I think it's perfectly normal for you to be upset if he's doing webcams with other women. That's not porn, that's interaction with other women. Most guys don't realize it's crossing the line into cheating, so maybe you should talk about it with him. Wait until you're together though. And realize that if you bring it up he may just hide it. I personally would not tolerate live webcams, but that's just me. If you ask him to stop doing this though, you should offer to make him videos and pictures in return.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): Yeah, you should be worried that he's wasting his money paying for something which is easily gotten for free.
There's tonnes of free porn all over the internet, why is he paying for it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): My boyfriend and I have done the visual thing on Skype before but his web cam is bust so we havent in a while. He can see me though and I have passed comment - hints - about doing it again...but he sort of dismisses it. I just dont want to make an issue out of it if it's just a guy thing. But when it's a secret and when it's the same type of women (age, look etc) that he watches...is it a concern then?
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (17 June 2010):
 Breaking this down: Skype is "type printed word". Porn is visual. Men are hard-wired to respond to visual stimuli. Hence the attraction to the visual rather than "reading" it. Try not to take it personal. I don't believe it is. It's not a reflection upon you as though he'd prefer what he sees to you. This is a hard one to wrap the our heads around. Us girls are wired differently than men. Have you tried to tell him this bothers you?
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